Finding herself

Chapter 11: Returning home

The next two weeks went by quickly and somewhat uneventfully. During the day I spent my time at work or shopping with the girls and at night we were out partying or I slept at Sebastian's. But I still haven't gotten my panties back.

I got the hang of the work at the diner and I enjoyed working there more and more. Pack members knew me and seemed to like me, they never complained about me or my work.

I did make some changes to my room. Well, more adjustments, than changes. I changed the rug from white and brown to all white, one of those fluffy ones, that you can sink your feet into. And I changed the bed covers from satin to cotton. I couldn't keep the satin ones on the bed, they kept sliding off.

There are some other things I added as well, some pictures of me and the girls, a lamp on the desk, and some bathroom supplies. I felt amazing buying these things for the first time and I finally had the room I always wanted.

Today is Friday and Alpha Jeremy promised to take me to my old pack. And he told me to call him Jeremy instead of Alpha, but I just feel weird doing so and we agreed on Alpha Jeremy.

I just finished my shift and walked home, where lunch was waiting for me, and after I took a shower and packed my bags for the weekend.

Someone knocked on the door of my room and I opened the door.

"Hey, are you ready?" Alpha Jeremy asked, he held his bag in his hand. He wore cargo pants, a leather jacket, and combat boots. All black.

"I am," I answered while zipping my bag up. I wore camouflage cargo pants, a black tank top, a leather jacket, and black combat boots. My hair was in a bun.

We walked downstairs and outside, where a black jeep waited for us. We put our bags in the back and climbed in the front, me in the passenger seat.

Suddenly, the back door on my side opened and I turned back, only to see Maya climbing in.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, puzzled.

"You didn't think you would be leaving without me, did you?" she was smiling and I just rolled my eyes at her. Of course, she wouldn't miss an adventure.

We fastened our seatbelts and started our trip.

Alpha Jeremy told us about pack history, about how he and his father ran from their pack that was under attack, just to stay alive. How they found an empty city and remodeled it through time. More and more wolves came, unaware there even was a pack there and they sought refuge. Most were on the run, some were looking to start somewhere fresh. But everybody kept the secret.

Maya was one of those who wanted something new. Something exciting. Who never fit in in their old life. Probably because of her big mouth and inability to shut up. And it's amazing how everybody is accepted. I knew at that moment, I'm where I was supposed to be.

We drove for a couple of hours and stopped to eat at a drive-through once. Alpha Jeremy turned from the main road to a forest path. It had a lot of holes and we had to go slow, but thankfully not muddy.

The trees were thick and it seemed to me like we got lost. Just as I was about to ask if we turned the right way, a clearing came into view, with a few buildings standing, scattered across it. Some were beautiful but covered in ivy, but some were burned or had broken windows or missing walls.

We stopped in front of a burned house, which was surrounded by bushes, but I could recognize the stairs anywhere.

It was my childhood home. My family's home. The place where I last saw my parents.

I felt as if time has stopped and stood still. I felt numb and tears ran down my cheeks.

Scenes from that night played in my head over and over and I don't know how much time I stood frozen like that.

I woke up from my hazed dream and started walking towards the house. I broke a few branches and made my way up the stairs. The first floor of the house was still somewhat standing and the door was still there, closed. I opened it and stepped inside.

I could see the stairs were no longer there, burned to the ground. Some picture frames were still up, but only one of the pictures was still intact to the point, where you could see three faces, smiling and looking happy. Mom, dad, and me. The edges were ruined but it was still a picture, nonetheless. I took it off the wall, the frame broke in my hands. I put the picture in my jacket pocket and looked around more. The living room ceiling was caved in, the piano unrecognizable underneath. Some toys were scattered around the place still and I couldn't help but feel guilty for not obeying my mom when she told me to pick them up.

I made my way into the kitchen, where everything was intact. I guess the fire didn't reach it, since it was on the other side of the house. The dishes were still in the sink, washed, but never put away. My favorite barbie mug was still there. A pink plastic cup with a handle. I picked it up and put it on a mantle above the sink with the other cups.

Next, I picked up the plates and put them in a cupboard underneath. I opened the drawer next and put away the cutlery. When I was done, I picked up the tablecloth and started to fold it, just like mom used to do. More and more tears streamed down my face and I had to sit down. I didn't even realize I was shaking.

