The Death Kingdom

Chapter Two

"What are you talking about?" I shoot back, my glare hardening on Atwood's annoyingly handsome face. Even with age, he hasn't lost his appeal and he tends to know it too.

"Fynn and Akita are needed here when not meeting with you to gather what information you've learned. They have more responsibilities here than you do Saige." He talks to me like he's scolding me for misbehaving. "You've always been the best at extracting information when you need it and I want to put those skills to good use."

I try not to think about how I'm good at extracting information because I'm bloodthirsty and the people I interrogate know it too.

"I'm no spy Atwood," I quip back, frustration growing inside me. "I'll be imprisoned before I can finish my first day."

"You'll have a few days to go over tips and trick from our spymaster—"

"Why don't you just send him in?" I question.

Atwood gives me a sorry gaze, his features softening.

The King likes to hire young attractive females to be his servants. I know this and yet I still want to argue.

I let out a long breath of air and cross my arms over my chest. "The chances of me returning are slim to none."

"Yes." He doesn't deny it, he just stands there and studies my face.

I get the feeling he's doing this on purpose. Like at last he's found a way to test my loyalty and wants to see what I decide. If I'll agree to risk it all for the rebellion or not.

I want to say it isn't fair, but he's given me a whole year to figure it out. Normally, I wouldn't even hold a position like the one I have because I haven't claimed my undying loyalty, but I happen to be so good at what I do Atwood let it slide this one time.

I understand why it's necessary to have squad members willing to die for their cause. It's because if we ever get captured Atwood needs to rely on the fact that we won't give up the location of our camp and send a thousand people to be slaughtered.

I'm surprised Atwood hasn't forced my hand sooner, but damn if I wish he would've held off even longer.

I'm not sure what it is, why I'm not fully committed. Fynn and Akita are both tied in forever and yet even though I consider myself a part of their family, I still don't have quite the same beliefs.

I'm not sure if it's about the fact my father is off as a part of the king's military fighting in the war against the neighboring Kingdom of Valterra or something else.

After my mother passed away from illness when I was fifteen my father was forced to do the one thing he could do to provide for me without the additional income my mother brought in, and that was to join the King's military and fight in the war.

Eventually, he'll come back, especially if he becomes too injured to continue fighting, and I don't know what I would do then. He has no idea I've joined the rebellion and believes I still live in our little ramshackle house down by the river.

He still writes to me whenever he can and I have a routine where once a week I travel back to the city and head to the post to see if there's a letter. It's something I look forward to every week and I try not to get too excited when I go, but I can't help myself.

I haven't seen my dad in a year and a half and I miss him like crazy. We've always been close, I'm my father's daughter in most aspects of my life. I always had more in common with my father than my mother, but I've always loved them fiercely and know they've loved me with that same fierceness.

I also don't know if maybe it has nothing to do with my father at all and everything to do with my fears. I have no desire to die, I want to live a long life and find a way to be happy for most of it even if that's nearly impossible here. If it makes me selfish that I have a strong will to live to see another day then I'll gladly take that title.

But there are days when I hate myself for it, days when I want to fully give myself over to a noble cause and dive in headfirst. I want to be brave and selfless and strong. Nothing says that more than risking your life to save those in need in a suffering kingdom.

I just don't know if I can do it. Maybe my father does play a major role in my decision. I want to see him again and don't want him to lose me as I'm the only thing he has left.

When my mother got sick and died we were both devasted and tried our best to put on brave faces for the other, but I knew he would never be the same again. Losing me would have a similar impact only worse because he wouldn't have someone to take care of to help pull him out of his stupor.

"How many days would I have to get ready?" I fix Atwood with a hard look, trying to let him know he doesn't get a say in what I do. I'll be the one to decide if I go in or not.

His returning grin makes me see red. He always has a difficult time not getting his way. It's so infuriating sometimes I just want to smack him.

"Three."

"Three?" My mouth gapes open. "That's nothing. How do you expect me to train in three days?"

"I don't," he says. He steps around the other side of the table and when he fails to elaborate I huff out a nasty laugh.

