Lies Written by the Stars

Honest Opinions

Chapter 16: Honest Opinions

ELLE’S POV

I sat on the classroom chair. Stunned. Jean knows something.

But didn’t he tell Liz that he found me there? Peaceful?

Just when I was thinking of getting better, here comes another wave trying to wash off my confidence.

I looked at everybody, all of them are busy talking with their friends, chatting, laughing and bickering with each other. Like nothing has ever happened with them.

Why does it look like I’m the only one with problems? Or am I just really being dramatic with my life?

I sighed. Maybe Jean is lying, he’s trying to get my attention and he has done a great job at that. Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts, I looked at Liz, Raph and Chris coming in from the door.

I think they went out to buy something, or just to get away from this noisy class.

I didn’t dare look at Chris. After everything that has happened, I don’t know how I could face him. Even though we’ve already apologized to each other, I still feel guilty for pushing those words out of him.

“I was attending my dad’s funeral.”

I wiped my face at that thought. Ugh, Elle.

“A penny for your thought?” Liz joked.

I looked at her and smiled worriedly, “I don’t know what I will say later.”

Liz raised her eyebrow, “Hmm, that’s kind of rare for someone who always has something to say.”

I hid my head at the desk after hearing that. “Ugh, you’re not helping me feel better.”

She laughed at me; laughed at me. This girl… I kicked her under the table.

“Ow! I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She said, and placed her hand on my left shoulder, “It just fascinates me how he affects you. It’s like you’re ability to read somebody gets really thrown off.”

I grumbled.

“But you see Elle, if you don’t know what to say, why not just let your heart speak the truth? That’s always the easiest way.” Liz continued.

I shifted my head and looked at Liz, she’s smiling at me and wiggling her brows. I rolled my eyes at her, knowing full well what she said knocked some sense to me. Then I smiled back at her and said, “Fine.”

After our little pep talk and still having my head rested on the table, I hear a footstep coming in from the door. Sir Yada.

I know that foot step too well.

So I raised my head and mentally tapped my own shoulder. Relax, Elle. You got this.

“Good morning class.” He greeted as he fixed his things at the table.

“Good morning, sir.” The class mumbled.

I didn’t dare speak.

“We will be having another discussion for today, and our topic would be about Mental Health. I’m sure you’re all aware regarding this topic, so it would be a quick one.” Mr. Yada stated.

He then looked around and stared at me.

“But before that…” he trailed, “Since Ms. Elentiya is back and Mr. Chris is present, I guess we should let them present each other’s assignment first. Or should I call it presenting each other’s discovery?” He asked himself.

I held my breath, here goes…

“So what are you waiting for? Please stand up and go here in front.” He said, motioning the floor beside him as he move to give us more space at the center.

I stood up, great. Just great, what a f*cking irony; the center of all the centers.

I started walking.

Jake whistled.

I kept walking.

I can feel their stares on me.

But I keep my head high, and stopped at the center.

I can do this.

I stared at Chris, and I can’t read his face.

And then he said, “Nervous?”

I clenched my left fist, hidden from the people and said, “Never.”

Liar.

But I faced in front and garnered all the bravery I can have.

“So who goes first?” Mr. Yada asked.

I looked at Chris, and he smirked and said, “I’ll go.”

And then he looked back at me and smiled a little before completely facing the class.

What’s he smiling about? I stared in front, looking at nobody in particular.

“Elle is a liar.”

I snapped my head back at him.

“She lies about what she feels.”

What the hell?

“She lies about what’s happening to her.”

He’s still looking at the class, not even caring about my reaction.

“She lies about her emotions.”

Fine, be like that.

“And most of all, she lies to herself.”

I try to calm myself, and masked all of my emotions.

“You see, she’s the strangest liar you’ll ever meet.” He then, looked at me. “She lies not because she wants to fool you, but she lies because she doesn’t want to hurt you.”

I…

“She’s a very good liar, I’ll admit that.”

“But among all the liars I’ve ever met, she’s the purest liar of them all.” Then he looked back at the class again, putting his hands in his pockets. “She’s just unlucky that I get to see past the lies.”

I don’t know what to feel. It’s like he has read me in front of the class. And I can’t even comprehend if he’s right or wrong. But I feel all these emotions surging in me; threatening to overflow through tears.

But Mr. Yada spoke, “And why do you see past the lies Mr. Chris?”

I looked away from Chris- staring down.

And from my peripheral vision, I saw him smirked, and said, “Hmmm, let’s just say we’re more connected that she lets us to be.”

The class erupted at that, some is whistling, the others laughing and then there was a loud thud.

Jean.

“Sorry, book got slippery.” He said while picking up the book he “accidentally” dropped.

I shivered; looking at everybody.

“Okay. Now, let’s see what Ms. Elle has to say about Mr. Chris, shall we?” Mr. Yada asked.

The room was in complete silence. Waiting.

Still in turmoil, I cleared my throat. And remembered all the things I’ve been thinking since last night.

“Chris…” I trailed.

“Chris is annoying.” The class laughed at that.

"Ask the right questions, Elentiya."  I remembered.

“He’s annoyingly honest and unpredictable.”

“Do I look like a feast to you?” I snared.

His eyebrows raised over what I said, amused.

“Well…” He trailed, placing the spoon and fork at the both sides of the plate and tapping a tissue over his mouth he continued.

“That depends if you want to be consumed.”

If you think I’m a liar, might as well say all the truth I have of you. Then see if it’s a lie.

“He tells you things you don’t want to and you’re not ready to hear.”

“I was attending my dad’s funeral.”

I don’t know how he’s reacting and I don’t care.

“He tells you things that are completely true and honest, that you won’t even know what he wants you to feel.”

“You wouldn’t know if he’s just toying with you, or he just like seeing you in pain.” I continued.

“But I have never met anyone in my life that tells you the most hurtful truths even if you look like you can’t handle them anymore.” I exclaimed.

Breathing in, I said, “And honestly? I would prefer that over the prettiest lies and the sweetest sugarcoated words I will ever hear.”

Then I looked at him and smiled gratefully. And from his face, I can say that I’m not the only one shocked with what we said.

“Thanks.”

I don’t even know if I’m telling that to him or if I’m saying it to the whole class to finish the monologue. But I left and walked to my seat anyway.

Ending the conversation and not caring if Jake and the others would make fun of whatever we said in front of the class. Or if my face showed how vulnerable I was when I was hearing what Chris was saying to me.

They don’t know anything. They don’t know what I’m going through, and they don’t know what happened between me and Chris over the weekend. And I’m learning that it’s okay to show weakness sometimes. At least, I get to pick up myself stronger afterwards.

So now, my vulnerability is now my strength.