Regrets Part I

Savannah Grace - Getting back to normal

Junior year passes on as normal although it seems all wrong. It's October which means basketball tryouts are soon. Brayden has still been MIA, he's missed so much school that he doesn't qualify to even try out for the team. I just don't understand, he loves basketball. I guess I won't be going to the games this year. I thought we would be together this year, holding hands through the halls. I really did love him, part of me still does. I'm not sure that I'll ever get over this.

Jackson has been great helping me through this. It's nice having someone to talk to who actually understands. I've talked to the girls about it but I'm not sure that any of them, besides Micaela, has ever actually been in love before. Micaela has had the same boyfriend for years. They have their fights but always end up making up, this heartbreak is different.

Homeroom is over, which was kind of a blur for me anyway. Some days are better than others, today is one of the not so great ones for some reason. I walk into first period and take my seat in front of Jackson.

"Good morning" he asks me, a look of concern on his face. "Are you OK? you seemed a little off in homeroom".

"I guess, today is just one of the bad days for some reason. Probably the fact that basketball tryouts are coming up soon and that always makes me think of him. He won't even be able to try out this year. He loves basketball."

"I know... I think he's going through something. I'm not sure he even cares about anything anymore. Those kids he's hanging out with aren't helping any".

"True, hopefully he'll find his way back before it's too late."

"I hope so. Hey, are you busy this weekend? Do you want to get together?"

"Sure. No plans, I do need to go to the mall, I was going to see if my mom could take me but if you don't mind, maybe we could go together and head over to the food court for dinner?"

"Yeah, I can take you. pick you up Saturday around 2? Would that give you enough time?"

"Sounds good. I have to go to two stores but we can always just walk around for a while."

"Whatever is fine with me" he says as the teacher walks in. I admit that it's nice actually having plans for a change. Since this summer and Brayden, my social calendar has really opened up. It seems like everyone has stuff going on, it's been a few weeks since the girls have gotten together. Seeing everyone making plans bums me out. Brayden and I should be making plans, going on dates, hanging out.

I turn towards the front, open my math notebook and listen to today's lesson.

After school, I hop into my mom's car. Another week down and I've survived another week without Brayden. That's an accomplishment for sure.

"How was your day?" my mom asks as I close her car door and buckle my seat belt.

"It was fine." I know that's a lie but I didn't feel like getting into it right now. "I know you were going to take me to the mall tomorrow but would it be OK if Jackson took me instead?"

"Jackson? As in Brayden's friend Jackson?" she gives me a look.

"Yes mom but it's not like that. We're just friends. He's really been there for me through this whole Brayden thing."

"Ok, yeah, if you're sure, that's fine with me. "

"Thanks mom" I reply as we had home.

I walk through the door, grab a snack and head up to my room. Mom will be in the kitchen getting dinner ready, dad is still at work, and the brothers are in the bonus room playing video games as usual. My phone pings signaling that I have a text. It's from Jackson. I open it up and read it:

"Looking forward to hanging out with you tomorrow!" That's interesting. I've never gotten anything like this from Jackson, he seems... I don't know, overly excited. I wonder what that could mean? It's probably just my imagination going wild again. I simply reply with a smiley face, close my phone and lay down on my bed. It has been an exhausting week. More than usual for some reason. I start thinking about everything that's going on in my life right now and before I know it, I've drifted to sleep.