Hidden Among Wolves

Chapter 4

Amari’s POV

“Dad, you promised you would train with me!”I overheard Maya's whining as I made my way around the hallways on my way to the kitchen. I had always remembered my home to be warm and inviting, but today felt different. It was as if I had become a stranger in a house I'd known my entire life. I can not recall a single moment I was unhappy here.

“Sorry honey, it slipped my mind. How about tomorrow?” Their voices reached my ears clearly, but the words seemed disconnected in my mind. Just as I turned the corner, Maya let out a cry.

"Why do you always choose Amari over me!" Her accusation hit me instantly as she turned her gaze in my direction. I remained silent, watching as her flaring nostrils and narrowed eyebrows revealed her intense hatred towards me. I sensed her anger, yet her words remained hazy in my mind. It seemed that Maya had always harbored some form of resentment towards me, no matter how hard I tried to earn her favor.

“I am pulling out my application,” I uttered, barely paying any attention to their ongoing conversation. My voice felt distant and disconnected, as if it belonged to someone else. It did not feel like me, but now I had no idea who me was exactly.

“Amari…” Dad’s voice faded into the distance. No doubt he was trying to reason with me. But I couldn't fathom why. I'd been living a lie, a charade. Beneath it all, I was nothing more than a mere human, a secret that, if exposed, the Kingdom would not hesitate to slaughter.

“Yay!” Maya’s voice echoed in my head. “You can come with me now,” she continued, as I made my way to the refrigerator. I was not hungry, but I felt the need to rummage through something. I eventually settled on a strawberry yogurt sitting in the back corner.

“Maya, this was not about Amari. I am still required to assess all the candidates.” I turned back to find Dad staring at me. He could not say anything further as he realized there was nothing he could do to change my mind.

“That’s the last one!” Maya exclaimed, her eyes fixed on the yogurt in my hand. “You know it's my favorite!” She was almost on the verge of tears as if I had committed a heinous act towards her.

“Maya, that’s enough!” the windows began to vibrate as dad’s voice traveled through the room, making the windows rattle in response.

“It’s fine dad,” I would be lying if I said I didn’t want my sister to like me. I doubted that sacrificing breakfast would suddenly transform our relationship, but I held onto the hope that someday it might. “Jay is picking me up,” I placed the yogurt in front of Maya. “I hope you enjoy it,” I managed a faint smile before turning toward the hallway. I knew I needed to find a way to pull myself together.

“Amari…” Dad began.

“I know,” I quickly interrupted, unwilling to let my dad say anything more. I was a human, and I was not able to tell the one person who could make me feel better. Mostly I feared he would not accept me for who I was.

Feeling like a stranger in my home, I decided to wait for Jay outside. As the door swung open, a gentle breeze hit my cheeks. I chuckled when a sudden thought hit me. Wolves do not generally suffer in cold weather. Even those that have not shifted yet tolerate the cold. But it was not necessarily a tell-all symptom of being human. I had been informed many years ago that I had fallen extremely ill as an infant. Because of this, it wasn't alarming to anyone that I wasn't as strong as the others.

“Hello there gorgeous,” I had been deep in thought when Jay’s voice pulled me from the depths. I looked up to find a shadow of a robust frame blocking the sunlight. His shoulders were as broad as the tree line behind him. Though the sun partially obscured my vision, it was evident that his features were finely chiseled and remarkably handsome. He had captured my heart long before I had fully grasped it. Whenever I stumbled, he was there to lift me back up, but the burden of my secret weighed heavily on me.

“Do I smell chocolate?”I immediately rose to my feet, though I couldn't help but feel a hint of surprise at the scent. It wasn't unexpected, considering I knew I occupied a constant place in his thoughts.

“A homemade delicacy for a princess,” he whispered, running his fingers through his raven-shaded locks. With a sly smile, he insinuated that he was a decadent chocolate, tempting and irresistible. As I was on the verge of ignoring him, he ensnared me with that very hand. His touch was a captivating blend of gentleness and raw, overpowering aggression, leaving me utterly entranced. He acted as if we had been separated for an eternity, but it had only been since yesterday. His favorite pastime was to playfully torment me by hovering his lips over mine, only a breath away from an elusive kiss.

Being several inches taller than me, he found it effortless to carry out this teasing game. He traced my lips over and over again, until I could not wait any longer. With a surge of longing, I propelled myself into the air. Instantly, he caught me in his free arm, and I smashed my lips onto his soft lips. Instantly, he caught me in his free arm, and I pressed my lips against his, savoring his tender lips. I could never get enough of his lips. A single touch by him sent shivers down my spine. I could hear him give a reluctant groan as he placed me back down.

