Never Goodbye, A Werewolf Romance - (Book 1-The Mist Series)

~Chapter 8 - In Two Minds~

~Joseph~

I took a step after Louise, every inch of my pounding heart craving, begging, and needing to stop her. The memory of almost kissing her, of feeling the electricity sparking between us, was a tangible thing, drawing me forward. But something halted me as though invisible hands held me back.

“No!” Zodiac snarled, his voice so deliriously venomous that I froze. The sound vibrated in my skull, a guttural warning that resonated deep within my bones. “Leave her…”

“What the f**k! Why?” I demanded, pressing a hand to my forehead. A dull ache was building there, a direct result of Zodiac’s volatile outburst. “She’s our mate!”

The viciousness in his demeanour dulled, calming and dissolving with the further Louise and her scent was from us. The air felt less oppressive, less charged.

“Why, Zodiac?” I demanded to know as his onyx claws erupted from my fingers. The transformation was involuntary, a surge of raw power that I hadn’t initiated. “We both wanted that kiss… It wasn’t just me!”

“She’s sick…” he muttered irrationally, his muzzle slick with saliva in my mind. I couldn’t allow him to take over. “And that scent…” he growled, his hackles like needle pins on edge. “It makes me so angry!”

The scent. That strange, cloying aroma of sour caramel and vinegar that clung to Louise, even from a distance. To me, it was unsettling, slightly off-putting, but nothing that warranted this violent reaction from my wolf.

I squinted, shielding my eyes with a hand to scan the area. Louise had vanished. Damn, she’s fast for an omega. A flicker of admiration, a small smile, tugged at my lips, but even that tiny sentiment sent Zodiac into a frenzy. I frowned, confused. The scent was repulsive, twisting my stomach into knots, yet it triggered a primal rage in Zodiac, a deadly fury that threatened to overwhelm me. It took all my willpower to wrestle Zodiac back, to pry his claws away, and finally force a mind-link to Kingston.

“She left…” I growled, dropping onto the bench, my body fighting against my wolf. “I fucken blew it again! Thanks to Zodiac!”

Zodiac growled in response, making his fur prickle through the skin on my wrist, a faint silver-black sheen visible beneath my flesh. But I clamped down on his power, forced him back into the recesses of my mind, locking him away and draining myself further. It was like wrestling a raging wolf with rabies inside my skull.

“Seriously, bro,” Kingston sniggered. “What did you do to the poor girl? Did you try and hump her leg? I knew you were horny for your mate, but seriously?”

“This is not the time to joke around!” I growled back at him, silencing his mocking tone with my alpha tone. Even through the mind link, the weight of my authority was undeniable. “There’s something seriously wrong! And I can’t control Zodiac from escaping. He’s draining me!”

“Sorry, Alpha,” Kingston replied. The levity was gone in his voice, replaced by a genuine concern. “I realise Zodiac wants to be released, but you must keep him locked up. It’s unsafe to shift here… for the students and you. If you revealed your wolf, your old man would shred you to pieces… Me included! And then he would call in the Elders…” his teeth chattered at the mere mention of the mighty power above us. “And I don’t want that!”

“Arh, I know, I’m fucken not stupid!” I murmured, burying my face in my hands. The combination of Zodiac’s erratic behaviour and the looming threat of my father was suffocating. “Besides, Zodiac’s not himself. I’m so fucken confused right now… I want Louise, we both do, but her scent sends Zodiac insane…”

“I can understand…”

“Bullshit!” I snapped at him. “You can’t understand… you won’t understand until you find your fated mate.”

“I might be romantic at heart… but if finding your mate sends your wolf this crazy, then I’m in no hurry.” He replied. “I’m happy just doing my own thing… and Dynamite agrees…”

“When it happens, it will hit you like a freight train,” I warned him with a long breath. I saw Louise’s half-eaten pretzel on the table, discarded like a forgotten hope, and my heart sank. “And just pray to the Moon Goddess that your future mate is healthy… and doesn’t turn Dynamite into a murderous psychopath.”

