The Little Rose

What Will Happen to Me?

When I woke later that day, I felt like there was an inferno wrapped around me, the electricity dancing across my skin was a tell-tell sign that Orion was lying with me. Snuggling back into his hold and closing my eyes, I just enjoyed the moment, soaking in the feeling of being in his arms.

“Good morning my Little Rose.” Orion’s chest rumbled against my back as he spoke, his face nuzzling into my hair and neck as he breathed my scent into his lungs with a contented sigh. “I can’t express how much I have missed waking up to this scent.”

His words brought a wave of memories to the forefront of my mind reminding me what had sent me into the darkness in the first place. Pushing away from Orion, I jumped from the bed and rushed for the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me and flicking the lock even as Orion called to me, asking what had happened.

I felt like I was going to be sick, my stomach was turbulent and rolling as the knowledge that I was housing Orion’s mate inside my body flooded my mind. She was the voice I heard in my head, the other soul I felt within myself. She was the entire reason I felt the connection I did with Orion, the electricity that sprung up between us whenever we touched, the scent that Orion found so alluring. All of it was her. Bile rushed up my throat and I ran for the toilet, throwing up the seat while I became sick into the bowl.

When my stomach had calmed and I felt safe backing away, I fell to my hands and knees and crawled away from the porcelain bowl, lying on my side in the corner of the washroom, curling into a ball as wave after wave of emotions rushed through me.

I had felt that I was meant to be with Orion, I was meant to be his mate, another chance after the loss of his first. I had thought that he was mine, and I was his, but this the case at all; he was hers and she was his. I was just the soul that stood between them being happy again. Gracie had told Orion last night that I was not Odette, her spirit had moved on to the next realm… Who was I?

“Roisin?”  Orion called from the bathroom door, his hand banging softly on the wood. “Is everything okay?”

Closing my eyes tightly, I pretended I could not hear him, that I was not here, but back on the island, in the cabin where all of this had started. I wanted to be oblivious to the fact that I was no one, that I was just an obstacle to be fixed so Orion and Gracie could be together again.

“Roisin! Come on now, open the door.”  He was getting frustrated, but I did not care, he was not the victim in this scenario, I was, he could just wait a damned minute while I figured out my thoughts on the latest info I had learned. “Open the door or I’m going to kick it in, Roisin! You’re scaring me.” 

“Leave her alone, clearly she doesn’t want to speak with you if she isn’t answering.”  Nullar’s sleep roughed voice grumbled at Orion. I had not even seen him in the room when I had fled to the bathroom, but he must have been sleeping on the couch.

“Stay out of this, it’s none of your business.”  Orion growled back, before softening his voice to beseeching me again. “Roisin, please, you are worrying me. I just want to know you are okay.”

“None of my business? Do you forget she’s, my fiancée?”

“Ex-fiancée, Odette is gone, my mate is in her body. How many times do we need to have this discussion?”  Orion snarled back, I could hear his footsteps moving away from the bathroom door, most likely going to confront Nullar.

“So you say, but we don’t have proof of that. Roisin could very well be Odette and the loss of memory caused by your mate taking over a body that was not hers to claim.”  Nullar now sounded just as angry as Orion, and I knew a fight was going to break out soon. Did I care enough to interject myself into their argument? Or was I perfectly fine with them beating each other to a bloody pulp?

“Go to them, calm them before they fight.”  The voice in my mind, I know knew was Gracie, pleaded with me.

“Why should I? Orion is your mate and Nullar loves Odette who is apparently gone, neither of the men fighting over this body are truly fighting for me. I am nothing, no one. No one cares for me, so why should I care for them?”  I demanded back, throwing every bit of venom I felt at this situation into my words, directing my anger at her, this was all her fault after, if she had just moved on and reincarnated as she was supposed to, none of this would have happened.

“If none of this had happened, Orion would still be a shell of a man fighting a force much stronger than him in hope of keeping the world safe... he wasn’t living, he was surviving.”  Gracie added sadly, pleading for her mates case.

“Do the rest of us in this situation mean nothing? Nullar lost his fiancée and yet, he did not. How is he supposed to grieve the loss of his fiancée if her body is still breathing, walking, and talking. How is he supposed to get any semblance of peace? Then there is me, I do not even know who I am Gracie! If I am not Odette and I am not you, then who am I?”

“You are my wolf spirit.”  Gracie whispered.

Wolf spirit? We were a Siren now, not a wolf? And if I were a wolf, why could I not remember anything? How had I come to be here? Her answers constantly just gave me more questions. “Your wolf spirit? As in, from your first life?”

