Words that are Better Left Unspoken

Chapter Four

How could this women who claims to love and cherish me, hide and deceive this entire family!? She also expects honesty from me, yet how long has she hid this from me? I cried until I knew of a way to make myself feel better... I got out of the shower, soaking wet and walked to the shelves in my bathroom where I stored my razor blades and grabbed one to take the pain away.

I return to the shower and slide the metal over my thigh as I exhale a breathe I didn't even knew I was holding in and an all too familiar sting set into affect on my leg.. I knew I was taking the coward's way out of this, but I didn't care, whatever help, helps, and that's all I'm concerned about for the moment. The blood runs down your leg with the water and you let it go for a few minutes to release some of your pain and anger, and then you apply pressure to cease the bleeding. It takes it a while to stop and looking down I see to many scars and feel even more ashamed of myself.

After my forever long shower, I get out and changed into my Hello Kitty PJ and decided to head to bed. I never thought that I would see my horrid mother cheat on my poor Daddy. He deserves so much better. I should tell him! No... I shouldn't. that would break his heart into tiny pieces. I can't believe I am keeping a secret from Daddy. Gosh! I need some f*****g sleep! I can't leave I can't even feel safe in my own home!

As I lie down, I get a chim and that reminds me, I haven't checked my phone in a while, so I look at it to see Marissa texted me to ask to get dinner, which I was too late to reply her an answer and Adie texted and asked how I was doing. I wanted to pour my heart out and confess that the only people who made me feel loved, my parents, showed me tonight that love isn't real and is pointless. All those hours of reading love stories and sobbing in moves are just fantasy because love is a figment, but I replied I was fine and thanked her for her concern because she didn't need to be brought into my messy life after all. I few tears left my check thinking about my mother and I fall asleep within seconds. It's wasn't unusual for me to cry myself to sleep anyways.

***Next Morning**

"Honey, Get up!! you are going to be late for school."Your dad shouted from downstairs.

"No!" I shouted while getting out of bed.

"That's my girl!" my dad shouted which made me feel a little guilty and giggle at the same time. I just ignored the guilt and got out of bed and started your stretches. I stretched every morning, so I can be kind of lose and to wake from your sleep. After stretching I walked to your closet and picked out an outfit.

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Then I did my make up

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Then I brushed my teeth and did my hair

I then walked down the stairs and and entered the kitchen where my dad was.

"Hey! Do you want any waffles?" He asked.

"N-no. I just want yogurt. Okay?" I said nervously.

"Okay, Honey! Have fun at school." He said as I got my yogurt.

"O-o-okay. I-I got to g-go. Bye. I love y-you." I shouted feeling guilty.

I got into my car and texted my friends asking if they were ready.

Adie texted me back first saying she was ready so I went to pick her up first.

I drove into her driveway and she ran out of the house and jumped into the passanger seat. She was always excited to see me, which made my blush. She gushed on and on about a party she went to on the weekend while we picked up Alexis and Marissa who live right next to each other. They all talked about the different parties they went to and boys they made out with. I remained quiet because I didn't reveal what I saw last night on accident and I was never a partier. Hell, I didn't even fit in at school, how could I at a party. My friends are all close to my dad like I am and it would hurt them also

I remained mute despite all the whispers about me going on around us. The bell rang as soon as I reached the door. I walked to my locker when Austin pulled me into the janitor closet, which was right next to my locker, and glared at me with hate and anger.

"I know what your mom did."He whispers. All I do is look up at him. I never noticed how tall he was. "She is so nasty and I just got off the phone with your dad. He's heartbroken. You are a horrible monster. My dad loves my mom and your mom is trying to tear that apart. I see where you got your w***e trait." He said smirking.

I looked down at the floor and became upset. He can ruin my mood no matter what. Plus my dad will surely hate me now.

"You are a terrible sister al-"he said before I interupted him.

"You're a terrible person, Austin! You come to school every day and make me sad! I don't talk because of you! You ruin everything! My family! My reputation! My life! I hate you! You are a cruel monster that loves to hurt other people! I hope you rot in hell. You son of a b***h! You-" I was cut of by him slapping my face. Then I felt a burn. It hurt. I felt the fluid fill my eyes, yet I refused to let them slip!

"You don't deserve any one you have, Austin. You will make a horrible brother, son, husband, father, and boyfriend." I said then I was pushed on the floor and felt pressure on my tummy. Austin was on top of my hitting me every where. I cried right there in front of him. Pain was sent everywhere in my body. I didn't even dare look to see where the hits were coming from but instead squeezed my eyes shut as the tears flooded my face. I have never felt pain like this before. NEVER. My entire sob shock in pain and sorrow. I should've kept my mouth shut.

After about 4 minutes I began to see black. He got off of me, but that didn't clear my vision any better and I laid there sobbing and defenseless. There went my dignity..

"Never insult of parenting skills, b***h!" he screamed and left me there bloody and alone on the janitor's floor