The Unlucky Black Cat

chapter 11

Have you ever thought about the meaning of your existence?

I think everyone has probably pondered similar questions at some point.

What were the results of your contemplation?

Perhaps we can compare our answers.

Some people around me have proposed many different solutions:

For example, life itself is meaningless.

Or one should live in the present.

Or the value of life lies entirely in self-actualization.

Or emotional attachment is more important than any material wealth.

And all these answers ultimately converge in one direction.

It seems that they all lead to fully accepting oneself, one's lifestyle, and acknowledging one's worth.

To put it simply, it's about making peace with life.

Accepting the imperfect self and the imperfect circumstances peacefully.

In this way, the concept of meaning, which only exists in subjective perspectives, becomes less elusive.

But accepting oneself, those four words.

Sound simple, but are not so easy to put into practice.

Throughout history, whether groups or individuals, self-reflection is an essential process for sustained, healthy development.

Then why not just not develop? Since thinking brings pain.

This is Jiang Sheng's lazy idea.

It wants to become a cat, seemingly to live carefree as it does now.

In its view, life itself is an irreplicable miracle, and as long as one lives, there is meaning.

Unfortunately, being human is too exhausting.

So, it wants to change its way of living.

He Wen, who is only separated by a window from it, clearly does not share this view.

He always wonders if the words he struggles with truly hold any meaning.

Are these sources of his pain really meaningful?

If he merely lives out his remaining days in this manner, does his life truly have meaning?

...

Outside the window, Jiang Sheng sits idly on the windowsill, lost in thought.

It is not worried about not being able to enter the room.

After all, physical walls cannot stop its grievances, and the young man's computer is close to the window.

So even standing outside, it can continue absorbing his "misfortune."

The only concern is when the young man stays away from his computer for a long time.

But that's fine; if necessary, Jiang Sheng can open the window and enter the room.

The window isn't locked, and with strength akin to a serval, it can certainly push open a window.

However, considering that the young man clearly doesn't want to see it again right now,

Jiang Sheng decides to let him be alone for a while.

If it can avoid disturbing him, it won't.

A week.

Just a week or so.

By then, I will leave on my own.

Jiang Sheng has never been a social "person" and has never thought about entering anyone's life. It prefers to linger at the fringes of society.

Come when it wants to, leave when it wants to, like most stray cats, living freely without attachment or pursuit.

...

"Although, but, yet..."

"However, though, yet..."

"These words have already been used before, what else can be used?"

"No, no, why can't they be used a second time?"

"Because the same words shouldn't be repeated in the same chapter."

"Is twice considered repetition? Three times is the limit, you know."

"Three, but I've used many words more than three times before, like some, they, here, there, etc."

"Then go check and change them all."

"You're crazy; how many changes would that be? No, I shouldn't be stuck on this; how can I write if I'm stuck on this?" "But someone who can't use words properly, how can they write?"

In the room, He Wen sits dazed in front of his computer, his mind filled with countless conflicting inner monologues.

At this moment, he starts writing his novel again.

And every time he does, he falls into an inescapable self-doubt.

Expressing things simply and clearly seems exceptionally difficult for him.

He wants to write his novel well, no doubt.

But precisely because of this.

Sometimes, even putting pen to paper requires significant mental preparation.

Let alone the arduous task of completing the draft.

This approach is wrong, completely wrong.

He Wen understands this, but his mind seems to have gotten used to this way of thinking.

It has even become a fixed step.

Every word, every sentence must be pondered, and the next second, he overturns the decision made just a moment ago.

He might be able to temporarily set aside these thoughts. But when they pile up and collapse,

```He Wen would completely negate everything he had written before. He would think his writing was utter nonsense and, in the end, unable to add another stroke to it. It was a state of despair, as if all his emotions had been worn away. "Whatever, just keep writing for now, at least finish today's content. Please, stop arguing." He Wen muttered, suppressing waves of irritation. At the same time, he heavily pressed his palm against his forehead, as if doing so could make those noisy thoughts dissipate. Then he pressed his thumb against his rib cage, hunched over in his seat, and took a deep breath. As if this could calm his anxious heart. He Wen wanted peace. He wanted to regain his past simple fantasies. He wanted to find a "safe haven" that could make him forget his troubles. A beautiful dreamland where he could travel the world by laying his head on the table. However, the real world usually doesn't believe in daydreams. ... "Boom." Perhaps it was amidst a deafening thunderclap that He Wen raised his head from the desk once again. He realized it was going to rain outside again. Summer rain always came suddenly, without waiting. I should not have any clothes hanging out there, right? He Wen thought. Yesterday, he was too tired to take a shower, so naturally, he hadn't changed his clothes either. Suddenly, he remembered the black cat that didn't want to leave this morning. That little one must be gone by now. Convinced that the black cat wouldn't still be on the windowsill, the young man, dragging his weary body, pulled back the curtains. But in the next moment, he saw a familiar figure outside the window. ... Jiang Sheng had thought it would spend the night in the wind and rain. But before it could fully fall asleep, the window above its head was pushed open. Standing in the window was a young man with increasingly heavy bags under his eyes. "Don't you know how to find a place to hide from the rain?" The young man said discontentedly, reaching out to pinch the back of Jiang Sheng's neck. And Jiang Sheng did not struggle. It simply let itself be lifted into the room.