Chapter 5: What I Won’t Admit
800 Words
ASHER’S POV
Sienna doesn’t know how to take a compliment.
She rolls her eyes, brushes things off, shrugs like it doesn’t matter. But tonight, when everyone cheered for her at karaoke, I saw it—that split second where she let herself believe it.
And then, like always, she shoved it down.
“See? Told you you’d kill it,” I had said as we walked out.
She snorted. “Kill what? People’s eardrums?”
I shook my head, biting back a smile. “You’re impossible.”
She smirked. “And you love it.”
I wanted to say something. Maybe something I shouldn’t.
Instead, I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked away.
* * *
By Monday, the whole school knows Sienna’s going to Bryce Holloway’s party.
I hear it in the halls. See it in the texts Jade shoves in her face. And I pretend it doesn’t bother me.
It does.
“Dude, you okay?” Nathan nudges me at our lunch table. “You’re stabbing that sandwich like it insulted your mom.”
I drop my fork. “Fine.”
Nathan raises a brow. “Uh-huh.”
I glance across the cafeteria. Sienna’s at her usual table with Jade, but Bryce is there too, sitting just a little too close. He’s laughing at something she said, leaning in like he’s got a right to.
I force my jaw to unclench.
“You sure you’re fine?” Nathan asks again.
No.
But what am I supposed to say? That I can’t stand the thought of her with Bryce? That I hate how she looks at him the way she used to look at me?
That would be admitting something I don’t want to admit.
So instead, I say, “Yeah. Fine.”
And I force myself to look away.
That night, I’m lying in bed, flipping a pen between my fingers, when my phone buzzes.
Sienna.
Sienna: Can we meet at the park? Need to talk.
I don’t hesitate.
Me: Be there in 10.
* * *
She’s already at the park when I arrive. She’s sitting on our usual bench, staring down at her hands.
Something’s off.
I sit beside her. “You good?”
She nods, then shakes her head. “I don’t know.”
I frown. “What’s going on?”
She exhales. “You know the bucket list?”
“Yeah?”
“There’s an item that says, ‘Confess a secret.’”
I lean back. “Okay…”
She grips the edge of the bench. “I’ve never told anyone this. Not even Jade.”
That gets my attention.
She looks at me, eyes searching, like she’s testing whether she can trust me with whatever she’s about to say.
And then...
“I’m scared of what comes next.”
I blink. “Next?”
“After high school. After… this. I act like I have everything figured out, but I don’t. And everyone expects me to have this perfect plan, but what if I screw it up? What if I leave and regret it? What if I stay and regret it?”
I stare at her. I’ve never heard her talk like this before.
She’s Sienna Green. She’s the girl with a plan. The one who always knows what to say, what to do, where to go.
I didn’t know she felt like this.
I sigh. “Sienna. You don’t have to have it all figured out.”
She shakes her head. “Easy for you to say. You’re going to UCLA. You have a plan.”
I hesitate.
Because the truth is—I don’t.
I mean, yeah, I got into UCLA. Yeah, I’m supposed to go. But I don’t know if it’s what I want.
And what she just said? That she’s scared too?
It makes me want to tell her.
But I don’t.
Instead, I say, “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared, too.”
She blinks. “You are?”
I nod. “I mean, I’ve never been away from home. Never been away from you.”
Her lips part slightly.
I realize what I just said. And for a second, just a second, I wonder if I should take it back.
I don’t.
Instead, I look at her and say, “But we’ll figure it out. Okay?”
She nods slowly. “Okay.”
And then...
She leans her head on my shoulder.
And I don’t move.
I should. I should joke. I should tease her. I should make some stupid comment about how this is so unlike her.
But I don’t.
Because for the first time in a long time, this feels like something I don’t want to ruin.
Even if it means pretending it doesn’t mean more than it does.
- Writer
