Love or money

Indecisive

I woke up and my head hurt so bad, I looked around and thank God I am in my room, flashes from yesterday night started coming up and I feel so ashamed of myself and suddenly I remember why I went to the club in the first place and that was because I caught Jake cheating, but how did Mr Avian get me to my house and to my bed because all I remember is falling asleep in his car. the thought of calling Mr Avian came up and when I took my phone I saw that had tons of miss calls from my mom, Vivian and that cheat of a boyfriend.

I decided to call Vivian instead, she was short of words and even suggested going to beat up Jake, I’m so lucky to have a bestie that would do anything to see me happy. I don’t feel like getting out of bed and more so because of my mom, she will definitely notice my bad mood. Heaven don’t you have to go to the agency and why didn’t you take my calls yesterday??My mom voice woke me up and I wish I could just disappear so that she won’t see me. I don’t have anything to do today and my went to bed too early than usually, I said this because she has been on night shift and only come home 5am in the morning. Then come help me out with breakfast. Ahh !! This woman won’t stop, I have no option than to get up, I totally forgot that I’m not a princess that gets to stay in bed all day. Ohh my Goodness!! What happened to your face sweetheart! My mom screamed!! I totally forgot to check the mirror and fix my face before coming down. Mom I just had a rough night and terrible nightmare. I lied but thankfully she bought my story. We ate in silence until she appreciated me for the gift.

I’m back to my room and I refuse to cry again. I thought of calling Mr Avian but what is he going to think? That I’m trying to get another boyfriend after been cheated upon, but he doesn’t even know I broke up with Jake and I just hope I didn’t say anything to him in my drunken state. Jake has has been calling and texting me like his life depends on it. I’m not going to take his call ever again. I slept the whole day and it’s time to go get some fresh air. Went to Vivian’s and my girl suggested I hook up with someone new immediately but I’m done with relationships, not Jake or Mr Avian .

Went home after having a nice chat with my bestie and to be honest I feel so much better and Jake can go to hell. Got to my house to meet him at my gate, what are you doing here, did your bed mate run and leave you?? I asked him those questions and he had no words but I’m sorry. You are sorry or what did you say? You cheated on me and all you can say is I am sorry’ you didn’t think of me and all that we share before you started sleeping around. Please Heaven I love you, it won’t happen again, it was a big mistake on my part. You know I have been going through a lot, pressure and everything you know that baby. Don’t you dare baby me I argued back. He started crying and begging on his knees and I hate to see him like this but I just can’t forgive him yet, I still love him but how could he just cheat on me without thinking twice. I have heard you and I will think about it but for now we are no longer together just know that, you had your chance and you f****d up.don’t say that baby you are still my girlfriend and I won’t give up on you. Just go home because I’m too tired to be having this conversation with you.

He went home after I promise to think about it and honestly I don’t know what to think about, he did bad and what If it was the other way round will he forgive me?? Probably not but I still love him and care about his well being but how can I care about two men in the same way. Mr Avian has been on my mind of late even before Jake cheated and this is an opportunity to actually go for him but it will be bad of me to use him as a rebound and what if he finds out that I only came to him because my boyfriend cheated ? Will he still want to be with me after finding out that he is my second option? No man wants to be that but going back to Jake is something else! How am I sure he won’t cheat again? He seemed genuine about his apology but once a cheat is always a cheat and maybe all this was my fault. I didn’t give him what he needed as a man but he could have spoken to me about it. I thought of what to do till I got a call from my manager, he wants me to do a shoot for my birthday and I just can’t wait.

In a few days I will be celebrating my birthday and this was not how I planned it, all my birthday plans involves Jake, it’s suppose to be our special time, we had plan on going on a mini vacation and to take our relationship to the next level but here I am few days to my birthday without a boyfriend and not knowing what to do. He just couldn’t wait just for few days. He messaged again asking me about my plans for my birthday but honestly I don’t think I want to involve him again, so I replied with nothing, I don’t know why I’m replying his text but then I will rather stay at home watching Netflix than going on any awkward date with him. I can’t give myself to him after all this, even if we are to get back together it will take time for me to trust him again and that is if I can again.

Hello miss Drunker!! A text popped up and I have never been this happy to see his text, it’s a text from Mr Avian. Hi!! Immediately I replied he started calling. Are you still drunk ? How can he call me and this is the first thing he is asking. Nope! I didn’t want to sound too excited so I decided to give a one answer thing to his question. Come outside if you can. I said the okay too quickly but I don’t regret it. Like he is outside my house.