Over the Mountain

CHAPTER 34: FRIEND

There’s something in me that is pulling me to get the rectangular box. The urge to get the box is so strong that I couldn’t stop it. That’s why I made my way towards where the box is. I lift it up and a familiar feeling embraces me.

Marahan kong kinarga ang parihabang kahon at tsaka iyon dinala sa aking higaan. Inilapag ko sa aking harapan at tsaka tinitigan. Kating-kati na ang aking palad na buksan at alamin ang kung anong nasa loob ng kahon ngunit nanatili akong naka-titig doon. Pakiramdam ko, sa oras na buksan ko ay mayroon akong mabubuksan na bagay mula sa aking nakaraan. Takot at pag-asa ang magkahalong nararamdaman ko.

But I choose to be brave. I opened the box, and a fabulous and very ancient necklace welcomes my eyesight. It’s very classic and the materials that were being used are real gems and diamonds! I bit my lower lip as I slowly and carefully hold the necklace. I feel like it’s very fragile and that I need to be careful with it.

Sobrang ganda. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung gaano ito kaganda sa aking paningin. Hinaplos ko ang bawat sulok ng kwintas at tila ba may naaaninag akong imahe sa aking isipin. Isang imahe na konektado sa kwintas na hawak ko. Ngunit kay labo niyon at hindi ko magawang aninagin ng maayos. Kaya naman ay pinag-kasya ko na lang ang aking sarili sa pag-titig at pag-haplos sa kwintas hanggang sa makatulugan ko na ito.

“You drive on your own now,” Erik pointed when we both park our patrol service at the same time.

I lock the car and glance at him. “Yeah. Dad allowed me already.”

“It’s your off now. Anong ginagawa mo rito ngayon?” tanong niya at sabay na kaming naglakad patungo sa station.

“Wala naman akong ibang gagawin. Maigi na iyong dito ako maglaan ng oras.”

Erik chuckles at me. “Mind if invite you in a lunch later?”

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad matapos marinig ang alok niya. Hindi ito ang unang beses na inalok niya ako pero sa mga nakaraang alok niya ay madalas na nagkakaroon ng pagkakataon na may importante kaming gagawin kaya hindi natutuloy. Off duty ko naman ngayon at ganoon din siya. Kaya naman ay wala akong dahilan para tumanggi.

I nod at him, and he then smiled at me.  When we arrived at the station, they were all happily talking together. We greeted each other and later on joins them in their conversation. Not just me nor Erik but everyone who works in our station still goes here even in our off duty. Just like me, for them, it’s better if we spend our off day here in the station and hang around with each other.

When lunch came, both of Erik and I excuse ourselves. Hindi na rin naman nag-usisa pa ang iba. Si Erik ang nagmaneho hanggang sa makarating kami sa mismong bayan ng lugar at doon naghanap ng mapagka-kainan. I ordered a pair of rice and beef food, and he did the same.

“Wala ka pa rin bang naaalala?” tanong niya habang kumakain.

Umiling ako. “Wala pa rin. Though there are some blurry pictures that are flashing in my mind.”

“How about in the mountain? Every time we go up in the mountain. You feel hesitant.”

I sigh. Napansin pala niya iyon. “I have this scared feeling whenever I am about to climb the mountain.”

“Scared?”

Tumango ako. “Pakiramdam ko ay mayroon akong makikita sa loob ng bundok na…takot kong makita? Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang eksaktong nararamdaman ko. Natatakot na nasasabik. Pakiramdam ko ay kabisado ko ang bundok pero…hindi ko naman alam kung saan ang pasikot-sikot.”

Erik nods. “Maybe you really know the mountain,” he stated.

Hindi ako umimik. Pakiramdam ko talaga ay kilala kong lubos ang mga tao sa paligid ko. Lalo na sina Tin, Suzy, at Erik. Pero wala akong maalala. Wala akong matandaan sa kanila. Ni maski isang alaala ko sa kanila kung sakaling kilala ko na sila noon pa man ay wala. Kaya kahit nais kong sabihin na pamilyar sila, nahihiya ako.

But not now. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili kong magtanong. Alam kong kailangan kong maghintay sa tamang panahon kung kailan babalik ang mga alaala ko pero hindi naman siguro masamang kahit ngayon lang ay magtanong ako ng tungkol sa nakaraan ko.

“Erik,”

“Yes, Sierra?”

I sigh. “Are you a part of my past?”

Erik stares at me for seconds after I flash that question. His eyes were expressing a concerning emotion. I could feel that he wants to answer me, but he is still weighing the situation. Crossing my fingers, I beg him. I beg him to answer me. Because I want to know. I badly want to know if they are a big part of my past.

