Wavering Heart

History 101

Chapter 2 – History 101

AINSLEY POV

Ainsley knew things were hitting a stand still at home with Marcus, but she didn't think it had gotten this bad amongst them. Things use to be okay between them, okay is a good description one would never say excellent as it felt majority of the time Ainsley was just trying to be what Marcus wanted, she was losing herself to his image of what was right regardless they were okay, mind you the s*x on the other hand, OH BOY it use to be great... at times, scoffing to herself as she let her mind wonder further.

At times alright, that's a cute thought. The s*x between them use to make nuns jealous for crying out loud, making them wish they hadn't swore those vows, it would make the whole church break out in a sweat, haha, not that they ever did it in a church but if they had, look out!

She was sure the s*x is what saved their relationship from time to time, who are we kidding if s*x could be the answer to cure any deadly disease that is what it did for their relationship on multiple occasions. It was like it put them back in alignment with one another, but for the past couple years something else was going on. She had put the blame on herself for their downfall as she always felt she was inadequate when it came to him. Marcus had needs, greedy, selfish needs, that she wasn't comfortable in meeting not saying she didn't try to entertain his twisted fantasies, but entertaining and doing were two entirely different things. 

Let's not get ahead ourselves here because before all of that, before the fantasy, before the neglect, he had already found solace in other women, lying about their relationship, sending photos, even bending them over in the garage. Sure they didn't make into their home, and romance wasn't there, but he still cheated, he still let loose with another woman, told them how beautiful and sexy they were, funny eh? He can tell a women with no ties that she is a goddess on earth, but his lady, Not a word. Asshole! Back to the cheating though, damn side-tracked mind -

Cheated?! That was THE understatement of the year! He did more than cheat, he broke any trust that had formed over the years, not only did he damage what she fought over the years for them to build together, he did worse. He damaged her. She could never understand why he would jeopardize what they had for a quick piece of ass. She knew she had a thick build; she knew she wasn't a model by any stretch of the imagination, but she was okay with that, deep down Ainsley knew she wasn't perfect, but she wasn't completely unfortunate in the looks department, hell some days she impressed herself when looking in the mirror. That was until the women started coming out of the wood works confessing their relations with the man who claimed to be hers. She now questioned everything, she lost weight to be appeasing to him, but he wouldn't touch her. She gained not to where she was but so she was thick again by her standards. Still nothing. She dyed her hair; she would do her makeup and get accused of being up to no good... Funny how the devil plays. What's good for the goose is never good for the gander. The irony, right? All the backlash of what she was doing to try and appeal to him, she realized it was always a losing battle. It felt like whatever she did from being affectionate, and attentive to distant, and removed; he never wanted her, but he wouldn't let her go either. She had become her own worst critic due to these actions. The split-second decisions he made to quench his lust without thinking of anyone else but himself, yet here she was, still seeing if they had anything left for one another.

That fantasy, he wouldn't drop it. It seemed that was the only time he entertained the idea of even being romantically involved with her. The moment her guard dropped, and she put out for him an thought all eyes were on her, she'd feel good, she'd felt seen, and for a change desired. He would tell her how gorgeous her curvy ass was, following her around their house like a lust-fueled beast, ready to pounce on her, he'd get close, and she could feel his hardened c**k ready for her, that realization always got her excited, he wanted her. She'd give in, kissing his lips but never receiving that undying passion she was longing for, but who cares this was her moment, she wasn't going to let her brain spoil it, sure he always skimped out on the foreplay, she was use to it, she would touch herself from him so she was lubricated enough that he could slide in without hurting her, good did she love f**k! Enjoying the moment, she'd be so close to finally having her own release, she just needed that extra to throw her over the edge, "Bite me Marcus" as she would pull him in but the moment it came to her needs and her being satisfied, the moment she was INTO it, like really INTO IT, he would get close to her ear and the words would leave his lips "Who's f*****g you baby? Whos’ c**k are you taking for me?" Joke was on her, it was never his name he wanted to hear, it was always his fantasy to tag team her with another man, or watch someone else do all his dirty work, like he was ashamed to touch her. That's exactly how it felt. He was disgusted to be with her. The moment the words left his lips, she was done. The once moist core begging for more now turned into a dry Sahara Desert. There was no coming back to a "Sexy " zone after that. He ruined it for her EVERYTIME. Again, only thinking of himself. She should be use to it by now, but every time it broke something in her. The more she refused to entertain his fantasy, the more he would hold out any affection, making things extremely dull at home. The more he ignored her, the longer he went without a nice sentiment or a desired touch, her dreams would come more and more frequent, taking over her nights. Leaving her a scorching mess, but in her dreams, she was desired, longed for,  and most of all WANTED! The man from her past, he wanted her! In the most innocent of ways, to the filthiest, he wanted her regardless of size or status. He wanted her, she couldn't deny she wanted him,

Lost in thoughts, she pulled into her space at work, of course it started to rain, wouldn't be a complete s**t show of a morning without the weather to adhere. Shaking her head, she got out of her car and dashed for the doors. Barely making it inside when a all too familiar voice hit her.

 "Hey b***h! running late? Oh wait! That's usual for you! Just on time I see!" The woman roared in laughter, Ainsley rolled her eyes at her best friend Jacqueline, but as if she read her mind a coffee cup was in her face.

"Here grump-ass take mine, you clearly need it!" Taking the cup, she tastes that delicious coffee dancing on her tongue. "Thank you, Jackie! What would I do without you, freaking Marcus drank the last of the cream and didn’t even tell me till I poured my cup and had asked him to hand it over"

"Shocker, inconsiderate Marcus strikes again, not shocked! And clearly you wouldn’t get too far into your day without killing someone, hence why you have me as your saving grace, per usual…”

"Oh piss off!" both girls started giggling making their way to their morning rounds at the Nursing Home. It always amazed Ainsley how vulgar, outspoken, and carefree her and best friend could get, but here at the home they were adored by residents and staff. The duo was an unstoppable team, able to complete any task, crack and situation, and diffuse any altercations. They dynamic left people in tears if they overheard their conversation. 

Unlike Ainsley who was always smiling for the most part in public eye, she was the outgoing, wild one of the two, Jackie was more reserved with her quick banter (which she needed to keep up with her boisterous friend), she was the more serious one, who kept the two grounded, which no doubt they needed!  Often being mistaken for sisters, it was no secret they were destined to be in each others’ lives. The often referred to each other as the ying to the other's yang.

Jackie stood an inch shorter than Ainsley, she had similar figure, and dirty blonde hair that had a natural wave just like her friends, only it came just slightly above her shoulder. She wore her glasses daily and held a proper resting b***h face. She was naturally beautiful though even with her full face, and body, she was stunning. Men couldn't resist her, which was funny cause she was always so mean to them. At work though the residents must’ve seen the sweetheart underneath that stern look because some of them absolutely loved her bitchy face.