Born Rider

My Past

We left the bar. I hopped on the back of his bike and give him directions to a cemetery. He parks his bike and cuts the engine. He follows me as I start walking through the cemetery until we get to a tombstone that reads "Mina Lovett" and drop to my knees.

Jax: Who's this?

I run my hand over the top of the tombstone. I feel the tears reaching my eyes. I end up breaking down. Jax is immediately at my side.

Jax: Hey! Talk to me. Who is this?

Me: My.....daughter.

Jax: Your daughter?

I nod. I wipe the tears from my eyes. I miss her every single day even if I never got to meet her. She will always be my precious little girl.

Me: I had a miscarriage. I was only 2 months pregnant.

Jax: I'm so sorry for your lose.

Me: It's honestly better this way. Her....father....didn't want her.

Jax: What?!

I rest my head on her tombstone. thinking about it just angers me. I place a kiss on her tombstone before standing up.

Me: Take me home. There's more.

He nods. We get back on his bike and drive to my place. I unlock the door and we head inside. We enter and I lead him down the hall to a room I never open. I open the door and he runs in. The room is filled with trophies, giant checks, merch, and photos of me with male bikers. I leave on the doorframe watching him.

Jax: What is this?

Me: Stuff from my racing days.

Jax: So, you did use to race?!

I nod which makes him smiles. He looks around until he makes it to the photos. He picks up a few photos.

Jax: Wow! You got to meet a lot of great riders!

Me: More like dated.

Jax: You dated them?!

I nod. He looks back at the photos. Eyes glazing over each one before asking me.

Jax: Luca Dasilva? What happened?

Me: Playboy.

Jax: Jake Myers?

Me: Secretly gay.

Jax: Really?!

I nod. I walk over and point to each one. Pointing out why each relationship ended.

Me: Gay, drug addict, player, cheater, cheater, alcoholic,--

I get to the last photo. Looking at his face boils my blood. I grab the photo off the shelf aggressively point at his face.

Me: This one. This is the one that made me stop dating bikers.

Jax: That's Tate Marshall.

Me: And my sweet Mina's father.

Jax: What?! Tate Marshall is married with kids.

Me: Yeah, I wish I knew that back then.

Jax: What happened?

I sit down on the floor. I pat a spot on the floor. He sits down with me. I grab a book from behind me and begin.

Me: I met Tate at a party a few years ago after a race. We hit it off great. So great we started dating. He kept claiming if we went public it would be bad for our careers. So, like an i***t i believed him and we stayed a secret. After about 6 months i found out I was pregnant. I was so excited.

I can feel the tears coming again and did my best to keep going. He was listening intently.

Me: I thought he would be too. When I told him, He told me to get rid of it. It took me by surprise. We got in an argument. It was bad. A few days later I saw a picture that mentioned him and apparently his wife. I threatened to tell his wife if he didn't.

Jax: Did he?

I ball my hands into fist on my knees. I shake my head no. I move my head back trying to contain the tears before continuing. I begin again.

Me: We got in an even bigger argument that led to a fight. When I told him I was going to tell his wife and I was keeping it. He got physical with me. He slammed me against the wall and kept hitting me. Over and over again. He then dragged me to the room. Actually, this exact room. He started kicking me in my stomach and calling me names. I begged him to stop, and he said not until the baby was dead. He eventually stopped. He left me like that.

Jax: ARE YOU f*****g SERIOUS?!

Me: My brothers are the ones that found me, barely conscious, and rushed me to the hospital but that point the damage was already done. I was in the hospital for weeks recovery.

I hand him the book. He starts flipping through it. My i***t brother had taken picture of me while I was in the hospital. Swollen eyes, busted lip, bruises everywhere, a few broken bones.

Me: Once I recovered. I swore off dating bikers ever again.

He looks up at me. His eyes slightly glossy. He stands up. He extends a hand to me. I reach my hand out and he pulls me up.

Jax: Your Angel "BG" Alvarez?!

Me: The biker goddess. Yep, that was me. I changed my last name.

Jax: They said you were in a bad racing accident.

Me: Tate paid to have the whole thing covered up.

Jax: God! I look up to the guy but not anymore. How could he do that? I completely understand why you wanted nothing to do with a biker now. That was pretty traumatic.

Me: Honestly though, I feel a bit better. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've never shared this with anyone. Not even my sister. Again, only my brothers knew about it.

Jax: Look I won't bother you anymore. I'm sorry.

He starts to walk away but I grab his arm. He turns around and looks at me. I step closer to him.

Me: I think my brothers were right. I'll always have those memories. I'll always remember my daughter. But at the same time, I think I can finally start to really heal.

Jax: What are you saying?

I let my hand slide from his am to his hand. This is going to be my first step.

Me: I saying I willing to try again.

Jax: As in?

Me: You weren't lying when you said there was no brain up there huh?

Jax: I'm confused.

Me: Yeah, I figured that much already. Let me help you.

I step even closer and kiss him. After moment I think it finally clicked for him. His other hand slides to my waist, pulling me against his chest. I pull back.

Me: Got it now?

Jax: Yeah.

He pulls me back in for another kiss. When he pulls back this time his head is resting against my forehead, both of us trying to catch our breath.

Jax: I should go.

Me: Stay.

Jax: I would love too but let's take things slow, ok?

I nod. I shocked he not willing to stay but happy at the same time he isn't trying to rush anything or take advantage of me in a vulnerable state. He lifts my chin to look at him.

Jax: I don't want to mess things up again, like before.

Me: Figures.

Jax: Look, I do really like you. I want you to feel like this chance was worth giving to me.

Me: I understand. We take this time an--.

Jax: Get to know each other.

Me: Get to know each other.

I laugh and he leans in for another kiss. He slowly starts backing up and releasing my hand.

Jax: I'll call you tomorrow?

Me: I would hope so.

Jax: Then I'll be calling you tomorrow. Night Angel.

Me: Night Jackson.

He turns and leaves out the door. I go behind him and lock it. I took the first step. I walk to the window and see him get on his bike and drive off. The rest is in his hands.