“Yes,” Erik’s answer made my breathing hitch. “Yes, Sierra. We are part of your past.”

I smiled proudly because what I have been feeling since I met them is right.

“Please Erik. Please, I want to hear more. Even the lightest information,”

Erik smiled. “We are schoolmates while Tin and you are classmates. Not just classmates but best friends. The same goes with Suzy.”

Hindi ko alam pero naghintay ako kung mayroon pa bang idu-dugtong si Erik. Bubuka ang kaniyang bibig pero sasara lang din iyon. Pakiramdam ko ay mayroon pa siyang nais sabihin ngunit napipigilan. Habang ako naman ay naghihintay sa hindi malamang dahilan. Tila ba mayroon akong hinihintay na isang spesipikong impormasyon. But Erik stops himself.

Hindi na rin naman ako kumibo pa. Nagpatuloy na kaming kumain at mas lalong naging magaan ang atmospera sa paligid namin ni Erik. At first, I was distant from him. I feel like it’s wrong to get close to him. But now, I felt the opposite right when he said that he is my friend. That what he said on my first day in the mountain has no other meaning. He told me that he willingly takes me as his responsibility because I’m his friend.

But I do feel like there is more reason behind that statement that he is afraid to say.

“How’s the lunch?” Suzy asks when we came back to the station.

I look at her and stared deeply. Her forehead creases. “I already ask Erik. It’s time for me to ask you as well,”

“Ask about what?” she curiously asks.

“About my past,”

“Sierra?” hindi maka-paniwalang tanong niya.

“Nasabi na sa akin ni Erik na kaibigan ko kayo. That we are schoolmates as well.”

“Uh…”

“I just want to know, Suzy. Kahit iyong mga maliliit na bagay na lamang mula sa aking nakaraan. Pakiramdam ko ay kilalang-kilala ko. Ang gaan ng kalooban ko sa inyo. At sa tuwing malapit kayo ay may kakaibang alon ang umaatake sa aking puso. Your smile and your presence are so familiar.”

Suzy purses her lips. Her eyes slowly watered. “Yes, Sierra. We are part of your past. We’re friends, we’re schoolmates. Tama ang pakiramdam mo dahil kilala mo kaming talaga. Matagal din tayong nagkasama.”

My eyes watered as well. Bigla ko na lang niyakap si Suzy at pareho kaming nagsalo sa isang yakap ng tunay na kaibigan. Napaka-pamilyar ng yakap niya. Iyong yakap ng isang kaibigan at nakaka-tandang kapatid.

“You came here when you are still in your grades school,” aniya. “Hindi tayo ang unang nagkasundo. May mas nauna sa aming nakasundo mo. Pagkatapos ay nakilala mo na si Celestine and the two of you becomes friend.”

“Sino iyong nauna?” tanong ko.

“I wanted to answer your questions so bad, Sierra. But I don’t to precede your memories. Ang taong tinutukoy ko ang siyang may pinaka-malaking parte sa iyong nakaraan. Siya ang puno’t dulo ng iyong buhay sa lugar na ito.”

I swallowed hard. Who is that person? Bakit pakiramdam ko ay kilala ko ay ito pero hindi ko lamang maisatinig ang kaniyang pangalan? Who is the person that started my life in this place? Nasaan siya? Bakit hindi siya magawang pag-usapan ni Suzy?

“You love this place very much,” Celestine said who just got arrived at our office. “Hindi rin noong unang beses kang umakyat sa bundok kasama si Erik ang pinaka-unang beses na umakyat ka sa bundok.”

My mouth hangs open. Another blurry image flashes in my mind. It was blurry that I couldn’t recognize when that happen. But one thing is for sure, it was way back when I was still a kid to my teen.

“Maka-ilang beses ka nang naka-akyat sa bundok. Kung tutuusin ay kabisado mo na ang bundok,” pahabol ni Tin.

“I know that it’s hard that you lose your memory. Pero magtiwala ka lamang na babalik din iyan,” si Suzy.

“Pero…pero may pakiramdam akong natatakot sa pagbabalik ng alaala ko,” makatotohanang pahayag ko dahil hanggang ngayon ay ganoon din pa rin ang nararamdaman ko.

Natatakot pa rin ako. May parte pa rin sa puso kong natatakot.

“It’s an involuntary feeling,” Suzy said.

“Dahil may isang tao sa nakaraan mo ang malaking parte ng iyong alaala. At may isang bagay sa nakaraan mo ang lubos na magdudulot sa’yo ng sakit,” pahayag ni Tin na siyang ikina-lakas ng pagpintig ng puso ko.