Yesterday's Pain

Chapter 4

I woke up a little bit energetic in the morning it might be the effect of Andrew's action, not the cheating part but the concern he has shown to me. Maybe it is part of human nature to filter out all the sad memories and keep only the good ones when we are in love. We always look at the good things they have done for us so we tend to forget that at some point they have hurt us more than they love us. That is the reason why leaving someone we love is hard because no matter how many times they wreck us, we will always choose to look at those moments that made us happy, even though it just happened once.

Wearing my white tee shirt and denim pants I got out of my room. I walked into the kitchen even though it means remembering what just happened a few hours ago. I need to cook breakfast for Andrew, he needs to go to work and it is my duty as a wife to cook him food. When I entered the kitchen I saw Andrew eating his breakfast. He is now in his working clothes. A white button-down shirt paired with black slacks and a necktie hanging loosely on his neck. I came close to him and hold his necktie to fix it but he removed my hands, it hurts big time but I still flashed a sweet smile.

"I can do that, just leave." He didn't even ask me to eat breakfast with him. Maybe he prefers eating alone, I should try my best to understand him.

"I will now go to school, I might come home late since one of my block mates invited me to a party," I informed him and I saw his forehead crease.

" Is your block mate a boy or a girl?" He asked in a serious tone while looking at me intently and I cannot stop myself from smiling. Is he jealous?

"What are you smiling at?" He raised one of his eyebrows and wiped the side of his lips. I don't want to answer him because it is just a silly thought. He doesn't even love me so why would he feel jealous?

"Don't you dare stain my name Lauren, you are my wife so you should act like one?" For the nth time, he hurt my feelings again without his knowing, or maybe he knew he just didn't care at all.

"Do you find our setup unfair Lauren?" I wanted to say yes, everything is so f*****g unfair. Everything is in his favor. He can do anything he wants while my actions are limited. I wanted to tell him that I also have my conditions but I have no strength to do so. I have no right to demand, I am aware of that the moment I said yes to his proposal. I already pictured myself as a submissive wife to Andrew and I think it would be easy since I love him so much but when you are already in that moment everything is so hard. Being submissive is painful but I have no choice.

"Do you find our setup unfair Lauren?" He asked again so I shook my head.

"Good." He then stood up and kissed my forehead, then he whispered in my ear.

"You can f**k any guy you want Lauren just don't get caught ." Even though he smiled at me he still looked like a f*****g devil.

"Let's go you will be late for your class." I nodded again like a scared puppy. I followed him until we reached the condominium's parking lot. I sat on the passenger seat quietly. I am afraid to talk because I might piss him and he will say hurtful words that will ruin my day. The drive was boring and it feels like it has taken forever. When we reached my school's gate I immediately remove my seatbelt and I was about to open his car door when he stopped me. He handed a black credit card. I looked at him confused, why is he giving me a black card? I never thought that I will be able to see a black credit card personally. I only see those on television.

"Use this to buy your needs. Buy whatever you want." I pushed his hand and shake my head nonstop as a sign that I am rejecting his offer.

"I won't accept that, I have my own money, and besides I am planning to look for a part-time job so you don't need to shoulder my expenses." I don't know if he will allow me to do that but I wish he will.

"Do you think I will allow my wife to look like a f*****g beggar?" That question shows how he hates the idea of me working. So I looked down and played with my fingers to distract myself and to stop myself from talking back. He once again extended the card so I took it even though it is against my will.

"If your pride cannot take it just think of it as a debt and pay me once you graduate."

"Thank you," I said shyly and I get off his car. I waited for his car to leave and when it did I entered our school gate and started walking faster because I am sure I am late for my class. I can arrive on time only if Andrew didn't hand me a black credit card which created a small argument. I entered the door of our room and everyone looked at me. I should have come earlier. I hate the attention that I am getting.

"Congratulations on your wedding Mrs. Gray." Our professor greeted me so I smiled at her. When she called me Mrs. Gray I felt butterflies in my stomach and I felt so happy. While walking on my chair my classmates congratulated me and told me that I am so lucky because I married Andrew Callan Gray. They asked me questions about how did I meet Andrew. Why did our marriage happen so suddenly? I am uncomfortable answering their questions and I am glad that our professor stopped them and started discussing the lesson. The class took almost three hours and it is exhausting so I decided to go to our school's football field. I want to breathe some fresh air and I am hoping to see Adam there or even Maddie. I want to ask them if they are okay, and I want to ask how is my Dad doing.

I am currently walking to our football field when I saw Madie with her friends. I waved my hand at her but she ignored me and passed by me like she didn't know me at all. It hurts watching her walk away from me. I thought she will understand because more than my Dad and Adam she knows how much I love Andrew. Maybe she just needs time and space so I will give her that. I continued walking and when I reach our school's football field I saw Adam playing with his friends. I sat on the bench and waited for them to finish the game. When they are done I came near him and handed him a bottle of water, I thought he won't accept it, and he will ignore me as Madie did but I was wrong, he took it. I smiled widely and because of too much happiness I hugged him and I felt him hugging me back. After a while, I felt someone join the hug and when I look who it was, it was Maddie, my best friend who ignored me earlier. My tears started to fall. I tried to stop myself from sobbing but I can't so Adam broke off the hug and hold my face to wipe my tears.

"Why are you crying?" He asked full of concern in his voice but I couldn't answer him.

"Stop crying b***h, I am sorry about earlier. I promised Adam that I won't talk to you because you betrayed us but this asshole broke his own promise." Madie hits Adam's head to release her frustration.

"She offered me water and I am f*****g thirsty." Adam defended himself.

"So water is the reason why you didn't ignore me?" I crossed my arms on my chest and raised my eyebrow.

