Abuse To Love

Chapter 2 Kelsey

I arrived back home around four o'clock in the afternoon. I only had a couple of hours to get dinner done before Tommy got home. I get all the groceries put away and start on dinner. I decided to make his favorite steak and potatoes with a side of salad with apple pie for dessert. I was pulling the steaks from the grill when I heard the garage open and his car pull in. I quickly ran to the kitchen to grab the plates and set the table. I am just finishing with placing the plates when the door opens.

“What smells good?” I hear him ask from the hallway to the garage. He sounds happy so hopefully the rest of his day went well. “I made your favorite.” I say as he walks into the kitchen in his teal colored scrubs with the hospital's logo on it in small print on the left side of his chest, and Dr. Banks underneath it.

He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waste. “I am so hungry, it has been a long day.” He kisses the back of my head. It is these moments that I love. That I see the man he can be. A part of me hopes that he can be that man all the time. Not the awful monster he can be when he is mad, especially when he is drinking. We have had our worst fights when he has drunk too much whiskey. Bourbon that was his poison, any time I see him grab the bottle on the weekends I do my best to not piss him off.

I finish setting the table and we sit down to eat. “How was your day today?” I ask him. He doesn’t look up from his plate. “It was good until I got a call that you were in the emergency room.” He says with a scowl on his face. “Shut up Kelsey, what are you doing?” I think to myself. “You know that pissed him off now change the subject quickly.” “Again I am so sorry for that honey. How was the surgery?” He loves talking about work. Hopefully this will take his mind somewhere else.

“It went well, amazing actually.” I hear the tone change in his voice and I could tell we were headed in a good direction now. “Surgery went smooth as always and I left the patient feeling good as new. My lines were clean and there should not be much of a scar.” He was always so proud at how well everything healed on his patients. He has seen some where the scarring was so bad there was not much he could do to fix it. If only he took as good of care of me as he did his patients. We would be in a whole different place right now and I wouldn't have to feel like I am always walking on eggshells around him.

He helps me clear the table and he heads off to shower while I do the dishes. The night seems to be going well which is a relief. This last week has been rough. As I am doing the dishes I find myself thinking about Jaxon. How had I never met him in school? He was my age, we had to know some of the same people. He was absolutely gorgeous, I would remember him if I had met him. I pull myself from my thoughts when I hear the shower upstairs in our bedroom shut off. I dry my hands and head up the stairs.

As I walk into our large master bedroom I realize I had forgotten to make the bed before leaving. “s**t!” I mumble under my breath. He has to have already seen it. I quickly make the bed and walk into our walk-in closet to grab my dark blue silk nightgown. Hopefully this will have him not so mad at me. He loves when I wear these and it's his favorite color. I hear his electric razor turn on and the sink running. I pick up his work clothes and place them in the white hamper in the corner of our closet. I notice there is still blood on the dresser from when I fell. I go and grab a wet rag to clean it up.

When I come back Tommy is laying in bed in his matching dark blue pajama pants. He is clean shaved, smells like pine, wet hair slicked back and the top part of his abs peeking above the blankets. He was very popular in school, I cannot believe I ended up with him. He was drooling over Amy Houser, the head cheerleader at Cresent High School. “I wonder why he did not end up with her? I am definitely not as good looking as she is” I think to myself.

“Are you just going to stand there staring or come to bed?” Tommy asks me, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Yes sorry, let me just go wash my face and brush my teeth.”

I grab the teal colored toothbrush off the counter and quickly brush my teeth then go climb in bed. I start to think about Jaxon again as I drift off to sleep.

I find myself dreaming about Jaxon. I was very startled by this. Why would I be thinking about him right now? I had only met him once. For some reason I was out on a date with him. He took me to the beach and we laid in the warm sand together talking away about our childhood. We had so much in common and he was so sweet and gentle.

