Silent Strings

Chapter 10

As Jackson made his way back to his office, he couldn’t shake the image of her laughing with Kassian. The sound of her voice, the way her face lit up—it was haunting him.

What the hell am I doing?

For the first time in years, Jackson felt like he was on the outside looking in. And he hated it.

Jackson’s feet carried him aimlessly down the hall, but his mind was nowhere near the hospital. His thoughts swirled in a maddening loop—Ines, her laugh, the way she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He wasn’t a stranger to obsession, but this…this was something else entirely.

Why does it bother me so much?

She was free to laugh with Kassian—or anyone, for that matter. She was free to live her life however she wanted. He had no claim on her, not anymore.

And yet, the thought of her finding comfort or joy with someone else burned him like an open wound. He ran a hand through his hair, the frustration bubbling up inside him.

“Jackson!”

He jerked out of his thoughts to find Athy standing in front of him, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. Her usual aura of calm was overshadowed by a look of amused concern.

“What?” he muttered, blinking at her like he’d forgotten she existed.

Athy tilted her head, studying him with the precision of someone who knew him too well. “You’ve been pacing the same twenty feet for the last five minutes. Care to share what’s going on, or are you just trying out a new cardio routine?”

“I—” He hesitated, realizing she was right. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been pacing, his feet dragging him back and forth as his thoughts spiraled. “It’s nothing.”

Athy’s skeptical gaze sharpened. “That’s a lie. You’ve got that face on.”

“What face?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“The ‘I’m overthinking and will deny it to my grave’ face,” she said, her voice light but her expression serious. “Come on, Ahia. Spill. Who’s got you twisted up this time?”

Jackson groaned, leaning his head against the wall behind him. “Why do you always assume it’s someone? Maybe I’m just…tired.”

“Because you’re Jackson Athanasius Huáng,” she quipped, waving a hand dramatically. “The guy who’s never too tired for anything, yet somehow always gets weird when it comes to the people he cares about.”

Her words hit closer to home than he wanted to admit. He shoved his hands into his pockets, staring at the floor like it held all the answers. “It’s not a big deal.”

Athy’s silence was louder than any retort. When he glanced at her, she was giving him the look—the one that said she wasn’t buying his nonsense.

“Fine,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair again. “It’s Ines.”

Athy’s lips twitched, a knowing smile threatening to break through. “Of course it is.”

“Don’t start.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You’re thinking it,” he shot back, pointing a finger at her.

Athy chuckled, leaning against the wall beside him. “So, what did she do this time? Or should I ask what you did?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, though the defensiveness in his tone betrayed him. “It’s just…she’s been busy. We haven’t talked much. I saw her laughing with Kassian earlier, and I—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

Athy’s smile faded, replaced by a gentler expression. “It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you. And you mentioned Gege?”

Jackson hesitated, the vulnerability of her statement catching him off guard. He wasn’t used to talking about feelings—not like this, not with anyone.

“I just…” He exhaled, his shoulders slumping. “I feel like I’m watching her slip further away, and there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s there, right in front of me, but I can’t reach her.”

Athy didn’t respond immediately, letting his words settle in the air. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. “Maybe you’re trying too hard to reach her the way you think she needs you to. Have you considered just…being there for her? Quietly?”

Jackson frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Athy said patiently, “that you don’t always have to fix things, Ahia. Sometimes people just need to know you’re there when they’re ready.”

He wanted to argue, to tell her she didn’t understand—but deep down, he knew she was right.

As Athy walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts, Jackson leaned back against the cold wall, tipping his head to stare at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights above cast a sterile glow, but his mind was far from the bright halls of the hospital.

Be there for her, quietly.

The words repeated in his head like a mantra he didn’t know how to follow. It grated against everything he was, everything he knew. Jackson Athanasius Huáng doesn’t wait—he acts. If something needed fixing, he fixed it. If someone he cared about was in pain, he pulled them out of it, whether they wanted him to or not. It was how he showed love, how he proved his worth.

But with Ines, none of it seemed to work.

He closed his eyes, her face flashing unbidden in his mind. That smile she’d given Kassian earlier, the one he hadn’t seen in years—it wasn’t just the smile that haunted him, but the way it lit up her entire face. She looked…happy. Content. And the sharp sting of jealousy hit him square in the chest.

Why can’t I be the one to make her laugh like that?

He hated how petty it sounded, even in his head. But the feeling gnawed at him, stubborn and relentless. He didn’t just want to make her laugh. He wanted her to feel safe with him, to trust him with the things she kept buried. He wanted to know the parts of her she refused to show anyone else.

And yet, she kept him at arm’s length. Always.

His hand clenched into a fist at his side, the frustration threatening to boil over. He’d been patient—or as patient as he could manage. He’d given her space and tried not to push too hard, but it wasn’t enough. She still didn’t trust him.

What did Kassian do that I didn’t?

The thought twisted like a knife in his gut. He knew it wasn’t fair—Kassian was her friend, someone who probably reminded her of simpler times. But knowing that didn’t stop the irrational envy that bubbled up inside him.

Jackson exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair.

He wanted to talk to her so badly it physically ached. Every time he saw her, he had to fight the urge to pull her aside, to demand answers to the questions swirling in his head. Why did you leave without telling me? Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you let me help you when you were struggling?

And, the question he didn’t dare ask: Why did you let me believe I didn’t matter to you?

Because that’s what it came down to, didn’t it? No matter how much he told himself it was about her well-being, about wanting to make sure she was okay, the truth was far more selfish. He needed to know he mattered to her, that the years they’d spent together hadn’t just been a convenient arrangement for her.

That he hadn’t been as disposable to her as he sometimes feared.

He let out another sigh, pushing off the wall and shoving his hands into his pockets. The corridor stretched endlessly ahead of him, but his feet refused to move. For the first time in his life, Jackson felt utterly helpless.

Be there for her, quietly.

It sounded so simple, but the reality of it was crushing. How could he stand by and do nothing when every fiber of his being screamed at him to act?

The answer was bitter and cold: because this wasn’t about him.

She didn’t need him barging into her life, demanding to know her secrets. She didn’t need his solutions or his meddling. What she needed—what she deserved—was someone who would let her come to them when she was ready.

Even if that meant waiting.

Even if it killed him.

He forced his feet to move, each step heavier than the last. The hospital buzzed with life around him, but it all felt distant, unimportant. His mind was still on her—on the way she’d smiled at Kassian, on the quiet walls she’d built around herself, on the maddening pull she had on him.

Ines. Always Ines.

As he turned the corner, the weight of his thoughts pressed down on him, making his chest ache. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this—this waiting, this hoping. But he knew one thing for certain.

For her, he’d try.

Even if it destroyed him in the process.