Tonight, we kill our husbands

CHAPTER THREE

Kate’s POV

The coffee shop sits on the corner of Maple and Rosewood, small enough to feel intimate and perfect to host the firm’s associates. A bell jingles as I push the glass door open. The smell of caramel syrup and roasted beans hangs in the air. For once, I am grateful to be anywhere but the Roosevelt mansion. I tuck my hair behind my ears and scan the room. I find Emily, sitting at the corner of the shop, reading Macbeth. I hope I haven’t kept her waiting. She looks up as I enter, her lips curving into a smile that reaches her eyes.

“Kate,” she says, closing the book. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” “I needed to get out,” I admit, sliding into the booth across from her. “I ordered you a cappuccino,” she says, nudging the mug towards me. “Cinnamon right?”

I smile at her. “You remembered.” “Of course, I did,” she responds, putting away her book. I glance at her book. “Didn’t know you read books, Emily.” “Of course, I do. I love this book in particular. Macbeth is a strong character,” Emily responds. “Oh, I see. That’s lovely.” I take a sip of my favorite coffee, it’s just the right amount of cinnamon and cocoa. With every sip, I feel my chest loosen a bit. For a while, we didn’t speak. The cafe hummed around us, the distant chattering of couples and the whirring sound of the fridge — everything seemed so peaceful.

Emily leans forward and fixes her gaze on me. “You seem…far away.” A soft laugh escapes my lips. “Maybe I am” “Want to talk about it?” she asks. The question cut me deeper than I could have imagined. No one ever asked me that. “I’m fine,” I say quickly, staring into my cappuccino. She didn’t look away. “You know it’s okay not to be okay, Kate. We all have secrets and scars.” Her words pressed against the wall I’d built around myself, threatening to bring it down. I try to hold them off, but I finally give in. “Last night was just…difficult.” “Dinner?”

I nod. “James can be…particular about how things should go. He got angry about us speaking on the balcony. And honestly, he mustn’t find out I came to see you.” Emily moves closer to me. “Is it that bad? Is he that controlling?” I can feel the air in my lungs escaping. Am I revealing too much?, I ask myself. “It’s not like that,” I whisper, but even I can hear the lie in that. “He’s under pressure. The firm, the investors.” Her hand slides across the table, brushing against mine. That touch broke me. “Kate,” she says softly. “You don’t have to explain him away. Not to me.”

Her reassuring voice made me feel safe, I felt like I could tell her anything. My throat tightens, it feels like there’s a ball in it. And the tears start flowing. “He…he hurts me, Emily.” And just like that, my secret was out. I try to cover my mouth, but it’s too late. Emily now knows what goes on at the Roosevelt mansion. I must have forgotten I am in public, because why won’t these tears stop flowing? Emily holds my hands even tighter and says, “You don’t deserve that. None of it.” “I loved him,” I mutter. “I thought we’d build a life together. I thought I’d matter to him. But time and time again, he has pushed me down. And the worst part is, I keep letting him.” Her voice softens and she pulls me into a hug. “You’re stronger than you think. And you’re not alone anymore, Kate.” There was something in the way she said it, made me want to believe her. We sit there as the rain pours outside. Emily didn’t demand any more from me. She just sits with me in silence, waiting for me to finally collect myself. Finally, I wipe my eyes and manage to put up a smile. “Thank you.” “You don’t need to thank me,” she says. “Just promise me one thing.”

I swallow. “What?”

“That you’ll take care of yourself.” I nod, but that promise rests in the hands of my husband.

Emily reclines back in her chair. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” “What do you mean?” I ask her. “Andrew…Andrew hits me too,” she says, her voice breaking. “It’s been going on for a while now. To think that he proposed to me over and over again before I agreed to marry him. It’s a nightmare, Kate.”

I scoot over to her side and hold her hands. “Oh Emily, I know how you feel. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” She gives a small, sarcastic laugh and continues. “It started little by little. Comments about what I wore, how I spoke, and who I spent time with. Then one day, I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. She felt like a shadow of herself.” Her fingers tighten around mine, as she recollects her ordeals. I don’t care about other people’s feelings sometimes, it’s a toxic trait of mine. But I can relate to Emily in a way that no one can. My heart aches as she talks. “I’m so sorry, Emily. You really have gone through so much,” I murmur. She shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s these men that should be sorry,” she snaps, her voice rising as she speaks.

When we finally stand up to leave, the air outside is cool and damp. The rain has stopped and it’s just showering. I pull my coat tighter around me. For the first time in years, I feel seen. Finally, someone gets me. As we say goodbye, she touches my arm lightly. “Call me if you ever need to talk. Anytime, Kate. I mean it.” I watch her walk away. I stand there for a while, thinking about our meeting. Then I’m brought back from my thoughts by a text from James: I’m home. Where are you?