I returned to my dorm after being humiliated by Freya in class. I finally got her name today, Mrs. Alvarez called her out at some point because she was being loud and playing around like she always does, and that's when I learned who she was. She had already made me look small in front of the whole class earlier, and honestly, by the time I made it back to the dorm, I was done with the whole day.
I walked into my room and I didn't even take off my uniform. I just dropped my bag on the floor and fell straight onto my bed. It was still my first day, and it had already been a lot. Nothing about it felt like the fresh start I was hoping for. I pulled out my phone and went online, scrolling through t****k for a while just to get my mind off everything that happened. It actually helped. I kept landing on videos that made me laugh a little, and slowly my mood started coming back up. By the time I was ready for bed, I felt calm enough to sleep, and I slept the whole night without waking up once. I must have been more tired than I realized, because I was out like a light the second my head hit the pillow.
The next morning I woke up early, way before my alarm even had the chance to go off. I wanted to get my shower in before the other girls on my floor started fighting over the bathroom, so I got up, got my bath done, and got dressed for school without any trouble. Once I was ready, I called George and asked if he wanted to walk to school together. He said yes right away, and we met up outside and walked in together, talking about nothing in particular the whole way there.
We had Mrs. Alvarez first period. I remembered what she said the day before about pairing us up randomly, and I couldn't stop thinking about who I might end up with. I didn't have anyone in mind, not really, but I was still nervous about it. I just hoped whoever I got wouldn't be difficult to work with, wouldn't be rude or stubborn or make the whole project harder than it needed to be. That was really all I was asking for.
Once everyone settled into their seats, Mrs. Alvarez walked in, said her usual good morning to the class, and pulled out a folded sheet of paper from her bag.
"Alright, let's get straight into it," she said, unfolding the paper. "I'll call out the pairs. Once you hear your name, find your partner and sit together for the rest of the class."
I was flipping through my notebook, only half listening, when I heard her say, "Williams and Fernandez."
It didn't click at first. I kept looking down at my book like the words hadn't fully landed yet. But a few seconds later it hit me. Fernandez. That was Carlton's last name.
I was being paired with Carlton.
Could this day get any worse. This was the same guy who called me clumsy in the hallway just the day before, the same guy whose bad mood I had somehow become the target of for no reason at all. And now Mrs. Alvarez was telling the whole class that these pairs would stay together for all the projects we’d be working on for this semester.
Part of me knew I was supposed to be happy about this. He was my crush, after all, even if I hadn't told a single soul that. But sitting there in that moment, happy wasn't really what I felt. I felt scared. What if he brought up the way I snapped back at him. What if this whole project turned into weeks of awkward silence and tension neither one of us wanted. I had no idea what to expect from him, and that not knowing was almost worse than knowing something bad for sure.
I wasn't the only one caught off guard.
I glanced up just in time to see Carlton staring at Mrs. Alvarez with a look of pure shock on his face. He turned around slowly, looked back at me for a second, then turned back to face the front of the class again like he didn't quite know what to do with what he just heard. I was surprised he looked that thrown by it. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Freya. She looked even more shocked than he did, and it didn't take long before she was on her feet.
"Mrs. Alvarez, Carlton and I are always grouped together," Freya said, her voice already climbing, that sharp edge to it that told me she wasn't asking, she was demanding.
Mrs. Alvarez didn't even look up from her paper right away. When she finally did, her face was calm, but there was no room in her voice for any back and forth.
"I already told this class yesterday, the groupings are final," she said. "There will be no changes made. If that's a problem for you, you're welcome to drop the course so you either sit down or leave my class Miss Lionel "
The room went quiet in that way it does when everyone is pretending not to listen while listening very closely. I could see the anger burning across Freya's face, her jaw tight, her eyes locked on Mrs. Alvarez like she wanted to argue further but knew there was nowhere left to take it. She sat back down hard, arms crossed, and didn't say another word.
I kept my head down and stared blankly at my book, pretending to be very interested in a page I wasn't actually reading. It wasn't my fault how the groups got picked, and it definitely wasn't my fault that Freya lost her favorite partner over it, but I could still feel her glare from across the room like it was burning a hole straight through me.
I didn't know if I should feel lucky or terrified. Maybe both. Several weeks stuck working next to the boy who barely knew me until yesterday, the same boy who managed to make me feel small in a hallway and then somehow made me smile through a joke his friend told at lunch, all in the span of one single day. I had no idea how any of this was going to go.
But there was no getting out of it now. Mrs. Alvarez had made that very clear. Whatever happened over the next couple of weeks, whether it turned out to be a disaster or something else entirely, I was going to have to sit beside Carlton Fernandez and figure it out one class at a time.
I just hoped I could survive it without making things even more awkward than they already were.
As soon as the bell rang, Mrs. Alvarez looked at the class.
"Before you leave, every pair will spend the next hour together in the library planning your project."
My heart dropped.
An entire hour... alone with Carlton Fernandez.
Carlton stood up, picked up his notebook, and started walking toward my desk.
For the first time since we'd met...
It looked like he was finally going to say something less rude