“Yes, I didn’t know you were attached to me as well, I thought you had moved on to the Goddess’s realm for all of her wolves. But we were best friends and can be again. A witch can fix us.”  She sounded sweet, friendly, I knew she was someone I could easily like in any other scenario, but as of now, her words scared me.

“Fix us?” I asked, pushing off the chilly bathroom floor and facing the bathroom door, where I could hear Nullar and Orion still arguing. “You mean have a witch push me to the back of our mind and give you the reigns, right?”

“Well, yes, but that’s how it’s supposed to be. The human soul controls the human body while the wolf spirit controls their wolf form.”

“Do we even know if we have a wolf form?! Or are you just more than willing to push me to the back of your mind forever? Never to be allowed to interact without your permission?” She was more than willing to banish me to a bleak and lonely life, at the back of her mind where she could forget me. Where the amazing world I had just started to understand would only be visible through her eyes.

“It’s how things are done.”  Gracie answered softly, confirming my fears. I cut our connection and forced her down. I needed to be alone in my mind for a bit.

“Say that again, mutt!” I heard Nullar holler, followed by a growl that could only come from Orion. Forcing myself to my feet, I strode to the bathroom door and flung it open, glaring at them both in anger as they turned to stare at me in surprise.

“Really? Why can’t the two of you just get along! All of this is hard enough on me with you constantly adding to it! Orion, I needed alone time, which is why I barred the door against you, you should respect my wishes! Didn’t you get frustrated with me for the same behavior on the Island? Why are you allowed to have time to yourself to think, but I am not?”  Orion looked sheepishly at the floor, rubbing one arm with the other. “All of this is hard for all of us, so it would be nice if you two could have a little compassion, not only for me but for each other.”

“You are right Princess, I am sorry.”  Nullar spoke up first, bowing his head slightly towards me, after which he moved to the couch to grab his shirt and pull it over his head.

“I’m sorry, Roisin.”  Orion added, acting to move towards me before I raised my hand, telling him to stop. “It’s almost time for dinner.”  He added, glancing at the clock on the far wall. “We should head down soon, I’m sure you must be hungry after missing lunch.”

He was right, I was starving, even though my stomach was still rolling around uncomfortably. “I need a shower, but I’ll hurry and finish so we an all head down together.” Shuffling my feet anxiously I looked down before adding quietly. “Unless you would rather go down without me? I can meet you there…”

“Not at all, I would much rather go down with you, Roisin. I’ll get changed while you shower and grab our stuff, so you have clean clothes to put on after your shower.”  Orion answered immediately, surprised I would even suggest us going down separately.

“I will wait for you both as well.” Nullar added, sitting on the couch, and crossing his hands behind his head, the very picture of relaxation.

Twenty minutes later I had scrubbed myself clean from head to toe, and they had been right, I felt much better after my shower. I fingered the bracelet on my wrist, marveling at how the stone had truly helped me to now transform against my will in the shower. I definitely wanted one of these as soon as possible, though how long it would be for my use, I was not sure. If Gracie and Orion got their way, I would be pushed to the dark corners of my own mind soon.

I could not think like that now, it would only depress me, and I wanted to enjoy the time I had left, however long it was.

Orion handed me a pair of black leggings with a long purple shirt through the cracked bathroom door, saying he had a pair of flats for me when I came out. Another ten minutes and I had towel dried my hair to the best of my abilities, brushed it out and loosely braided the bright red curls to fall over my shoulder. I had to admit, I looked much better with my skin and hair clean, and the purple was a pretty shade with my pale skin and crimson hair.

Walking into the bedroom I was pleasantly surprised to see Orion and Nullar sitting on the couch silently, they were not talking but they also were not fighting, baby steps. They stood up when I exited the bathroom, both smiling at me warmly.

“Well, I’m ready.”  I muttered, twisting my hands nervously behind my back.

“Almost, but not quite.” Orion said as he stepped forward holding a pair of black shoes in his hands. “I guessed at your size, but I hope they fit well enough until we can get you others.” Bending down in front of me, Orion took my left foot and slid it into the simple black slippers, looking up at me curiously when he had it on. “How does it fit?”

“Perfectly.” I gulped, his silvery-blue eyes always made the butterflies in my stomach take flight, and the electricity dancing between us from his hands on my skin did not help the sensation. Hearing my assessment of the shoe on my foot, Orion smiled up at me in triumph, making those beautiful eyes dance with mirth.

“Excellent.”  Putting down my left foot, he lifted my right and slipped the next shoe on. I ignored the storm building in my abdomen and turned to walk from the room with Orion and Nullar following along behind me on our way to dinner.