He hugged me again. "I am just kidding Lauren, you know that I cannot resist you right?" My heart melted when I heard that. I felt relieved because finally, I got the chance to talk to them again. I still have someone to lean on.

"But what happened?" My provocative moment with Adam was cut off when Madie interrupted.

"All I remember was I left you in the bar alone and then the next day I found out that you'll get married not just with some random guy but with Andrew, the man of your dreams. What did I miss? Like what the f**k?" Confusion was written on her face and I cannot blame her. Everything happens in just a snap. For the past few days, I am just dreaming of marrying Andrew and in the next few days, my dreams became my reality.

"When you left me at the bar, Andrew approached me, and maybe because I am a little bit tipsy at that time I confessed to him. I told him that I knew him since I interviewed him for our school paper. He told me that I have no idea who he is so I narrated all the things that he loves and hates as well. He wasn't impressed, he contradict all the information I have stated and he cut me off by saying that the man I am talking about is already dead. If I want to know the real Andrew Callan Gray, I should marry him, and I said yes because I love him, and that reason is enough for me to agree to his proposal." Madie being a drama queen stood up and hold my head as if something is wrong with me.

"Do we need to admit her to the nearest mental hospital, Adam?" She turned her gaze on Adam and waited for an answer. I slapped her hands so she let go of my head. She messed up my hair so I combed it using my finger.

"And your father allowed you to marry him because?" Madie won't stop questioning me until she gets all the information that she wants so I should prepare myself for a long conversation.

"I told my Dad that I am pregnant and Andrew is the father of my child." I feel guilty for saying those lies.

"And he believed it?" I nodded at Madie and she covered her mouth that is wide open because of shock.

"Mr. Smith is aware that you are lying, Lauren." Adam looked into my eyes and it feels like he is looking directly at my soul.

"Your father is not dumb. He knows that you and Andrew have no connection at all so you being pregnant is beyond impossible, but he chose to make it look like he believes in your lies because he hates seeing the desperation in his daughter's eyes. You hurt your father Lauren, you know that right?" Adam's words feel like knives that stabbed my chest. I started crying because guilt is slowly eating me up.

"How can I make it up to him?" I want to know so badly how can my father forgive me after all the pain that I have caused him.

"Just show him how happy you are with the decision that you have made. That is every parent's dream right, to see their child being happy with the path they have taken?" Madie's suggestion is right. I should show my father that I am happily married to Andrew so he won't be worried. Besides, that is the reason why he is mad at me because he is worried.

"Are you happy Lauren?" Adam asked sincerely and I was about to cry when I heard his question, I don't know if I am even happy with this new life. I am happy but at some point, some part of me regrets this decision. But I have sacrificed enough I won't let all those be put in vain. I will do everything to make our marriage work so all the pain that I felt will be worth it.

"Of course I am." I smiled widely but I know it didn't reach my eyes and based on Adam's reaction I know he didn't believe in my answer.

"You have me, always remember that." Adam leaned on me and kissed my forehead. Madie being a scene-stealer held my shoulder and made me face her.

"You also have me, remember that." She imitated Adam's action and kissed me on the forehead as well.

"Eww, Madie." I wiped my forehead and she was irritated so Adam and I laugh.

"Lauren," someone called me so diverted my vision to where the voice came from and it was Trisha who called me.

"The org party is about to start, let's go?" I looked at Adam and Madie to bid goodbye. I told them that I will visit my Dad on weekends and they offer to join me so I gladly accept. I don't think I can face my father alone so it is much better to have some company. After bidding goodbye I told Trisha that we can go. We walked side by side and talk about random topics. Trisha is nice, she is the most approachable out of all my classmates but I cannot call her my best friend since I have a hard time sharing my problems with her. While we are walking I feel like someone is following us so I looked back but I saw no one. Trisha asked me what was wrong and I shook my head as an answer, maybe I am just being paranoid.

"Congratulations Lauren." I am shocked that these people know me but I should expect this since our wedding was broadcast maybe worldwide. It feels like I am a celebrity.

"What did you do girl? How did you seduce Andrew huh?" One of the popular mean girls in our school asked me and I didn't know how to answer her.

"Our school's Virgin Mary is a slut." She shouted so loud to the point that her voice has dominated the music in the club. Everyone looked at me and laughed. Looking like a cowardly little kid I run away while crying. I heard Trisha calling me but I didn't look back, I feel so humiliated and I don't think I have the face to go back. I want to call Andrew to pick me up but I know that will be too much so I decided to ride a taxi. During the drive all I did was cry, the taxi driver looked at me and asked me if I am okay, and handed me a box of tissue. I took it and wipe all the tears on my face. I fixed my messy hair and put some powder on my face and tint on my lips.

When we arrived at the condominium I get off and paid the taxi driver. I thanked him before leaving. Everyone was looking at me when I entered the condominium's reception hall so I walk fast and almost run just to escape their looks. I am catching my breath when I arrived at the penthouse door. I pressed the doorbell, after a few seconds it opened and it reveals Andrew. He didn't even greet me. After opening the door he turned his back so I followed him until we reach the sala. I was about to sit on the sofa when I saw some pictures of me and Adam. The first picture was when Adam is hugging me and the second one is when he kissed my forehead.

"Do you how much money I lost just to cover up your flirty acts?" Andrew asked me in a cold voice. He is now sitting in front of me.

"I lost a f*****g million." Even though he is not shouting I know he is furious.

"There is nothing wrong with the photo, he is my friend." I reasoned out to defend myself.

"Well my dear wife, media can create stories and turn that photo into a malicious one." He smiled at me, a sarcastic one.

"I thought if I marry a quiet kid with no social status everything will be easy, but I guess I am wrong, you are also a pain in the ass." After saying those he left dumbfounded.