The Delta's Cursed Mate

Fights and Threats

Reina’s POV

I know how hard it was for Leon, and I hated that I couldn’t make it better. I just… I couldn’t.

I wanted him to know me. I wanted that warmth, any sense of security I could find. I couldn’t go home, mostly because I had no idea where home was. I could vaguely remember small things about my pack, but most of it was blank. I knew I had parents and I came from a pack because I never felt like a rogue. I just didn’t feel connected to anything or anyone.

I remember waking up in the woods on the edge of Blackstone’s territory, and Alpha Jackson believing I would be a breeder for him. Emerald refused to be used. In fact, she had killed many of his Gamma members. She was ruthless. Uncontrollable. So, while he was in charge, I was held in the bunkers deep underground. When Alpha Jackson was killed, Benji took over and since there were no more guards, I broke out. Going to the only place close enough to lick my wounds and heal. After Benji saw that I had taken out his incredibly pathetic attempts of security cameras, he offered me the position of IT Specialist. One of the things I had always been good at was technology. I had lived in a world for hearing and not everyone was willing to learn a whole new language just for me.

I wanted to love Leon, the way he loved me. I could feel it. He was hurt and angry, but I just couldn’t give him that. I was empty and I had no idea why. My own fear of my wolf clouded over every other emotion.

I don’t know why you’re so afraid of me, I’ve never purposely hurt you. She scoffed.

Then tell me why we had to leave home. Where is home?

No. She cut our link and hid inside my mind.

I sometimes hated being a wolf. All the other wolves got along with their counterpart. They could control their shifts, and their wolf didn’t force them to hide in the shadows. My wolf hated everyone. Including Kane. She didn’t care that he smelled like almonds which I loved, or that he was only trying to love us. She didn’t trust anyone.

At night when Leon was asleep, I would walk to his side of the bed and just sit on the floor and watch him sleep. I knew his story; I knew everything about him. When Leon slept, his eyes would flutter about, and small whimpers escaped his lips. It hurt to think about how hard his life was. He had told me for months after coming home his father had locked him in the cells because he had night terrors and would wander around the territory, once he ended up with hypothermia.

I didn’t have nightmares. I didn’t dream. It was just darkness. I would blink and it would be morning again. It was lonely. Emerald never helped. I had heard of wolves giving their counterparts their own dreams to ease depression, but Emerald was… I wasn’t sure what she was. Just angry. After watching him sleep for three hours, I climbed back into the bed and blinked.

I felt Leon get out of the bed, and his eyes trail over my body. I didn’t move as he went to take a shower. When I was sure he was in the shower, I got dressed in black skinny jeans and a purple shirt. I loved purple. The one dress I had worn since meeting Leon, he had made sure it was purple. He was so thoughtful. I let my hair down and the waves I so wanted to cut hung down to my butt. I didn’t bother with make-up. I couldn’t remember if I knew how to wear it, and it didn’t matter. I would only sit in a room by myself all day anyway.

Ginger, I was wondering if I could join your therapy session today? Leon mind linked me.

Emerald growled. She didn’t think we were broken, mentally or physically. We were fine. No. We’re done with that s**t.

I inwardly sighed. I hated when she did that, but if I went over her head she would force us to shift and spend days in the forests and tundra. A forced shift hurt. Like all your bones breaking at the same time while on fire and drowning.

Emerald, I was talking to Reina.

I don’t give a f**k. I said no! She pushed herself forward.

I whimpered. I hated when they fought, but I was more afraid of what happened after.

Emerald grunted and flicked her tail in my mind. She wasn’t going to budge. I sighed again.

I walked out of my closet and found Leon sitting on the small couch in the bedroom. He looked defeated, and I wanted to run into his arms and tell him I hated it too, but I couldn’t. I looked between him and the door, knowing it was time for breakfast.

“What’s for breakfast, Ginger?” Leon signed, he really did try to talk to me, and he thought it was cool how I had a better sense of smell than the True Alpha.

I inhaled deeply, “Waffles, chocolate and blueberry, bacon, sausage, and eggs. Kiera just pulled her apple cinnamon croissants.” I signed back.

He smiled and held out his hand for me. He did it every day, and every day I longed to feel his skin on mine, but Emerald snapped inside my mind. I just looked at it and walked out the door. I felt Leon’s hurt through his mark and my heart ached.

He’s not worthy of us. He should be glad I allowed him to mark us.

Do you have to be so mean to him all the time?

I’ll do what I want, human. If you continue to question me, I will take over our body and stay in my true form. She growled.

I couldn’t risk that. If we stayed as a wolf, we would become feral and the only option for a feral wolf was death.