Supper was uncomfortable to say the least, no one seemed sure of how to act with Orion present and Nullar glared at anyone who ventured to pull him into conversation. In all it was a tension filled meal that had my already tense constitution in a whirlwind. I managed to force down a few bites of soup and salad but when the main course was brought out the smell of the red meat made me queasy. Dismissing myself to go to the restroom, I managed to sneak out the back door, gulping in the fresh, crisp, night air.

It was getting late, but out of respect for the royalty they had under their roof, the Alpha had decided to hold dinner until Orion and his guests had come down for dinner. I was not sure of the time exactly, but I knew it was after normal dinner times. The back porch had a row of lounge chairs that overlooked the in-ground pool and the forest beyond it, and with the way I was feeling I knew walking back into that house anytime soon would send me running straight back out here. Best to sit and relax while the others ate, so that I would not have lose what little nutrition I had managed to scarf down.

Lying there, staring up at the night sky, I debated on pulling Gracie to the fore front of my consciousness so we could talk, so I could get answers. True answers, not the half truths she kept giving me. A sound to my left grabbed my attention and spinning towards the edge of the porch I was surprised to see a woman standing there, her head barely visible through the bars of the porch’s rail.

“Hello?”  I called to her, sitting up in my chair to attempt to get a better look. She seemed to be trying to hide, but with such bright platinum blonde hair it seemed too silly to attempt to hide in the open. “I can see your hair; I know you are there?”

“Damn,” I heard her grumble under her breath, stepping around the porch and walking up the stairs, confronting the person who had found her out. She was beautiful, with white-blonde hair and dark blue eyes and a facial structure that screamed model. She was also tall, as tall as I was if not taller, hard to tell while sitting. “Hi.”  She said, adjusting the strap of the backpack on her shoulder and her long fingers swiping up to move her straight as a bone hair behind her ears.

“Hi.”  I repeated back, offering a friendly smile. “Do you want to sit a talk a bit?”

“You wouldn’t wan to talk with me, I’m not that interesting.”  She answered back, looking towards the pack house nervously, why was she so anxious? Was she hiding from someone in the pack?

“You look awfully interesting to me. Are you scared of someone inside?”  When her dark blue eyes snapped back at me in question, I shrugged my shoulders. “You keep looking at the door is all, as if you were scared of someone coming out of it.”

“Oh, no, I’m not frightened. Anxious would be a more appropriate word.”  She answered back, scoffing at the word frighted, clearly thinking herself above fear.

“Okay, then what are you anxious over?”

“I met a man today, he came from this pack house, I think he may be…” She trailed off, glancing at the door before laughing sarcastically and looking back towards the forest, like she was going to run. “Never mind, it’s beyond ridiculous to even contemplate.”

“I wouldn’t know unless you told me what it is you think he may be?” I pointed to the lounge chair beside me and waved her over. “Come on, sit a bit and let us figure this out? I’m not sure how I can help but sometimes just talking to someone else can help right?”

“I guess.”  She muttered, taking small, measured steps towards me before throwing a leg over the lounge chair, straddling it with her backpack between her legs, both hands resting on the top of her bag.

“So, the man you ran into today, a wolf?”  I asked as I relaxed back on my lounger again, looking at the stars and counting the satellites I could see drifting leisurely across the sky.

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Human than?”

“No, I don’t think so.”  Frustration was lacing her tone; I got the sense she was not used to not knowing something.

“By the way, my name is Roisin, what about you?”  It was weird to constantly think of her as ‘her’ and ‘she,’ if we were going to converse, we might as well know each other’s names, right?

“Isabella?”  The girl I was attempting to start a conversation with and my own head both snapped towards the door to the porch and the two men now standing there. Orion was staring at Isabell as if she were a puzzle he could not quite figure out, while Nullar was watching her with a warm smile curving his lips. I had not seen that smile but a handful of times myself, and never directed at anyone but me, who was this girl and how did Nullar now her? Was he the man she had met today?

“Nullar.”  Isabella gasped as she jumped to her feet and grabbed her backpack, holding it in front of her like it was a shield to protect herself.

“What are you doing here?”  Nullar asked as he stepped towards her, Orion went around them both, coming to sit on the lounger next to mine, one hand reaching over to take my own in his warm grip. Isabella seemed to watch Orion closely as he crossed the porch, but once he sat with me, she directed her attention to Nullar once more, though she did not speak up. “Did you come back to see me?”

“You aren’t conceited at all, are you?”  Isabella muttered, rolling her eyes, Nullar just smiled at her, one eyebrow c*cking upward as he watched her with amusement dancing through his eyes.

