Complete Me

Chapter 7

                                                             ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

                                                                                    Copyright © 2021 Cassey9

PROF. LAKEWOOD

“I’ll see you when once I clock out tomorrow,” he says kissing my cheek. His grasp fills me with assurance and holds the promise of support. Looking into his grey eyes I nod my head firmly, indicating “Boys...take care of mommy. Can I trust you with that?”

“Mm-hmm,” both respond and race up the driveway being their competitive selves.

“Thank you Kane. For everything,” my brother shakes his head and pulls me towards him again. The words ‘thank you’ something I’ve gotten very acquainted to saying over the past twenty four hours.

“Lawrence. Have you gotten in touch with him?”

“My phones broken,” I state pulling out the dead phone from my handbag. Kane checks the device trying to get it to start. Which it doesn’t. He sighs annoyed and digs into his front pocket and removes his own phone.

“Here, take mine Karey. I rarely use it,” extending it forward to me, “You need more than I do.”

My heart clenches at his action. Of the two of us he obviously needed it more but still went ahead and offered it to me. I nod my head refusing him. Kane always selfless to a point I believe he’d end up being stripped bare.

“No Kane. Thank you… really.”

“Stop being stubborn Karey just take it,” he insists, “We are siblings and siblings look out for one another.”

“I know…” Kane grabs my palm and slaps the phone in it. Case closed.

“You can use it to call that jerk of a husband on my behalf…”

“No need Kane. I have a new phone,” I reply. He doesn’t believe and I’m forced to pull the box out of my handbag.

“Oh s**t…that’s a really nice phone,” he comments unboxing it. I want to stop him, my intention still firm. I had to return the phone back to Ms. Stourton, “Still untouched I see. When did you go buy it?”

“Um…someone gifted it to me.”

“Is it your birthday? Don’t tell me I forgot…”

“No…they startled me. Prompting me to drop the phone,” I explain, “They felt responsible for it um…hence the phone.”

“That person got taste sis. It’s awesome. Latest model,” he comments his admiring gaze sweeping through the phone. “Yeah…latest Samsung. Released a fortnight ago.”

“What?”

“Mommy!” Killan voice sounds cutting short my disbelief.

“They need me,” I explain pointing towards the house. Kane smiles and waves at the boys and gets on his truck. Nicole waves at me from across the road and I wave in reply.

Nillan and Killan were seated in the front pouch couches talking and giggling between themselves. Pulling the keys out I open the front door and they both whiz right past almost knocking me done.

“Nillan! Killan!” I call in annoyance. Picking up their school bags I enter the house too. Heart in my mouth. A dim certainty of Lawrence being home strikes up as I wonder inside the house. Looking around for his familiar figure.

Killan and Nillan are in the living fighting over the remote. Dumping our bags on the couch I walk towards his office holding my breath, I push the door open, waiting for his calming voice to call my name. But nothing.

The office is as empty as it way the previous day. I shut the door forcefully and lean against for support. He was gone yet I still have a hard time believing it.

“Mommy. I’m hungry,” Nillan says patting my leg. “Can I have a sandwich please and a glass of milk?”

“Sure sweetie. Peanut butter and je…”

“No. I want a ham sandwich and mango juice, please,” he says smiling from ear to ear. Some of the throbbing pain in my chest recedes as I bend down to pick him up.

“Sure sweetie,” Nillan giggles as my fingers scratch his tummy. The sound so delightful to my ear that I tickle him too. Setting him on the counter safely I grab all the ingredients and get to work.

“Can it be crispy too?”

“Sure,” I answer setting a single slice on two pieces of bread that had margarine, “Go ask your brother if he wants a ham sandwich too…”

“Okay mommy,” helping him off the counter I start to make the second sandwich. Leaning against the counter I await for one of the boys to head in. Killan does.

Mommy can I have ice cream instead,” he asks smiling adorably.

“No sweetie,” I reply sternly, “Tomorrow we’ll go out then you can have all the ice cream you want.”

“Popsicles too?”

“Sure. Now Sandwich. Do you want it with ham too?”