We made it down to breakfast, Leon motioned for me to sit down while he made my plate. I thought it was sweet how closely he had paid attention to me. He had learned the small things about me, things anyone who watched me could learn. Like how much I hated blueberries, and eggs. I would only drink coffee with lots and lots of creamer and sugar, and only fresh squeezed juice. Or that my favorite color was purple.

It felt nice telling him about the almond scent. It was the only scent that didn’t piss Emerald off, so I always assumed it was what home smelled like. She didn’t always growl at Leon when we scented him.

Kiera and Byron sat in front of us, while the Beta, Masen and his mate, Morgan, sat next to them. In Golden Sun, the Alpha and Luna sat in front of the entire pack. There were no tables behind us. We were the head of the pack. It was nice but felt wrong. I had seen different packs do different things with their dining room. At James’ territory, both packhouses had very large dining rooms, and both were first come first serve. Ranked or not. Either you get down for breakfast or make your own.

Leon set my plate in front of me and handed me my coffee knowing I would drink that first. I was always tired, between days of a forced shift and the four hours of sleep I usually got. Kiera looked sad today, and Leon didn’t try to make conversation.

I waved my hand in front of him to get his attention, “What’s going on?” I signed.

He just shook his head.

I furrowed my brow and grunted. I’m supposed to be your mate, I deserve to know.

He raised his eyebrow, Reina, drop it.

Emerald shot forward, pushing the chair hard behind us and letting out a growl. She didn’t like being told what to do.

Leon closed his eyes and stared down at his plate, Emerald if you are going to make a scene, just go.

My heart clenched. I knew he was tired of the tantrums; of the days and nights he would spend worrying about us. I was tired of it too, but I had no control of her.

Do not tell me what to do! She growled.

Emerald, please don’t fight. I pleaded with her. Just one day, please?

She huffed and forced our body out of the dining hall. We found our way to the large backyard.

Please not again, Emerald. Our body needs to rest, just one more day. Please? I felt my own tears fall from our eyes.

Weak human. Emerald shoved back and gave me control.

I turned back inside the house, not even hungry anymore. I made my way to the familiar couch of my therapist. She had given me full access to her spare office. This room was originally her office, so that she didn’t have to take her clients in the same room as she worked, but Leon made her give it up. Said I needed more space than just the couch in her meeting room. I hated that I took this from her.

The large room overlooked the forest that met with the tundra. If the sun hit just right, the entire forest would turn into a golden rainbow and the light would reflect from the snow and give the entire area a golden tint.

I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder I looked up to see my therapist, Dr. Danielle. She had blonde hair she kept in a ponytail, bright brown eyes, and an oval face. She was beautiful. Her smile always made me feel warm, and she never once judged me for my crazy wolf.

“Bad morning, Reina?” She signed perfectly.

I just nodded.

“Wanna talk about it?”

I shook my head. I wasn’t sure why I was here. I knew the consequences of going behind Emerald’s back. She said we were done, but I had nowhere else to go.

“Do you want to go through our exercises?”

I shook my head again, “I can’t be here anymore, Doctor. Emerald.”

She gave a sad smile. She knew how I felt about Emerald forcing the shifts, she also knew I had absolutely no control. Which was so weird. We were supposed to complement each other, but Emerald was my opposite. I wasn’t aggressive or cruel. I never did anything she didn’t like, but she had taken my memories and hidden things. She forced a shift and would spend days as a wolf, doing a lot of things she blocked from me. It’s as if she was the main soul and I was the counterpart.

“Reina, what do you know about magic?”

I shrugged my shoulders. Emerald wouldn’t be so upset, if I didn’t talk to her.

“Sometimes magic affects a wolf in ways it shouldn’t.”

I looked down at the floor. I couldn’t talk to her about my wolf. Emerald would know. She always knew. Even when I did the blocks Doc had taught me.

I stood to leave, but turned back to look at her, “Thank you for the help, doc.” I signed.

After leaving the office, I walked to Leon’s office. I could tell he was in there, along with Kiera and Masen. There was a different smell, two different scents mixed. They were mates, but I had never encountered them. Emerald had memorized each scent of everyone we met.

I knocked on the door before popping my head inside.

Not now, Ginger. I’ll come find you in a few moments. Leon mind linked me.

I left the office and went back to the bedroom. When I was human, I spent a lot of time in this room. I tried my best to avoid everyone just in case it set Emerald off. And she could be set off pretty easily. Once she forced a shift because a pup was crying because his friends threw a water balloon at him. The sound annoyed her, so she shifted, and we spent four days in the forest. After the weird pack naming thing with Alpha James and Luna Brea, she forced control for two whole days.

I curled on the couch and pulled the blanket over my legs. The sun had cast its glow inside the dark room, and it should have warmed me. I only felt cold. Ever. Always. Just cold and empty.

I hate being a werewolf.