"So, you expect me to die?" I snap back at him, my fury a living breathing thing coursing through my body.

"I don't expect that either," he says simply.

"Quincy stop being an ass and talk to her," Fynn chimes in. He steps up next to me offering silent support. I mentally thank him.

"I would like to tell her all the details of the mission if you would stop jumping to conclusions." He gives me a pointed look. "Now, sit down if you please."

I glower at him, wanting desperately to c***k his nose and watch his blood spill.

Gods, these murderous thoughts are getting worse and worse. There's something seriously wrong with me.

It's another reason why I'm terrified to submit to the rebellion. I have this darkness in me. Something that's always whispering in the back of my mind every time I'm angry or put in a difficult situation.

It's an urge to kill. And it terrifies me, especially in this kingdom where murder is the worst act you can do.

And here I am with an urge to murder anyone who even slightly flares up my anger.

I'm scared I'll tie myself to the rebellion and eventually there will be this one mission where I can no longer control my urge to kill. Having murder tied with the rebellion would ruin their reputation and the king would have to act against it.

I can't subject the good people of this rebellion to a horror like that.

It's something I've never brought up with anyone. Not even Akita or Fynn. I'm worried about what they would think of me if they knew I've always had such bloody thoughts.

It's something that snuck up on me. It was like one day I was fine, and the next: murder. It all happened after the accident I don't allow myself to ever think about. It's in the past and I need to move on from it.

No one can ever know what happened.

I watch as Akita and Fynn slowly make their way to the chair opposite Atwood and sit. The three of them look to me, waiting for me to sit down as well, but I remind standing, just to f**k with Atwood a little bit.

Atwood catches the smirk on my face and frowns. "Very well." He clears his throat and sits down as well. "While this might be an infiltration job, I'm not expecting you to do spy work. I'm merely hoping that the other servants will do enough gossiping that anything major going on you'll hear about it and be able to tell us. We've been a step behind King Valor for too long and this is our chance to even the playing field."

"So, you don't want me trying to get into the King's personal office or something like that?" I query, raising my eyebrows at him.

"I don't want you to put your life at risk if you can avoid it. I don't want to risk any more lives than I have to."

"Why didn't you say that before?" I let out an annoyed breath of air and give up enough to pull out the chair next to Fynn and sit. "You're insufferable Atwood."

"Now, now," Atwood chides, a playful glint in his eyes. "While I may be insufferable I'm not delusional. You'll spend the next few days training in every way you can. Fynn and Akita will be tasked to visit you once a week. You'll work in the kitchen and on food delivery days that's when they will make contact with you."

I nod in understanding, making eye contact with both Fynn and Akita.

"It will be one of the other, never both," Atwood continues. "So, be ready."

"We'll pose as servants delivering the food?" Akita clarifies.

"Precisely. I already have an in." He gestures to the papers he got from the desk now sprawled on the table in front of us. "Now, take a look at these pages. Each one has a specific topic of interest I want you to look out for. If you hear anything about them while in the castle pay close attention and be ready to report it all back without writing it down. It's imperative you keep all information word of mouth. We can't have any proof of you being there Saige. While it would be ideal to have solid proof we can't risk someone finding it in your belongings."

"I understand." I give him a reassuring nod and pick up the pages in front of me. I start skimming through the words on the page. Most of it is about paying close attention to anything about the rebellion—which I would think is an obvious given, but I guess Atwood wants to really drill it into my brain.

The one that takes my interest though is the note about the King's magic.

The people of Delphine know that the royal line has some form of magic. We're just not exactly clear on what it is. We in the rebellion know it's a brilliant strategy by the King so no one knows what to expect if they rise against him. The fear of unknown magic is paralyzing to most and does a wonderful job keeping everyone in line.

But it's also stifling. The people grow restless because of it since fear tends to lead to hate. We fear what we do not know and many grow tired of feeling this way. It's why the rebellion has been growing more and more in recent years. The people of Delphine are growing more restless and becoming fed up, the changing of times is coming soon.