Zodiac gnarled at that and relinquished his attempt to take over. I breathed a sigh of relief and slumped back against the bench. The relief was fleeting.

“Even if my future mate ends up sick, I would still love her…” Kingston defended himself honestly. “Even if she’s a thousand-year-old witch, a human, or a vampire… I would still love her! And so would Dynamite.”

“It’s not that easy!” I snarled from within my chest—an alpha growl, a mixture of Zodiac and me. The growl was a warning, a reminder of the primal forces at play. “You can disagree with your wolf. Trust me!”

Kingston grew quiet. The weight of my words hung heavy between us.

I exhaled a long breath and swallowed my alpha pride. “I could use a friend, not just a beta…”

“Okay, bro, I’m leaving class now.” He replied, all playfulness gone. “How about we go back to the packhouse for a run, and you can tell me what happened?”

“A run sounds ideal!” The thought of shifting, of letting Zodiac run free in the woods, was a relief to my aching mind.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Our mind-link ended. The silence was deafening, broken only by the distant chatter of students.

“What are we going to do, Zodiac?” I lifted my head as Zodiac whimpered. That anger was now completely gone. A deep cloud of sorrow replaced it, making him shudder. After a minute, he grumbled something incomprehensible and shook his enormous dark silver head.

“I never realised how fucken Jekyll and Hyde you are, Zodiac…” I said, closing my eyes to focus on him. Somehow, I had to understand. “How is this going to work?”

“She smells odd…” He huffed in my mind. “I know she’s our mate, and I like how she stood up for herself,” he grinned, baring his dangerous canines, then sobered and growled. “But that smell… I can’t tell if it’s a part of her sleeping wolf or something more. It angers me… And it’s too early to tell if we can get over that and love her and her wolf.”

“I like her.” I defended, my insides warming again, making hidden parts of my body uncomfortable. Even just thinking about her, about her strength and her vulnerability, stirred something deep within me. “She’s got spirit, and we need that in a Luna. And she’s pretty… I can imagine her naked body waiting for us…”

He salivated at the image I offered, then instantly sobered. “She’s sick.” He growled, irritated, sending a jolt of pain through my head, nullifying the arousal. “And your father will refuse a sick mate… He might even exile her!” He whined, wounded by the thought. After a moment, he growled again.

“Exile?” I asked, my heart tightening at the thought, but knowing I might need to do it. “Rejection?”

“Rejection is painful…” Zodiac added, solidifying my fears. “But seeing her exiled could be crippling…”

“I hate it when you have a point! Stupid beast!” I focussed on him. “But we need time…”

“Humph…” Zodiac huffed.

I focussed on the moment I kissed the corner of Louise’s warm lips, grazing my kiss across her jaw, the pull towards her intensifying. Her skin was soft, her breath warm and inviting. Zodiac had felt it, too.

“Stop!” Zodiac demanded, piecing my brain with sharp claws.

My head throbbed, pounding behind my right eye. I pressed my palm to my eyes and winced. “Stupid beast!”

He muttered an incomprehensible response and then retreated into my thoughts.

Rejection. The thought slithered around my mind, unbidden and unwelcome. Could I reject her? Could I walk away from the bond, from the promise of a life together? The idea was repugnant, yet the fear gnawed at me. A Luna who was sick, who might not bear heirs, who might… die. The responsibility was crushing.

Cancer! Louise has cancer! The moment those words left Louise’s mouth, my heart shattered. Even now, the shock reverberated in my chest. But rejection… I can’t reject her… Can I? s**t!

“Joseph… Joseph Black?” The sound of my name pulled me from the abyss of my thoughts. I lifted my head, and the sight before me was like a sudden burst of sunlight on a cloudy day.

