Regrets Part I

Brayden - January

Game day is finally here. I made the JV team and we have been working so hard preparing for the first game of the season. We're good, I just hope we are good enough! Millridge is a good team but I'm hoping we're better. It's my first high school basketball game and it's a home game at that. I'm thankful for that, I don't need the distraction of being on the other team's court and hearing their boos.

"Hey man, ready for the game tonight?" Mitch asks. He is the captain of the JV team and has really helped me up my game.

"Sure am, I can't wait!"

"You'll do great, you've come a long way in the past few weeks"

"Thanks man, I'll see you out there"

I head over to my locker to get my books for my first couple of classes. Since Jackson's locker is three down from mine, we often meet up there sometimes by pure coincidence. Today was one of those days.

"Hey Brayden! I haven't seen you much"

"Yeah, sorry about that, I've been so busy between school and basketball practice. Are you coming to the game tonight?"

"Of course! I'll be sure to get a seat with your family so you'll have a whole cheering section. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm nervous, first high school game and all, but I think I'm ready"

"Are you sure that's all it is? You've really seemed distracted for months and I'm starting to get the feeling it isn't all about basketball. C'mon, we've been friends for years, you know you can tell me anything."

"Well... there is one thing... There's this girl... Pretty sure she's a freshman too but she looks just like Sandra Bullock and I cannot get her out of my head. She's gorgeous but I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know who I am. I'm trying to focus on basketball and school but I can't get her out of my mind."

"Wow, I had no idea. I remember you mentioning something about a girl looking like Sandra Bullock but I didnt know what effect she had on you. Point her out to me next time. I'm not really sure who you're talking about. Is she in any of your classes?"

"Nah, I've just seen her in the hallways before"

"You should talk to her!"

"I doubt she would even care. She's too pretty, I don't deserve someone like her. I just have to shake her out of my mind and focus on the game... Don't look now but here she comes." Jackson looks nonchalantly over his shoulder.

"Wow, you're right man, she's pretty." I sighed. Maybe in another lifetime

"Well, I better be going, if I'm late to homeroom, Mr. Allen is going to kill me! See you at the game tonight!"

School is over and I head to the gym to change and start warming up. I can get in a little practice now before going out and grabbing a light dinner with the team. The game doesn't start until 7 so we have a few hours to chill. Most of the team is in the locker room when I get in and Coach is giving one of his speeches

"Don't let Millridge overwhelm you. They are good but you boys have been working hard, I think we have a real chance at winning this thing. For some of you, I know this is your first high school game. Don't let your nerves get to you. In the end, it's just a game. Go out there tonight and have fun. Win or lose we can always come back."

That's one thing I really like about Coach Wittingly, he's always looking out for his players. Of course he wants to win but he cares more about the health and safety of his players than he does about another title.

We break after our pre game meeting we practice a little then all head out to dinner. We decide to meet at the Subway down the street and have something light. I think this is mainly just a chance for all of us to get together, shake off some nerves and pump each other up before the game. I get a turkey sandwich with some veggies and sit down in our corner. I listen to the older guys talk about Millridge and give some pointers on their game. I soak it all in, I need to learn as much from these guys this year as I can. Next year, they'll probably move on to Varsity so I try to pull as much knowledge from them as possible while they are still here. With any luck, I'll be good enough to make it to Varsity as a Sophomore but I'm not counting on that.

It's game time! We are in the locker room waiting and I can just feel the stands filling up, I can hear the excitement of the students and parents as they gear up to watch us play. We walk out onto the court and over to the bench for one last pep talk from Coach. I reach the bench, look up and freeze. "No. no no no no" I think. This is not good. She is here... She is watching me play. I wouldn't have taken her for a basketball fan but here she is with her girlfriends talking and smiling before the game begins. How can I concentrate knowing she'll be watching me. Ok, maybe not just me but she's here. I scan the crowd and see Jackson and my family and decide to try to focus on them instead. But her. She's here. This is not going to be good.

This is the worst game of my life and she's seeing it. She doesn't know me, she doesn't know that this isn't normally how I play. I can't do anything right. I try to shoot the ball and miss every time. I can't count the times I've gotten the ball stolen from me only to have the other team score. I'm so grateful that we have a strong team despite me being off my game because my teammates are really picking up my slack. Thankfully we end up winning, no thanks to me, but just barely.

After the game Mitch comes up to me.

"It's alright, man, happens to everyone. You should have seen me at my first high school game, I was a mess! It'll get better!" I give him a grateful smile.

Coach walks into the locker room.

"Great game boys! It was a close one but we pulled it off! Great teamwork. I'm proud of all of you" he says as he glances my way. I wish I could shrink into a pile. I know he's not mad at me but I'm mad at myself. How could I have let the team down like this? This isn't me, this isn't how I play. How could I have let her get into my head like this? No girl has ever effected me this way before. I knew she was special but I just didn't know how much at that time.