What we do know about the King is that he's somewhat immortal. People said when his father, King Avalon, passed and King Valor took the throne he aged like normal. Then randomly after sitting on the throne for ten years he suddenly stopped and hasn't aged a day since. He's been on the throne now for forty years.

There's too much hearsay when it comes to the king. Since he ages so much slower than the rest of his staff and council it's difficult for knowledge to spread about him that's true. The king is also secretive and destroys any documents he can find about him and past kings. No one does something like that if they have nothing to hide.

King Valor took a wife around thirty years ago and had two sons. Prince Kavi and Prince Auden Dagon. The Queen tragically died during childbirth to Prince Auden and the King never remarried.

There are many rumors that the King was unkind to his wife. Some even go so far as to say it was a relief for her to be rid of him when she passed. Knowing what I do of the king I can't say I'm very surprised, though I do feel a fair amount of sympathy for Prince Kavi and Prince Auden to grow up without a mother. I would give anything to have another five minutes with mine and Prince Auden never even got the opportunity to know his mother at all.

"Think you got the jest of it?" Atwood's voice cuts through my wondering thoughts and I spring my head up to look at him.

"Seems pretty straightforward," I respond with a shrug. I'm nervous on the inside and trying my best not to show it. I don't need Akita or Fynn all over me the next few days babying me like a newborn. Sometimes the two of them can be so maternal it's scary.

"Good, we'll have more time to discuss it further over the next few days." He rises from his chair. "I know you're tired from your mission today so, I won't keep you any longer unless you have some burning questions."

His eyebrows raise at us. Akita, Fynn, and I all exchange glances as if to say: "don't you dare ask a question. I want to go to bed now". We all remain quiet and a small smile spreads across Atwood's face.

"Seems we're all done for the night. See you sorry lot bright and early tomorrow morning." He gives us a departing nod that's our queue to leave.

The three of us stand up as a single unit and make our way out of the massive beige tent.

"That could've gone better," I mutter as we go around the corner heading toward our respected tents.

"Atwood just likes to pull your strings as you do his," Akita grumbles in response, clearly not any happier about the event that just occurred.

"I like to think I'm not that bad." I cringe as I say it, even though it is mostly true.

"Don't worry, we'll put Atwood in his place tomorrow and it'll all be fine." Fynn wraps his muscled arm around my shoulder and gives me a light squeeze.

"How are you feeling about this mission?" Akita asks from my other side. Her face has taken on a look of concern for me, she knows I'm extremely wary of this task.

"As well as I can be." I lightly roll my eyes, trying to downplay my feelings, but of course, she sees right through it.

"When you want to truly talk just let me know." She gives me one last look before turning off down a path of tents to her own.

We're all sleeping in different sections thanks to how spread out our arrivals have been. Akita sleeps the most towards the middle close to where Atwood sleeps and the rest of the rebellion council. Fynn is closer to me towards the outer reaches of camp.

I let out a sigh and run a hand through my hair. The next three days are going to be so long.

Fynn has always been protective and likes to walk us back to our tents. He used to always do it with Akita until she threatened to cut off his favorite part and then grill it on the roaring fire where we have our celebrations. Let's just say Fynn was less than happy to oblige her request after that.

I have never minded when he walks me to my tent so I couldn't be bothered to try and send him on his way. I kind of think it's sweet. He's always cared so openly for Akita and me, it's refreshing to always know where I stand with him.

Fynn turns his head to me and his arm that's still wrapped around my shoulders tightens. He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"I know I can talk to you too. I'm just not exactly in the mood right now."

"Will you ever be in the mood before you go?" he questions. "When have you ever willingly talked about this stuff to us."

"And just what stuff are we even referring to? Atwood being a d**k?" I glare at him from the side of my eye.

"You know it's way more than that." His voice turns gentle and I can't help the way my blood starts to boil.

Yeah, sure. I'm not the most open person, none of us are. We've all been through too much in life to willingly share our emotions. We're so used to storing it all away for no one to see and pretending that everything is okay when it isn't. Not even close.

Fynn clears his throat, bringing my attention back to him. "I'm not trying to get you to tell me anything. I just want you to know you can ask me for help. You know that if anything goes wrong during the mission you can pull out immediately."