“I wouldn’t say I’m conceited.”  He joked back. Nullar’s attitude had me and Orion sharing questioning glances, though neither of us seemed to have answers.

“Oh you wouldn’t huh? Maybe I’m a part of this pack? Maybe my being here has nothing to do with you?”  Isabella snapped back, tossing her backpack over one shoulder, and popping one hip to the side to set her hand upon.

“Unlikely.”  Orion interjected, shrugging when three sets of eyes landed on him in surprise.

“And why is that?” She demanded, turning on Orion, and for the briefest second, I would have sworn I saw her blue eyes flash black.

“Because you’re a Lycan.” Orion stated, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Isabella was staring at him in opened mouth shock.

“I am not!”  Isabella yelled at Orion, taking a step towards him. Orion rose from his seat, facing Isabella with a dark look on his face, as he stared at her his silvery-blue eyes flashed a glowing white, her own glowed white for the briefest moment in turn before flickering out. The action must have either shocked her or tired her, because Isabella stumbled back, her now blue eyes wide in shock as she stared back up at Orion. “What did you do to me?”

“I called on your Lycan, pulling her forward. You are a Lycan.” I recognized that rough voice, Odin. Orion’s eyes lost their flow and his beautiful color returned, along with a smile on his face as he watched Isabella. “See, Odin can pull Lycan and wolf spirits forward, the fact hat your eyes glowed white, even for a fleeting time, proves you are a Lycan.”  As he lowered back to his seat beside me, Orion’s head tilted just slightly to the side as he watched the shocked expression’s cross Isabella’s face. “You didn’t know?”

“No, I thought I was just a special wolf with out a wolf spirit.”  She mumbled, hugging her bag tightly to her chest as Nullar stood behind her, his own worried expression in place as he watched the entire scene play out.

“Without a wolf spirit? You have one, I pulled her forward. She’d never spoken to you?”

“No, never.”  Isabella breathed, moving back to the lounge chair she had vacated earlier, to slink down on to.

“Your parents never told you?”  Orion asked, reaching over to take my hand in his again, and for once, Nullar was not glaring at the contact, instead his focus was on Isabella.

“My mother died when I was little and my father…” Isabella glanced at Orion fleetingly before staring back at her backpack.” He did not tell me before he died. I was told I was a wolf born without a wolf spirit.”

“You were lied to, you have a Lycan spirit, but it’s been repressed somehow… Most likely with magic if I had to guess.”  Orion added softly.

“The witches at your sisters pack, can they help bring her Lycan out?” If they could make me a transformation stone and figure out what was going on with the souls in my body, perhaps they could also help a Lycan regain her Lycan Spirit.

“I’m not sure, it’s worth asking them though. Speaking of which I should call her, I was waiting for after dinner, but now it’s so late.”  He seemed nervous to call his sister, which I understood having known his history. He had not spoken with his family since he had lost his mate seven years ago, it was going to be an awkward call for him to make.

“I’m here with you.”  I whispered as I squeezed his had a little tight, flashing him an encouraging smile. After taking a deep breath, Orion nodded his head and slipped his phone out of his pocket, flipping it open and turning it on.

“So wait, you’re inviting me to come on some trip with you all? You barely know me.”  Isabella asked, clearly baffled at the turn of events.

“Of course, if we can help, we’d be glad to.”  Her eyes watched me as I spoke with an odd look in them, my instincts said she was at odds with herself, though I was not sure why. Meanwhile Nullar, standing in the background, was trying to hold back a smile I also did not understand.

A ringing jingle interrupted our conversation, drawing all our eyes to the phone in Orion’s hand. “Well, that’s odd. She’d calling me.”  Clicking the answer button, Orion glanced at me as he spoke. “Hello? Luna!” After a short pause, his voice rose a fraction. “Luna? Are you there?”

His sister spoke for a moment, Nullar, Isabella and I sharing a look. “Alive.” Orion answered whatever Luna had asked him, followed by, “I’m glad you called though, I need your help.”  A short pause. “Not over the phone, can I come up there?”  Taking a deep breath he lowered his voice before continuing. “I need you all… please.”

Nullar and I shared another wide-eyed look while Orion continued with his conversation. “Thank you, runt, we’ll be there soon.” Then, without even saying goodbye, he ended the call and dropped the phone into his lap with a heavy sigh.

“You were awfully vague.”  I muttered in observation.

“She knows we’re coming, and I was vague because I never know who’s listening in on our calls.”

“Who would be listening in on your calls with your family? Or at all for that matter?” Nullar asked, confusion coloring his words.

“The Night Walkers.”  Orion said, leaving the explanation at that. But I saw the way his face tightened, we all must have because no one asked any other questions.