“Yes mommy and milk.”

“Sure Killan. Mommy we’ll call you once it’s done.”

Killan walks out of the kitchen and I learn against the island again, the toaster goes off and I open to remove the first one. Setting two cups I pour the milk and warm it a bit.

Walking into the living room, I spot my sons sprawled on the floor with the couch pillows supporting their heads. Cartoon was playing on the television which had all of Killan’s attention, Nillan sees me first but then turns back to the screen

“Come on,” I say taking the remote from ground.

“I want to eat mine while watching TV,” Killan says not budging.

“No. Now get up. Can see that later.”

“Mommy please.”

“No Killan you might spill the milk on the floor,” I argue back calmly.

“But Marissa always let’s eat while watching TV.”

Walking towards him, I extend my hand to pull him up. He does so begrudgingly but doesn’t move to leave his spot, “You’ll watch it later. After you’ve eaten had a bath and done your homework.”

“But its Friday. We don’t have school tomorrow. Mommy can’t we do our homework tomorrow,” Killan says. “Marissa always lets us do our homework on Saturday. Not Friday!”

I take a calming breath “Well Mommy is not Marissa. Now let’s go. Your milk is getting cold.” Killan wraps his small hands around mine and we make our way to the kitchen.

“Mommy where is Marissa,” Killan asks.

“Um…She went on a trip Killan.”

“Like daddy?”

“Yes.”

I watch in silence as they eat their food. I was hungry too but I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. “What do you do right after you get from school?”

“Watch Super Why,” they answer happily.

“And Marissa? What does she do?”

“She goes into the office and works with Daddy,” Nillan says

“Oh really.”

“Mm-hmm,” Nillan nods.

“What do they do in the office,” I ask dreading the reply. What if the children noticed or had seen something.

“I don’t know,” Nillan shrugs, “Daddy never lets us go inside and…”

“He said never to disturb them when they work,” Killan interrupts his brother. I note his plate he was done with his food, “Can I be excused mommy?”

“Yes,” he off of his chair and racing to the living room.

In the office. With our sons around. How could he disrespect me like this, in our home. Lawrence was a son of a b***h, I slap the counter and lean against it.

“Mommy are you okay?” Nillan sounds. I look up and meet his worried gaze. Sensitive as he watches me. I nod unable to trust my voice.

“When is daddy coming back?”

“I don’t know sweetie.”

“Can we call him,” he asks.

“Of course. You want to talk to him Nillan?”

“Yes. I want to tell him to come home now. Because…because you miss him very much,” he says. “I don’t like seeing you sad Mommy”

“Oh Nillan. That’s so sweet of you,” rounding the island I pick him up and hold him tight. It can’t hold it anymore the tear fall silently. Nillan drags his hand through my hair, patting my head in the process. His action warrants more tears from me. It helps a lot and in no time I’m feeling the intense sadness vanishing bit by bit.

“I love you mommy.”

“Thank you sweetie,”

“Why don’t you come to watch super why with us,” Nillan asks kindly.

Nillan and proceed into the living room where Killan was consumed standing near television, “Not too close Killan,” I say warningly. Without a word he props on the floor, legs crossed his arms resting on each side head propped on them.

I seat on the grey couch and Nillan seats on my foot his back propped on me. When I concentrate on the television, the credits are rolling. A cartoon figurine flying all over the screen holding a question mark sign in and his shoes rocket like.

Killan finally pries his hand from the television, walking towards us. He gets on the sofa and lays his head on my lap. “Are you okay?”

He nods and gazes to the television. Of the two Killan was addicted to watching television no wonder he always made it a goal to beat Nillan on the race to have the remote. “Mommy can you put on Cocomelon for us?”

“Huh? What’s that?”

“Rain put it in for us and it was really nice.”

Ms. Stourton of course, “Oh she did?”

“Mm-hmm,” Nillan nods looking up at me, “She even sang the songs with us. It was fun.”

“Mommy let’s watch cocomelon!” Killan insists getting up. “I wanna see Cocomelon.”

