Fall Not

EPISODE 4

Lay’s Point of View

A soft voice continues to whisper to my left ear. If only it had an angelic voice, I’d get up in a second, but it doesn’t possess such. What a disappointment. I can hear the impatient tone in her voice as she tries to wake me up, though I’m already awake. She’s indeed trying her best at everything.

“Lay.”

“Wake up Lay.”

“It’s already 8:35.”

“Dearest Lay, Get. Up. Please”

I envied your dedication, but I hate you as a human alarm.

I rolled around the bed to let her know that I was not yet willing to get up. Like, why would this bitter lady be waking up a busy dreamer like me, huh? Isn’t it too early to get up yet?

I tried to utter words, but they were like a bird's whisper. “Another minute,” said I with disappointment, then stretched out my arms to reach out for a pillow to cover my face. She’ll be annoyed in a minute and should be ready for a sermon.

The sun has now risen. I know it’s time to wake up and live, but I’m too tired. For everyone’s information, we slept late last night.

But then, who’s fault is it? It’s Claire’s. She kept on saying she had something to say but we just ended up staying late without any word coming out of her mouth. Oh, my Claire.

“We’ll be late, hurry up.” She insists. Still, I’m lying on my bed doesn’t caring about the time, and courageous enough to consume all the patience Claire has kept with her.

“MORRILAE PLEASE!” she suddenly shouted. My full name? Oh! She has lost it already. She knew that I’d be awakened once she uttered my full name because it’d make me angry. She succeeded. Though these eyes of mine are still closed, I can imagine her irritated face, raised eyebrow, deep sighing, and of course her rolling eyeballs. What scenery, dear.

“Calm down. Take your patience pill first.” I sarcastically suggested stretching out my hand as if I was giving her a pill for her patience. So, it’ll just tease her more. That’s the plan.

My mind says I will not be defeated in this battle.

“If only there was such a medicine, Lay. I would love to buy the store itself,” she said, pouring a whole cup of sarcasm she also kept. “Get up. Remember, today is the day. We need to go out as early as we can.”

“What difference does this morning offer from the previous days I’ve spent?” I asked and heard her soft chuckles. What’s funny?

“It’s payday.” She sweetly whispered. “We’re going to the Mall.”

What? What is what? Payday? I heard a different tune that awakened my soul. Just after realizing it, I removed the pillow on my face and let the blanket slip on the floor, getting up hastily. I then ran through the bathroom.

We’re late. I mean not really since the mall had just opened at 8 am this morning. All things must be done as early as possible because we will soon be lining up at the counter longer than expected since it’s payday.

YEY! I could smell the mall’s air conditioner.

It’s the end of the month, pay day in short, also payment of bills and budgeting but then, this will be a day for us to go to a mall and roam. Claire is being paid with minimum salary at her job being a writer’s assistant in a Publishing Company, while I work at nowhere, I am currently jobless, last month I resigned from my previous job.

I am still in the job-hunting era.

“Are we still having breakfast here or will we just buy outside?!” Claire shouted just after I entered the bathroom to take a bath. But I never responded, am now busy singing, not sure maybe just shouting with a bit of a key.

Minutes after I’d done enough scrubbing my body and everything, I found Claire lying on our cream two-seater sofa, looking at the ceiling as I could observe it, she looked drowning in her thoughts, early in the morning, maybe contemplating our life. She’s been like that, and I’m used to it.

“Is everything fine?” I asked approaching her while drying my hair with a small towel.

She sighed. a heavy sigh to be exact. Something is wrong.

“Did I annoy you that much?” I asked. “Don’t worry I did apply to ten companies. I’m expecting an answer within this week or next week.” Well, me being jobless is not the case here, I can read the room and felt like she was thinking of something else.

Something else or some--

“No, I’m okay. I’m fine. It’s nothing and you’re not the reason, stop taking all the credit” she replied with her sincere smile. Yet she’s still looking at spaces, dodging my stares.

“I’m not asking if you’re okay because you always are even if you’re not. I want to know if everything’s fine?” I sat closer and her head leaned onto my shoulder, so there was. She then again let out a deep, heavy, and heartfelt sigh.

“This too shall pass,” I heard her whisper to herself.

Her head is so heavy. Why would this beautiful lady beside me carry such unnumbered thoughts, alone? If only I could remove those tabs inside her head and delete all such bad memories, I would, but hey! I’m just a human and she also is, so it’s normal. But then, I do believe when someone said that dwelling on negative thoughts shouldn’t be normalized.

“You can tell me,” said I, in a very soft tone of request, as possible. I wanted to be a comfort, a home to someone when everything seemed to be turning into nightmares.

“Later, I will,” said Claire then lifted her head and walked toward the door.

She’s not yet ready to spill it out, at times she would just lean her head onto my shoulder and then cry everything out, and sometimes she’d wake up looking like a Dracula who couldn’t sleep all night and just drowned herself in tears.

“Spill it!” I wanted to know, but she just glared at me. Hey! how dare-- anyways. Let’s not forget about it but for now, we need to move on, we need to buy food. Let’s go!

“So, shall we go?” I suggested, following her heavy steps, her face looking downward, might be counting her fingertips.

She doesn’t want me to know, not yet. I can wait. But my patience is too short, shorter than my height, I guess. But as a person who does know how to lessen someone’s burden, not insisting on someone to release everything also takes courage and patience, they will never feel understood, but at the very least they will know someone is willing to offer an ear.

Before we left our house, I looked around. At some point, we would need new glasses and mugs, even other personal things. Since it’s not yet a decade since we built this house together with her father’s skills, things inside here are still incomplete.

like air conditioners, and so forth.

The life we thought we would be enjoying is like a faded fantasy now. If I could remember 5 years ago, we imagined that we would be living in our own house, and yeah, we did, but the thing is we never talk about the expenses. We cannot deny the fact that we indeed failed to plan for it.

Everything is just but an imagination. The earth has turned its back on us, or did we turn our backs to this earth?

Instead of daily shopping, even going to the mall is just once a week for us, we pay our bills, and there should always be allotted money for emergency funds, daily fare, monthly bills, excess expenses, and food. At the very least, we’re grateful that her parents trusted us that we can live together, that we really can live.

And we’re kind of enjoying this independence.

Additionally, after I resigned from my previous job, it may be hard for me to receive such a good response since my ability is not in demand. I graduated on a course I didn’t even want. While Claire is on her way to becoming a great author, I am still trying to figure out things within me.

What this heart wants to achieve, or its passion, is what I am hungry for.

I’ve been looking forward to a passion that I would carelessly do. Right now, what I am good at is listening to so many complaints of unsatisfied customers in a Call Center Company. Even with my applications, I’m still applying with the same ability, to talk with extra-long patience. Yeah, it’s tiring, but it’s worth it.

And I’ve been happy living with this understanding human being, who’s always taking my side.

...

please turn to the next episode to continue the story. Thank You for reading.