"The chances I get to escape are slim to none." I fist my hands at my sides.

"It shouldn't ever get to that point Saige. You've had so much training, and you're annoyingly gifted at everything you do. Why are you doubting yourself?"

My gaze falls to dying grass at our feet.

Why indeed.

I'm full of doubt because I'm scared. I can think of so many other terrible things I'd rather do than go on this mission. The thing is, I know that if I walked right back into the war room and told Atwood I refuse to participate, he would let me back out. He would be disappointed and probably would stop sending me on as many missions, but he would let me stay.

It all comes back to proving myself to this cause.

I'm so lost in my thoughts I don't even realize we've reached my tent, but apparently, Fynn isn't done with this discussion as he drags me into my small tent. It's barely big enough for my cot and a few personal belongings I have placed in the right corner. Most of my belongings are still at home. I should probably go by there tomorrow if I have time to make sure everything is still intact.

"You're being uncharacteristically quiet right now. I can see the wheels turning in your head. What's going on?" Fynn demands.

I sink down onto my sad excuse for a cot. "How did you do it?"

Fynn shakes his head. "Do what?"

"Dive right in and give your body and soul to this cause? I'm trying and I can't seem to do it."

Fynn lets out a long breath and runs a hand over his face. He moves to sit down next to me.

"Saige." He sighs. "It's not that simple."

"I know it's not. It's why I'm asking." Frustration starts coursing through me.

"It's hard to just explain it out. There's more to it than that." He shakes his head again and stares up at the top of the tent. "After my father died there was this void that opened up inside of me. No matter what I did, nothing could fill it. I was empty and afraid, I was running from every responsibility I had and I did some shameful things. I'm not proud of how I spent those two years after his passing. But when I met Atwood and saw all the good I could do here... It helped fill that void just enough. The rebellion gave me a new purpose, a new home."

I take in his words. It's nothing I haven't already heard before.

Maybe it's different for me because I still have a family member out there. Someone I can hold onto to come back to me. Akita has no one left and Fynn's mom and little sister are here at camp with us. His whole life is here, while I still feel like there's a part of me elsewhere.

"You're willing to die for this movement. For Atwood." I don't ask because I already know it's true.

"Yes," he states. "But it took time. You've been here eleven months, not even a full year yet. You need to give it some more time."

"But there isn't more time. Atwood is forcing my hand right now," I argue.

"Just tell him no." He says is so simply like I don't have to stress about any of this.

"You and I both know it's not that simple."

"It's only not because you're making it so." Fynn turns his body to face me. "Stop fighting and just let it go Saige."

I stare into his unwavering green eyes. Sometimes Fynn can be such a pain in my ass.

"Just think about it. I can talk to Akita tomorrow and all three of us can do the training and then decide who can go," he says.

"You mean out of Akita and me," I mutter.

Fynn cringes. "Yeah, sorry. I guess that's right. Either way, I'll do it with you. You're not going to go through this alone."

"Look at you, trying to be all nice. It's an interesting look for you Fynn," I tease.

Fynn huffs out a laugh. "Stop trying to change the subject and I'm nice all the time."

I scoff. "When are you nice? Your favorite pastime is making fun of the way I run."

"Hey, it's not my fault you run like a chicken."

"I do not!"

"Oh, you so do. All wild and flapping—"

I push him off my cot and onto the ground. He lands with an oomph but starts immediately chuckling.

"So testy," he teases as he pushes himself up from the ground.

"It's what you get for your incredibly rude comments." I shrug and pretend to be interested in my nails.

Fynn's smile lights up his whole face. "Feel better?"

I roll my eyes. "If that was an attempt to get my mind off of what I'm possibly doing in three days it worked until you brought it up again."

He lets out an annoyed groan. "Alright, fine. I could've done that better, but you know what I mean."

My eyes flicker up to meet his. "Yes," I tell him, "it did help."

"Get some sleep. We'll figure it out tomorrow." He turns and stalks out of the tent, the opening flapping in the midnight breeze.