An Illicit Love

Chapter 8

When Catie arrived home, Kevin was watering the garden with Bryan ‘helping’, full of mud. Catie opened the gate and pulled her car into the driveway, getting out to close the gate behind her, so that their dog would not run into the street. After putting the car away, she walked over to Kevin and Bryan and greeted both with a kiss on the cheek. She mentally held her breath, waiting for the questions she was sure would be asked. But nothing happened. Nothing. Surely this momentous change in her could be seen by all? And especially the man she shared her life with? The only question was when would supper be ready and if she could fit in a cuppa while preparing it.

And so started an affair. Which probably should never have started. Which was wrong. But which was so very right it couldn’t be stopped or denied. It truly felt like an irresistable force which couldn’t be denied. Preordained. Or could it? Not by a mere mortal like Catie. Something this momentously special, could not be denied.

It could also not be banished to the nether regions of Catie’s brain and she found herself playing it out over and over in her mind. Yet she managed to prepare the food, and do everything else she needed to do without missing a beat. Excepting now and then when she drifted off in the memory of the kisses she and Dave had shared. Their embraces. Just being held by him had set her whole body aglow. It was not fanciful thinking. When her hands went still while peeling potatoes, or seasoning the meat, she re-lived how alive and totally whole she suddenly felt. She then found herself staring into the distance, her mouth curving upwards in a far away smile, her hands still, remembering what it had felt like to hold onto Dave’s back, as they had stood together trying to make sense of what was happening. Where there was really no sense to be made. They were both adults. Not star struck teenagers?

That Monday evening was to set the tone for the future. Acting normally, answering sensibly and caring as usual for all of Kevin and Bryan’s needs, running on autopilot when she had been with Dave. Kevin also, as expected, followed his normal routine, eating everything on his plate, demolishing seconds, then disappearing to play his seemingly endless games on the PC.

Bryan’s needs too, did not change. A story. A bit of a tickle. Listening to his stories of his friends at pre-school. Getting him bathed and into his pyjamas, a good night kiss for him from Kevin, and then into bed. Then Catie’s mind again went back to the newest delight in her life, as it had the weekend. She also tried once again to sternly admonish herself to end what was happening before it became too late to do so. But that admonishment was quite a bit weaker than it should and she firmly shut out her inner voice which was strongly warning her to do what she knew was right.

How could she? When what was busy happening was so necessary in her life. And which seemed to actually be giving her a new lease on life. Everything seemed brighter. More beautiful. Clearer. Everything was changed positively by the feeling taking over Catie’s heart.

And so the scene was set. Little did Catie and Dave know it, but for the coming six years. Absolutely normal at work, with only a meeting at the Tennis courts every day after work. It was the most difficult thing not to reveal at work how she was feeling. Melting. Glowing. Anticipating. And then finally meeting. Kissing. Touching. Inhaling every last bit of Dave’s smell. Not just his toiletries. His own special, unique man smell. Tasting his mouth and his neck. They kissed, And held. And whispered. And spoke quite a lot. They really started knowing other more than superficially, than they had at work. And the more Catie learned about Dave, the more she wanted to know. About his school days. About his University days. Even about his marriage. It all seemed to draw her closer to him, knowing his thoughts, his feelings and his life away from the office. His life apart from her. Dave and his wife’s marriage seemed to be similar to her own marriage. His wife too, had not noticed the tremendous difference in him. They both fell silent for a few moments when discussing this. Their developing feelings for each other made such a huge difference in their lives. Yet their official ‘significant other life partners’ noticed nothing.

While talking, because the time they could meet was limited, due to their commitments, Catie and Dave managed to maintain touch with each other. Whether it be only entwining their hands or just dropping soft kisses on each other, it happened without conscience thought. It felt as if this was all that counted, even while discussing the other parts of their lives. It was ordained. Meant to be. How could this absolutely wonderful thing that was happening, be wrong. It was how a man and woman meant for each other were meant to feel. It was what was missing in their lives. It was how falling deeply in love began.

And analytical Miss Catie didn’t think of the hurt the other people in their lives would feel if their secret was ever revealed. Neither did Dave. Catie’s inner voice was suppressed in this time too. The voice of reason which was trying valiantly to be heard. Which was totally ignored. In later years when Catie thought about not thinking about the other parties involved, it seemed totally unreal. How could they not have thought about it? Yet she knew that their not being together, could not have happened either. It was fated to be.