A woman stood there, radiating confidence and grace. She was tall, with a figure that spoke of hidden strength and undeniable allure. Her deep, chocolate-brown eyes sparkled with intelligence that both intrigued and intimidated me. She was an explosion of curves in an elegant, ruffled, white off-the-shoulder shirt, perfectly tucked into a knee-length black skirt. Her long, silky brown hair cascaded in near-perfect ringlets down her shoulders, brushing against a stack of paperwork she held with delicate, manicured hands.

“Sorry to bother you,” she smiled, her full, luscious ruby lips curving into a captivating expression. I found myself momentarily speechless, her presence a welcome distraction from the turmoil within. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re upset.” Her face was kind, her voice a whimsical song. “Are you okay?”

Zodiac growled deep within me, a primal warning. He didn’t like this interruption, this disruption to our grief. He tugged at my consciousness, trying to pull me back from whatever hypnotic spell this stranger seemed to weave. I shook my head, trying to regain my composure.

“Wait,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “How do you know my name?”

Zodiac sniffed the air. “She smells like apples,” he commented. “She’s not our mate, but…” He wagged his tail once. “Wow…”

“Yes, sorry,” she giggled, a sound that rippled through me, surprisingly pleasant. “My name is Maddison Martinez. I’m visiting from the Sunset Clan as a Clover High representative with a few prospective student files to your principal.” She inched closer, her curved hips swaying slightly. “You might not remember me, but there was a gathering between our packs two years ago… My Alpha Tyson signed a treaty with your Alpha George… and we met during the dinner.”

“We did?” I blinked, searching through my memories.

She smiled softer, and a faint flicker of recognition sparked in my mind. I recalled the alpha family—Alpha Tyson Peache, his Luna Tiana. We had met while signing the treaty with my father. I recalled their young son, Peter, a whirlwind of energy who kept his nanny on her toes. But a girl like her? Nothing. “I’m sorry, I remember the meeting, but not you…”

“We ran into each other on the stairs to the packhouse,” she said, her shoulder shaking with laughter. “Peter, the little scamp, tripped me over on the steps of the packhouse, and you caught me before I fell…”

I scratched my head. Why didn’t any of it ring a bell? “Sorry, I honestly don’t remember.”

Her smile faltered, but her face remained a portrait of calm and poise. She offered her hand. “Well, in that case, I should start from the beginning… My name is Maddison Martinez, daughter of Beta Gabriel of the Sunset Clan, and it’s officially nice to meet you, Joseph Black… alpha son of the Mist Clan.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” I said, taking Maddison’s soft hand and shaking it. Her touch was surprisingly firm, confident.

She was undeniably pretty, and her lineage was respectable. But I couldn’t shake the image of Louise, her brown eyes pleading, her mouth soft against mine. When Louise’s wolf awakened, I would finally see the moonlight shimmer that marked her as my mate, the undeniable sign that linked us to the Moon Goddess. It would look stunning in her brown eyes. The thought sent a surge of heat through me, but I pushed it down, afraid Maddison might get the wrong impression.

“Enough…” Zodiac huffed, more insistent this time.

I knew he was feeling something, a pull perhaps, but he was fighting it. So, I ignored him.

“Yo, Joseph… My man, the shackles of education have released me… I’m finally free…” Kingston sang as he hopped over the bench, slid across the top of the table, and came to sit beside me. I dropped Maddison’s hand as he shook my shoulder. “So, tell me, what happened? What did I miss? Where did Louise go?”

Behind him, chattering students filled the yard, hurrying towards the food van. Maddison sidestepped, avoiding a horde of humans who rushed past her, unfazed by her presence. One boy sighed longingly over his shoulder before his friend towed him away. Maddison didn’t have her wolf yet, but it couldn’t be too far away from awakening.

Maddison cleared her throat, the paperwork rustling in her hands. “Umm, excuse me? Hi…”

We both peered at her, blinking against the sun’s mute glare.

“We were in the middle of something…” she continued, gesturing her chin in my direction.