“Don’t do this to me,” his face flushed red as he tried to play it cool. “We need to get going.” He looked behind me, towards my house. He was nervous my dad would come out at that moment. My father was, after all, the general of the empire and he was dating one of his daughters. “And you are going to wrinkle the uniform.”

“Alright let’s go, but you do look amazing.” I giggled as I made my way to his car. The world could be up in flames but a moment with Jay would make me forget everything.

“But first, I get the sense you skipped breakfast,” he remarked with a knowing smile. From behind him, he produced a neatly wrapped triple chocolate muffin. This wasn't the first time I had yielded to Maya's whims. She had an uncanny ability to desire whatever I held in my grasp. Jay's treats weren't always the healthiest, but they were always delicious.

“Something is wrong?” Jay waited for my response as I took the muffin from his hand and made my way toward the car. Of course, I could hear him, but I wanted to pretend as if I had not. I was not ready for this conversation, and I wasn't certain if I could bring myself to lie to him.

“Amari?” His hand landed on the car door, blocking my way, and compelling me to turn and face him. I turned to him but said nothing. I mean, what could I say?

“Alright, what’s wrong?” I could sense concern in his voice. Struggling to find the right words to say, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m nervous, that’s all.” Not knowing how else to react, I began fidgeting with my muffin.

“Amari, you don’t do nervous.” He lifted his left eyebrow, challenging my statement. His fiery ember eyes sizzled as they demanded an explanation. “And stop playing with your food,” he grunted.

“My bad,” I said as I engulfed my treat. "I guess there's a first time for everything," I managed to mumble between bites.

“Maybe, but not for you. Now tell me what this is really about.” He smiled warmly as he wiped the side of my lips. My less-than-graceful eating habits were clearly evident.

“What if I’m not what you think?” I decided that offering a half-truth might be the most reasonable approach, considering he had an uncanny knack for detecting my lies.

"Are you kidding? I've known you since you were a wee pup," he said, using his thumb and index finger to illustrate how small I had been in the past.

Although Jay had no intention of making me feel bad, I couldn't help but feel empty inside.

“What if my wolf never comes?” I tried to hide the emotions behind every word.

“Don’t tell me that’s what you worried about?” Jay said, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. “You’re a badass as you are and everyone knows it,” I mustered a smile as he spoke, but memories of my childhood flooded back. I remember my father pushing me relentlessly, day in and day out. While other young ones frolicked and enjoyed their days, all I did was train endlessly. Back then, I believed it was because my father was a general, but now I realize he was attempting to conceal my one flaw.

“You are right, aren’t I?” I whispered. But for the first time in my life, I doubted that I was anything other than a weak human.

“Is that all?” He said unconvinced by my words.

“Yes,” my voice was sad and defeated.

“Alright,” he said, pausing for a moment. I could sense him wrestling with thoughts, striving to decipher my true feelings. “We better get going before we are late. But I assure you we will come back to this. We will work this out together.” I love Jay but would he still love me if he knew the truth? I would like to think that I knew him well enough to say he would, but I was not sure.

The next few hours blurred into a hazy procession. I scarcely recollect how I ended up in formation. I focused on not moving from my designated spot and maintained my stance throughout the ceremony. Jay had been promoted to Captain, and though I should have been happy for him, I was lost in a mental fog, merely going through the motions. It wasn't until my turn arrived that I tuned in to the voices around me.

“We will proceed with the Lieutenant candidates,” the voice of the Major echoed in my ears. “We will begin with Corporal Albright, who has demonstrated…” Before I allowed him to continue, I took two steps forward. My actions sent whispers rippling through the crowd.

“Corporal, you have something to say.” The Major’s voice was deep and commanding as he addressed me. It did not matter who my father was, I would not be given a pass for this sudden change in position.

“I here withdraw…” For the first time in years, my voice cracked as I spoke. I had never given up nor accepted defeat. I watched my father twitch slightly in his chair, knowing I had not recanted my decision.

“Speak,” This time my father's voice echoes throughout the field.

“I here withdraw my application from your council,” from the corner of my eye I watched Jay’s face petrify in complete shock. If he had his way, he would have run out here and recanted everything I had said.

A profound silence blanketed the field as all eyes turned toward the General. If my father had insisted that I remain a candidate, no one would have dared to question his orders. However, his silence spoke volumes to the Major. If my father didn't oppose my decision, then it was as good as confirmed. It may have been an understatement to claim that favoritism played no role in my situation. Certainly, the Major had to consider my father's influence, but my father was a man who staunchly believed in equality.

"Dismissed, Corporal Albright," the Major's order still ringing in my ears, I promptly turned and marched away. The moment I was out of sight, I broke into a sprint.

Without a wolf, who was I now?