“What was your favorite memory from growing up?” I hear him ask me while he sits there leaned back with his hands in the sand looking at me with those perfect green eyes. He was wearing khaki shorts that went to his knees with a red and black striped tank top. I find myself staring at him looking at him head to toe. His broad shoulders with his perfectly tanned skiing. I could ever so slightly see his abs through his tight shirt. By looking at him you could tell he was burly. Almost scary but he was a big teddy bear on the inside. Unlike Tommy he was very burly and a monster, not a bear but a monster.

“Kelsey?” says Jaxons pulling me from my thoughts.

“S-sorry.” I say, I can feel my face heating up so I know I am blushing. I attempt to hide my face but he sees it before I can.

“You are adorable.” He says with a smirk on his face. I can tell he is having way too much fun with this. “I have to say my favorite memory would be with my dad before he passed away.” I say as I look out over the ocean. “We would go to town every Friday for coffee at the local coffee shop. He would get a mocha and I would get a hot chocolate. They made theirs with milk so it always tasted so good.” I feel tears coming to my eyes as I remember the memory. “I miss him so much, I think about him all the time.” I say as a single tear falls down my face.

“How did he pass? If you don't mind me asking.” He says with concern on his face.

“Cancer,” I say, “ He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when I was ten years old. He passed away that Christmas.” I could not hold the tears back any longer, I just let them fall down my cheeks. All of a sudden I feel his thumb touch my face and I flinch out of habit. I see his concern turn to sadness. He reaches for me again and wipes the tears from my cheeks. He then places his hands on each side of my face and pulls me closer to him. Not hard but slow and gentle.

I can feel my heart thumping in my chest, my breathing increases. Before I have time to pull away out of fear I feel his soft lips on mine. I can feel the love behind his kiss. I have never felt this before. When Tommy kissed me it was always rough and full of lust. There was no love behind those kisses, not since our wedding. But this was full of passion, and love. There was no lust there that I could tell. I feel his hands in my hair as he kisses me deeply. I find myself kissing him back, feeling safe and a warm feeling in my stomach.

As the kissing intensifies I notice his hands start to wander lower and lower. Soon his hands are on my waist and he is pulling me onto his lap. As I slide onto his lap I can feel him beneath me. I find myself smiling a little, I have never been very confident in myself but this makes me happy. He is clearly very attracted to me, Tommy was never like this. I always had to do things first, we had to have several minutes of foreplay before he would get hard enough to have s*x. It always made me feel like I was not attractive enough. He always blamed me for the lack of spark.

I am pulled from my thoughts as he slowly runs his hands up and down my thighs. His hands move to the top of my white shorts, he kisses me harder as he undoes the button and zipper. His hands then travel under my white blouse and under my black lace bra to cup both my breasts in his hands. He begins to squeeze them lightly, playing with them. I feel a warmth in my belly that I had not felt in a long time as I become aroused by his soft touch.

I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. I couldn’t really believe it; I was doing this. I was married, what am I doing. But I just kept going. I unbuttoned his shorts and pulled his hard length out. I held him and put him in. He felt deeper in me. I’ll never forget it. It felt amazing, more amazing than anything I had ever felt. He matched my speed as I rode him faster and faster. I held his hands down. He pretended he was trying to break free. I let my t**s touch his face. He went mad, he started to go harder moving his hips up into me. I pushed down. I couldn’t believe it, I couldn't believe how natural it felt, how well we fit together. He flipped me over onto my back with one swift motion, and then flipped me to my stomach. He took me from behind. I pushed back, forced more of him into me. A moan slipped from my mouth.

I was pulled from the dream by someone ripping me out of bed by my long chocolate brown hair. I scream out in pain as I hear Tommy’s voice.

“Who the hell’s name are you moaning?” He barks out in anger. I look up to see his dark black eyes, an endless black hole of anger. He is pissed, what the hell did I say in my sleep?

“Who the f**k is Jaxon?” He yells in my face as he throws me against the wall. The last thing I remember is him letting go of my hair as I was flung into the wall. Then nothing after my head smashed into the wall. Nothing but black darkness overtook me as I lay on the floor of our master bedroom.