“Oh, sorry,” Kingston said with a knowing smirk in my direction. He knew. He had been listening. Werewolf hearing! He flicked his white hair behind his ears, causing a collective sigh from a group of teenage girls nearby. “I didn’t realise we had company.”

“Clearly,” Maddison clucked under her breath, still holding her composure.

“Right, introductions,” I gestured from one to the other. “Kingston, this is Maddison… the daughter of Beta Gabriel from the Sunset Clan. And Maddison, this is Kingston, my future beta… pack gossiper and conversation ruiner…”

Maddison offered a smile that didn’t reach her eyes as they nodded at each other.

Kingston didn’t seem interested in her company and turned back to me. “Not all the time,” Kingston defended with a cocky grin. “Sometimes I’m a cockblocker too… but only when my alpha needs me to be… Other than that, I’m pretty chill…”

I shot him a cautious glare, and he offered a jester laugh in return. Smartarse!

“I was about to ask Alpha Joseph if he was free later…” Maddison said, focussing on me and ignoring my Beta, utterly unaffected by his brazen words. “I know this pizza place down the road from here. Would you like to join me there after school?”

“Me?” I blinked up at her. I had been asked out on a date and honestly didn’t know how to respond, but the idea was growing in merit. A date with Maddison could be a distraction, a brief escape from the suffocating reality of Louise’s illness.

“Dude,” Kingston mind-linked me, his voice bordering on annoyance. His grim expression showed no doubt that he had read my thoughts or, at the least, seen it plastered all over my face. “You can’t seriously think about saying yes to this girl? She’s not your mate!”

“But my mate is sick…” I reminded him as the image of her brown eyes peering up at me through those dark lashes filled my thoughts. I shook off the thought, my pride getting the better of me. “Besides, her scent sends Zodiac insane…”

“Humph…” Zodiac snorted in response.

“I don’t know about this…” Kingston warned, propping his forearms against his legs, attempting to portray a portrait of nonchalance. The muscles in his arms twitched, drawing another collective sigh through the air. “The Luna will freak out if she finds out you let your fated mate go for another!”

“Mum would freak out if she knew my fated mate had cancer!” I exhaled, rubbing my temples. “And not to mention what my old man would do…”

“Cancer… Oh, I didn’t know…” Kingston downcast his eyes. A shadow of sadness consumed him as he crossed his arms over his knees and shook his head. “Damn, bro… That’s harsh… I’m so sorry… that poor girl…”

“So, now you can see my dilemma…”

Knitting his fingers together, Kingston shook his head and said nothing.

“It can’t hurt to see what happens with Maddison.” I elbowed his arm. “Can it?”

“Your funeral,” He glanced sideways up at me, and I saw pain flickering in the moonlight glow of his eyes. “Why don’t we go for a run instead? It will clear your mind… We can talk about your mate…”

“We can do that tonight, at the packhouse…”

Kingston scoured in disapproval. “Seriously, bro, I don’t know… You will regret this…”

“We’ll see…”

After a second, I stood and offered Maddison my arm. She took it, thankful I was no longer ignoring her. “I’m sorry about that… alpha business…”

“I understand…” she replied, caressing my arm. The skin beneath her touch prickled, a sensation both invigorating and strangely disconcerting.

I nodded towards the doors leading into the school. “I can show you where the principal’s office is. And we can discuss this date…”

“That would sound wonderful,” she beamed at me, ignoring Kingston’s disapproving glare.

Kingston shook his head again, then stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’re doing the wrong thing, Joseph…”

“We’ll see…” I turned away from my beta, expecting something—anything from my wolf, but Zodiac had gone silent, withdrawn.

“I’m not just saying it as your Beta… but as your best friend…”

I peered over my shoulder at him as he stood surveying me—an unmoving statue whose eyes were fixed on mine. He remained silent, yet his gaze spoke volumes. Was Kingston right? Had fear and grief driven me to make a terrible mistake—to abandon my fated mate for a mere distraction?