“Later Killan, why don’t we go upstairs and take a bath and then I’ll put on cocokelom for you.”

The twins burst in laughter at my words, “What?”

“Its cocomelon Mommy,” Nillan says in a fit of laugh.

“Okay…cocomelon.”

It takes further coercing to make it upstairs. I run a bath for the boys and get them in. They play with their toys as I wash them. By the time I’m done I’m wet and so is there bathroom floor.

I take a quick shower shower after leaving the boys in their room playing with their building blocks. Afterwards I head downstairs to make us dinner. The food Ms. Stourton had brought lay untouched in the fridge. I warm up the fries and the chicken and munch on them as I make some rice and stew. I never indulged in such cravings and was serious about watching my weight but right now it didn’t matter. No one would see me, or care besides Lawrence had set his sights elsewhere.

The boys are in bed by nine. There were out like a light and had fallen asleep on my bed whilst I read them a story. Nillan had refused to leave my side, I was sure he was sensing something was wrong with me. Killan stuck by too, seating on my lap as I read for them.

I move to turn off the night side lamp and come face with my wedding day picture frame. It sat proud next to the picture of our sons. We were standing side by side with Lawrence kissing the side of my head as I held him close. The picture spoke volumes of emotion, love trust, care and forever.

My calls to Lawrence continue to go unanswered, his phone still switched off. I crumble lower in the bed clutching the picture tighter. Letting my frustrations out, without waking the twins. All I feel is as if I’m falling down the deepest hole with no consolation of ever seeing any sunlight. Plunging into a rock bottom abyss. I glare hard at the picture as if it would miraculously make Lawrence poof out of thin air.

I met Lawrence while working as a barista. From then on, he frequented the coffee shop until I finally accepted to go on a date with him. He was older than me by seven years and worked as an accountant in a business firm. Three years later we got married, from then on my life felt in tune. Once I finished my bachelor’s degree, Lawrence helped me get my first job. We were over the moon when I landed a Master’s degree in Print Journalism.

Lawrence was with me every step of the way, his support cruising me on. I applied for the lecturers exam and passed with flying colors

With my husband by my side there were no hurdles in life I wouldn’t conquer. Lawrence quit his job at the firm after they bypassed him for a promotion and focused on his online trading which he truly excels at. Two years before getting the twins we moved into our beautiful suburb house. Perfect for raising our children.

With the new house came new beginnings and after my fertility treatments. I got pregnant with Nillan and Killan. My first intention wanted to file for a ‘leave of absence’ at work for three years but Lawrence assured me to go on. The boys would be fine. He would take care of them.

The first two years I worked at the university part time. Coming home to help Lawrence with the kids and house too. Daycare was out of question and Lawrence and I struggled on together.

It was Lawrence who suggested a nanny. The boys were older now, the nanny would be a live in. It wasn’t a bad idea, I needed to focus on work and Lawrence said his online trading was picking up and required his undivided attentions.

Marissa came highly qualified and backed up by a great reference from her previous employers.  Lawrence and I liked her from the start. She was so good with the boys. Watching her interactions with Nillan and Killan firm but loving, goofy and playful. I knew Lawrence and I had made the right choice concerning her. She also had great cooking, organizational and management skills. I actually wondered if my husband and I had stumbled on a jackpot with her. Every once in a while I’d hike up her salary. She was a good of an employee to lose.

Too good that she eventually ran off with Lawrence. Right under my nose. I crumple the paper in hand. How could I have not seen anything? There had to be signs. Was I that blinded?

God! They even locked themselves in the home office with our children around. I laugh bitterly remembering Diana’s words.  How she once openly noted how unperturbed I was at leaving my husband at home with another woman for hours. That alone should had worried me, Marissa was eye-catching but that wasn’t reason enough to trouble me. She respected Lawrence and me.

On top of it Lawrence she respected our marriage, the sanctity of it. Fifteen years in our marriage had taught me to have certain of that. Well I was a fool to believe that. Lawrence and Marissa were probably halfway round the world sipping mojitos and laughing at my futility.