Fall Not

EPISODE 1

The birds are chirping their song amid darkness, seeming like they can still recognize hope in spaces they stare at and fly through. While the stars shine brightly, the moon peaks from its comfort zone, crescent yet whole, quite gorgeously honed. Now is a definite time to take a deep sleep and amuse yourself in your dreams, but these two young ladies under the tree don’t seem to be intrigued by having sweet dreams.

The lady thinks twice before fully uttering the question formed in her thoughts, “Have you ever…”. She then pauses and takes a deep breath, like it was the hardest decision she ever had at that present time, “…ever confessed your feelings to someone? I mean, like opening what you feel towards someone?” she asked then took a glance at the person peacefully sitting right next to her, her best friend.

Someone who just closed her eyes and inhaled all the freshness of the air as it played with them in the middle of the night after sneaking out of their dormitory room and ending up contemplating their lives.

But then the silence met its death.

Lay’s intimidating question cracked the ice that has been freezing their skinny bodies under the lonely tree in front of their dormitory. Few lamps in the hallway give a bit of life. They could only hear the wind singing a melodious song as the leaves danced with it and as well as the sweet branches reaching the space higher as it could match the bird’s sentiments. It whistles like a lullaby. They look into each other’s eyes, trying to decipher the awkwardness just a second after the simple question was uttered.

Simple yet not the simplest.

It wasn’t a new question, and neither were they teenagers anymore to even dodge it, yet somehow it sounded like a weird tone echoed, like an amateur pianist hitting the wrong chord, unexpectedly.

“Do you want to know the similarity of your question to this campus we’re staying in?”

Claire’s response made Lay wonder. “They’re both boring?”

“They are quite old-fashioned.” She uttered and it perfectly painted a perfect smile to both their warm lips. “Why are you bringing that up anyways?” asked Claire and gazed at Lay. “don’t tell me you’re interested in the topic itself?”

Lay instantly shakes her head and the transition was fast, smiling bitterly. “It’s not that I’m interested, just curious.” she replied.

“Some said that people are more honest in the evening, especially at midnight. I mean, it’s just that the idea thrills me to ask you that question.” She explained.

“That’s nonsense.” Claire disagrees. “So, it means we mostly lie in broad daylight?”

“I don’t know. I just read it somewhere.”

“Have you?” Claire dodge back the question to Lay, but she just smiles a bit and instantly shakes her head.

“There’s no way. Will never have that scenario stuck in my thoughts. And I doubt it’ll happen.”

“Well, in my case I did confess to someone” Claire answered then cleared her throat. “Well, a lot of times I think, when I was in high school,” She added.

“What does it feel like?” a curious follow-up question from Lay, “Is it some sort of magic or…just a lost butterfly in your stomach?” Lay randomly added. This time their eyes look in the opposite direction, and sip their warm coffee, afraid that their eyes would bring the saying, eyes never lie to life. Claire digs up first her deepest well of thoughts before handing a cup of experience to Lay.

“It wasn’t that special at all. Like what I imagined it might be, or it should be, considering confession could be defined by someone as one of the big days she can have, since you know, it is about your heart’s voiceless words.” She explained and followed with a deep sigh. No wavering at all.

Both could easily read each other’s body language as if it was always talking verbally, that is what best friends are for, maybe. Lay just makes a long face at what Claire has stated.

“To be honest, does it need to be special? I mean, I thought it was just a mere word, or phrase coming out of your mouth from the deepest secret you always carry with you, oftentimes a bit hidden I guess, was it like that?” Lay frankly asked. She knew Claire very well, she’s the type of person who prefers to show herself transparently than to fake it, especially her emotions to someone. For a reason that it is meaningful to her, like what they are currently talking about at this moment.

For Claire, it is important, while for Lay it’s just a mere topic. For she doesn’t know yet where that piled up emotions are coming from, Unaware of her own unconscious thoughts.

“You said that you’ve done it a lot of times already, does all of that come out with sincerity at all?” Lay still couldn’t picture the thought and experience Claire had. “I know feelings don’t need to be kept, Claire and one must be able to express it for the sake of others, but for some instances, it’s just a simple appreciation for someone’s existence, it’s not an extravagant scene a person should plan on before executing it.”

“Maybe, for you, it could be as easy as that, let’s say throwing garbage in its proper bin, but for others, like me, it is different,” Claire argues and focuses her attention on the dark spaces. “Imagine a piece of paper begging a writer not to compose sad poetries again, it’s quite cliché but it exists.” she delicately expressed those words with blandness in her eyes.

Sometimes she’s just so transparent that everyone could read her mind even her hidden bruises but there happened to be moments, when she’s comparable to a big lake, though quiet and calm to look at, the moment you swim, its deepness pulls you hard ‘til you reach out for air to breathe in.

“What a deep thought, dear. Take everything else easy, just like… how you smoothly write those cheesy and peeling onion poems you have kept,” said Lay teasing her best friend, who’s still overthinking about life.

“I hoped it could be as easy as that Lay, but I felt that it wasn't.”

“Like I told you, you just need to express it.”

“As if you knew how.”

“I do.” She confidently spoke. “I could thank you a hundred times for being a friend of mine. That’s it, simple as that. I’m confessing my thoughts to you because you’ve been an excellent person beside me.”

“That’s not always the case for me, Lay.”

“If you’re still confused about it, don’t ever utter it yet. You will just be regretting things.”

“Either of the two, we still will be regretting things. We just need to choose where we think we will regret less.”

“That’s the simple proof that you are consumed by confusion. Do it like this Claire, don’t think about that person anymore.” Lay swiftly spoke out and Claire almost spilled the coffee she was holding because of awe and her eyeballs couldn’t even roll a bit, maybe they froze due to coldness. “The simplest gesture you can do for your sake is to have your peace of mind,” Lay added.

Little did Claire expect any sugar coating from her friend because they both knew what and who is the ending point of the story

Claire is trying to dig up.

It’s an unsealed condition for best friends, to not hide anything.

“We’re not going to talk about different kinds of confession right?” Claire asked.

“Yeah, supposed to be, but it is very relatable on your part.” Lay responded.

“Be careful with your words…” Claire quickly whispered to make Lay lower her voice. “…the person you are referring to might just be around here with his brown little guitar.” She added.

“Oh!” Lay gasps curving a smile on her lips. “Someone's always enjoying a view of a guy playing his favorite songs with his brown little guitar.” Claire just rolled her eyes at what Lay had declared. She cannot deny that simple fact she just heard.

“Keep it to yourself, Lay. Lucky for you that you haven’t been able to confess to someone you like, you are so good at hiding Lay, at almost everything.” Claire stated in a calm voice and just sighed out of disappointment that she is the only victim of what they called lost butterflies.

“I’m glad I can do that much for my own sake. If not, it’ll just be a thorn in my journey.”

“Oh, so bitter.”

“Unlike your sweetness, I, myself, cannot stand your butterflies.”

Lay’s life is similarly a bitter-sweet taste. She hates long-life butterflies in her stomach. According to her, they might be suffocated inside which is why she just lets them free, as in free to find another stomach to victimize.

Lay hates men. For some reason, she has kept a secluded vein in her brain.

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