I put my face in my hands and just sat like that for a while. The sun started to set and the house started getting darker.

Suddenly, the smell of pancakes hit my nose and I looked up. Maya was standing next to the table and divided the pancakes into three parts.

"When did you have time to make pancakes?" I asked her. To be honest, I forgot she was there. I had been so lost in my mind the whole day that it seemed only minutes had passed.

"I didn't. Alpha and I went and picked them up from a restaurant a couple of miles back. We guessed you needed time for yourself and would be hungry. And it seems we were right. And after seeing this place it makes me so sad you had to go through something so horrible so young. I couldn't even imagine what it looked like that day." She started eating her food and I followed, my stomach rumbling.

"That night. It was night when it happened. It was horrible. The flames, the bodies, the smell of blood, everything. Where is Alpha Jeremy, I have something I need to ask him." I inhaled my food as quickly as I could and stood up.

Just then, Alpha walked through the door with a cell phone in his hand. "Sorry, I had a call. I'm here now. Are you okay?" He asked while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I will be. What happened to the bodies? I know there were a couple of them next to the house, but I can't even smell blood. Did you do something?"

Alpha sighed and sat down. "Yes, I did. When we came here after the attack, me and some of my pack members buried the bodies. Just the ones that belonged to this pack. I knew it was the best way to find someone alive, but sadly, there was none. Do you want to see your parents' grave?" I sighed and looked at Maya.

"If I could, of course. That's the family grave now, I suppose. And then we could find somewhere to sleep, I'm exhausted." I stood up and cleaned up after myself. When I was done, the two already ate their food and were waiting for me to finish. We walked out and it was already dark.

We kept walking toward the woods and stopped in front of a gated section of the clearing. We stepped over the small fence and when we got closer, I could see the stones on the ground with names written on them. There was a path in the middle of the stones and we walked to the back. Alpha Jeremy stopped in front of one, and I could see it had THORN written on it, and under were names, Noel and Maria. My parents. I felt like breaking down again, but a voice made me pull myself together.

'Don't you dare cry. It's been 14 years. Now it's time for revenge. Direct your energy into an act of perfect revenge and honor your parents' memory as they deserve it. You know what they say. Revenge is a dish best served cold.'

Onyx surprised me with something positive for a change. But I suppose she felt shitty today too and I owe her to at least try.

'Thanks, I needed that. But we don't even know who did this. It could have been anybody. We don't have the people or power to avenge anybody.' I told her, as I was getting skeptical again.

'All that will change, I promise. Just wait. We waited this long, what is a year or two more? But you seriously need to train. This weak you won't be of any use to anybody. Just forget about it and find out as much as you can from the Alpha, maybe he knows something useful.'

And she was right. About everything. I am weak. And we could wait. And I do need to get as much information as I can. So I guess that is my next move. I turned to my companions.

"Can we go to sleep now? It's all been too much." I was done with today and just wanted to get under the warm covers and rest my eyes.

"Sure, come with us, the alpha's house is almost untouched and we dropped our bags there. There is still electricity and water running. It should suffice for today and tomorrow." Alpha Jeremy said and started walking out of the cemetery. Maya and I followed him out and towards the biggest house in the clearing.

It had vines of ivy all over the walls, but it was still beautiful. It had a few broken windows and the door was ripped off its hinges, but otherwise, it was intact.

We stepped inside and there were a couple of candles burning in the living room. There were three sleeping bags on the floor and our bags were near them. I picked mine up and opened it, taking out a T-shirt and leggings. Maya showed me where the showers were and I stepped into the bathroom to get ready for sleep, but Maya stopped me before I could close the door.

"Hey, are you ok? I know it has been an emotional day and I just wanted to know if there is something I could do to help." She seemed genuinely concerned and I felt bad because I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Of course. Seeing the grave made me at peace, to know my parents are together again, even after they died. It moved a huge rock from my heart to know that."

She just slightly smiled at me and I closed the door. I hopped in the shower and washed. When I was done, I dried myself with a towel that was hanging next to the shower and got ready for bed. Tomorrow will be an interesting day.