Regrets Part I

Savannah Grace - The Breakup

The last week of summer break was jam packed with fun with Mary being in town. There's never a dull moment with her. She left to go back to Virginia this weekend and I started preparing to go back to school. Junior year already. I can't believe I'm already halfway through high school. This is the year I'm going to have to start applying to colleges!

Sunday night, I'm absolutely giddy. Tomorrow is the first day of school and I get to see Brayden every day. Not only do we have homeroom and Audio Production together again this year we also discovered that we are in the same math class together! I carefully look through my closet trying to pick out the perfect outfit. I want it to make a statement without seeming like I'm trying to hard. This really wasn't for the first day of school, it was more for Brayden anyway. I picked out one of his favorite dresses on me, paired it with some simple silver sandals, I even laid out my earrings for the next day too. Ok, I think I'm ready, backpack all packed up and outfit ready to go. I think to myself as I crawl into bed. I know I won't be able to sleep but I at least have to try. I get to see him first thing in the morning, I'm so excited.

The next morning, I jump out of bed, put my clothes on and head downstairs for breakfast. I can hardly contain my excitement.

"You look happy this morning" my mom commented as I join my brothers at the table.

"Just ready to get back into a routine" I say but she's not buying it.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Brayden now does it"

"Maybe just a little" I say as I pour myself a bowl of cereal.

I'm the first one in the car, ready to go. I should get my license in a few months so my mom won't have to worry about driving me to school, just my 2 brothers. We pull up to the high school, I jump out, wave goodbye to my mom and brothers and head towards the building. I know I'm early but I want to get seats in homeroom for Brayden and I. Ok, and Jackson too. I stare eagerly at the door when I see it open and Brayden walk through. I'm so excited that I can't contain myself. I run into the hallway and fling my arms around him giving him the biggest hug and a kiss right on his lips. I didn't care who saw us.

He sets me back down on the floor and says, "We need to talk".

Oh no, I hate those words and by the look on his face, this isn't going to be good, my heart sinks. "Ok" I reply. He jumped right in, I didn't even get a hello.

"I don't think this is working:"

Tears immediately spring to my eyes. I didn't see this coming. I try to hold them back, I don't want to cry in front of him. "W-why?" I managed to get out.

"I've just got too much going on. It's just not a good time, I'm sorry".

I turn around in a daze and head back into the studio and take my seat. I've never really been broken up with before, I've always been the one doing the breaking up. And I surely haven't ever been broken up with by someone I was genuinely in love with. I don't like this feeling at all. My first real love and my heart gets shattered into a million pieces. How am I going to face him in math class?

After the bell rings signaling the end of homeroom, I make my way to the bathroom. I dab my eyes, take a look at myself in the mirror and mentally stable myself for math class. Once I've composed myself, I head out the door and down the hall. He was already in class as was most of the rest of class. I managed to make it in just before the bell rang to start class. I slip into the only seat that's available which happened to be the one 2 desks down from Brayden. I try not to look at him but I can't help sliding a glance at him from now and then. I don't know why I do this to myself because every time I look at him, my heart breaks a little more. This is torture. From here on out, I'm going to have to make sure I get to this class a little earlier so I can be sure to get a seat a little further away from him or else I don't know how I'll be able to concentrate for the rest of the year. How am I going to face him in Audio Production class? We are all so hands on, it's kind of hard to avoid someone.

At lunch, I go sit at my normal table. I've been trying to split my time between the girl's table and Jackson and Brayden's table.

"I see it's our turn today" Rachel says, "I feel honored that we got the first day of school, to what do we owe that pleasure?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Brayden and I broke up" I try to say as nonchalantly as possible.

"What?" Micaela responds "I thought you guys were totally in love? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" I lied, "just starving!" We eat in silence for a few minutes before Amelia starts the conversation back up.

"I think we should have a back to school sleepover!"

"That's a great idea!" Christina chimes in, "I can see if we can do it at my place if you guys want." We all nod in agreement.

"They'll be nothing like Mary's sleepovers but it should still be fun!" Rachel adds.

"Let's look and see which weekends we are all free and I'll ask my mom if it would be ok if we took over the bonus room again." Just then, the bell rings signalling the end of lunch. Only one more period sits between Brayden and I. I sigh, get up and throw my stuff away, say goodbye to the girls and walk out of the cafeteria. I'm glad they were busy talking about the sleepover and not really paying much attention to me.

"Hey, wait up" Rachel calls to me as she catches up to me on my way to my next class.

"Hey Rachel"

"Are you really ok? I know how much you liked him. I can't believe he waited a year and a half to talk to you then broke up with you just like that."

"I'll survive, it was rough hearing it but I've got to move on."

"Did he say why?"

"He said that now just wasn't the time and that our schedules are so different. I don't know, something has been off with him lately. I hardly saw him at all over the summer."

"I remember you saying that last week when Mary was here. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Rachel" I say as I give her a hug, "I should probably get going but I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure, don't stress about it, it's his loss!"

I smile, "Thanks" as I walk towards my class. I really do have great friends I think to myself as I'm climbing the stairs for dance class.

Seventh period comes and thankfully Jackson is being my buffer. I guess Brayden told him what happened and he tried to make things as less awkward as possible which was nice. Those two periods are the longest ones I've ever had to sit through and usually I love audio. Even before Brayden and I started talking, I looked forward to this class every day. Now he's taken that away from me. I plan on being in this class for the next two years so that means I'll have to see him every day. I'm not sure my heart can handle that.