Abuse To Love

Chapter 5 Kelsey

“Hello dear.” Dani says as she pulls the cinnamon rolls from the oven. “How are you feeling? Are you hungry?” She asks with a grin on her face.

“Starving.” I replied to her. “I feel a lot better now that I have had a shower and could put some clean clothes on.” I said to her as I looked around the kitchen. I was astounded by its beauty. Her home looks like it was plucked out of a western movie. The cabinets were rustic, looking gray with gray and white marble countertops. All the appliances were stainless steel as was the sink. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen, which is where I sat talking with Dani. There were six stools lining down the island which were black, and the floors were rustic gray linoleum. There was a chandelier that hung over the middle of the island with crystals on it. The crystals cast rainbows all around the room from the sun, light shining through the large window behind the kitchen sink, which looked out down towards the barn, like my room did.

“So tell me how did things come to this? What is your story? If you don’t mind me asking.” Says Dani with a look of concern on her face.

“Well it started about five years ago.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I told her about the first night he hurt me. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

“That is awful, I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is never easy when the person who is supposed to love and protect you and make you feel so special makes you feel unwanted and in danger.”

I take a deep breath, trying to swallow the lump in my throat again while also fighting back tears.

“I felt so heart broken, scared, and I had so much anxiety. I still do to this day. It is a lot worse now. I was worried, I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was going to come up with the strength to leave. In a way I guess I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap and left Lincoln with Jaxon.” I could not fight it anymore and just let the tears fall. Dani made her way around the island and wrapped her arms around and pulled me into a hug as I cried. She smelled like the lavender soap in the shower that I used. I found it oddly calming as the lavender hit my nose. I could feel my heart slow and the lump disappear out of my throat.

“You should never allow someone to abuse you whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally just because you love and care for them.” Dani says as she lets go of me. I wipe the tears from my face and so does she as Jaxon enters the house.

“Well it looks like you ladies have been having fun.” He says sarcastically when he sees both our tear stained faces.

“We were just talking and getting to know each other.” Says Dani as she walks to the counter to stir the pot roast in the crockpot. As she lifts the lid I get a whiff of the roast and it smells amazing. I could feel saliva pooling in my mouth. Jaxon nods and takes a seat on the stool next to mine.

“I will be leaving first thing in the morning. I have to get back to Lincoln before my shift tomorrow.” He says with a slight grin on his face. “I should be back in the next couple of weeks. I already reached out to a buddy here in Lakeview who can get me a job in the city at the local doctors office.”

Jaxon looks over at me. “Would you like to join me in the living room so we can talk?” He asks me with a look of concern on his face.

“Sure.” I say as I get up from the stool and walk with him into the living area to sit in a love seat in front of the fireplace.

Jaxon sighs and looks at me, his beautiful green eyes looking into my soul. One could get lost in such eyes. “I will do what I can to keep you safe Kelsey.” He says with a serious look on his face.

“I appreciate the things that you have done for me. More than you know Jaxon.” I say with a meek grin on my face. “I don't know where I would be if you had not gotten me out of there last night. I did not think I would ever escape him.”

“Kelsey, you are an amazing woman. I know I have only known you a few days but talking with you I feel like we have been friends forever, and you deserve so much better. What he did to you is not okay. I hope you know I would never hurt you like he did. As a friend I will always be here and I will do what I can to help you get back on your feet.”

For some reason my heart sank at the word “Friend.” What is wrong with me? I hardly knew the guy and I was getting upset at the fact that he called me his friend. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I sunk into the hug, feeling relaxed and safe for the first time in a long time.

“Kelsey.” I hear him say as I look up at him. He looked straight down into my eyes.

A question was in his eyes, and a smile formed on his lips. His hands moved to my face as he cupped it in his hands. His right hand moved closer to my mouth and traced the outline of my lips with his thumb.

I shivered at his touch, the shiver running down my spine. He waited staring into my eyes. I could feel my cheeks flushing red. He pulled me against him and kissed me. Our lips clung together softly at first, then with more urgency. He tasted like honey and I felt safe, this felt right. I sighed against his lips and felt a smile start to form on my lips. My hands moved into his hair, as I started to kiss him deeper when Dani walked into the room startling us.

“Oh, I am so sorry, am I interrupting something?” She says with a slight knowing grin on her face.

“N-No.” I stammer out my face as red as a lobster. “This is so embarrassing,” I think to myself. “What was I doing? I hardly knew the guy and now I am kissing him? What has gotten into me?”

“Do you need help in the kitchen?” I ask hoping she says yes so I can get away from him.

“If you would like, you can come help me peel some potatoes.” Dani says to me with a smile on her face. I jump up from the couch and follow her to the kitchen. I look back and notice Jaxon watching me as I walk away which makes my face flush even more.

I walk around the island to the sink to start washing the golden potatoes. “He would treat you well, you know.” I hear Dani say from behind me. I hear the front door close, hoping it was one of the ranch hands coming in to save me from this conversation. But then I see Jaxon walking down to the barn. “Damnit.” I whisper under my breath. “What was that?” Dani asks.

“Oh nothing, I almost dropped a potato in the sink.” I lie trying to change the route of this conversation.

“I know it's none of my business, but he would treat you well Kelsey. I practically raised that boy when his parents passed away. His mother and Iwere close friends even though she was older than me.”

“I am not ready for anything right now.” I reply to her as I finish washing the potatoes.

“You cannot just cut out relationships because of what you went through.” Says Dani. “Not everyone will treat you like that. Not all men are boys, I have seen that man with some pretty nasty girls who do not deserve him and let me tell you he is a very caring person.”

“I noticed.” I reply hoping this conversation will end. “I just don't want anything right now. I don't want my past to be a burden to anyone. I have massive trust issues and a heart that is so damaged from the abuse I have endured over the last 5 years I do not think I could ever love or be loved again. There are just too many skeletons in my closet. Who would want a broken woman like me?” I say with tears starting to form in my eyes. I try to hold them back but I cannot. My nose begins to burn and the tears start to fall. “I don't know if I will survive this, trying to heal is so hard.” I sob as the tears stream down my face.

“You survived the abuse Kelsey and you will survive the recovery. You are such a strong woman I know you can do this.” Dani says and she pulls me into another hug. “Now lets get these potatoes in the pot and get the water boiling so we can make some homemade mashed potatoes.” She says with a grin, I nod and help her carry the wet potatoes to the stove where we put them in the pot to soften.

“I will text Stan now and let him know that supper will be ready in about twenty minutes so he and the boys have enough time to get out of the field and come up to the house before dinner gets cold.” She pulls out her cell and types away letting Stan know that dinner was almost ready. I hear a ding as she receives a reply back. “They will be back in a few minutes once they finish closing up the fence in the north pasture. While we wait we start to set the table. There are 8 spots around the table, two for Stan and Dani, two for me and Jaxon, the other four must be for the ranch hands who would be joining us for supper.