Repressed

Chapter 2 -Mundane

When Tom and I returned home after a month of honeymooning, everything felt strange. It was so unusual being back home after the long summer days we had in Fiji.

To once again be in the cold chill of Palatine, our home country, felt wrong.I kept catching myself wishing we could have stayed there, away from our boring reality.

"Honey, have you seen my keys?"

Rolling my eyes I snatch the car keys from the dining room table and step into the hallway patiently.

"I've got them here" I paused with a small sigh. As I waited for him to grab his bag I couldn't help but wonder how many times we had gone through this routine by now.

"Bye babe, see you later." He chirped. With a final quick peck on the lips, Tommy was gone.

Sighing again, I resigned myself to sitting back at my desk in the office. Flipping my laptop open, life just seemed so mundane. We've already slipped back into a platonic relationship where nothing new or exciting seems to happen.

I mean we haven't even had s*x once in the past few weeks! Whats up with that? The relationship was becoming strained and I was completely sexually frustrated.

Rubbing my eyes tiredly, my head swelled with so many 'What ifs' and 'What could have been's. I'm probably just being paranoid but a slight nagging feeling keeps pestering me. Surly there is more to our life then just this...

I want to get some of that passion back! Where we could go at "it" for hours on end. The fiery lust that raged between us had dissipated into almost nothing. Not even a tingling buzz remained when we touched. Our spark was fading, fast.

Humming to no one in particular, I started writing my report up for the week. I was a zookeeper and mainly cared for the wolves and snakes of the park. They were both such different species but for some reason I had always found myself being drawn towards them, much like an invincible hook was reeling me in.

At the end of every week I have to document the progress of all the animals under my protection and care. This is in several retrospects such as medical needs, diet, social interaction and any further observations I make in general. Overall this contributes to the zoo's database to maintain an updated source to later refer to , if needed.

Today was my only day off and yet again I was spending it alone, again. Thomas was going to the London office so would be home much later as a result. Although he needs this job, he could ask for more hours off. Currently he works 24/7 with Sundays to do work from home!

I was already adjusted and used to being on my own most of the time or with the animals. I know for a fact it is unhealthy to be so anti-social however my schedule is considerably packed. Therefore our timings with work, meetings and travel are completely off. We never see each other, apart from when he asks for his keys in the morning.

Its so ridiculous that I can't help but find myself drawn to my phone. I need to tell him.

Taking a deep breathe I finally decided to message Tommy, we needed to solve our problems before it gets too late. Despite the fact I knew he would be unable to respond till his lunch break, I had to send it now otherwise I would procrastinate. Its now or never.

'Babe, we need to talk. I can't deal with being alone so often anymore. We need to somehow sync up our days again like we used to! I love you but i'm losing my mind. Call me when you can.

Your wife x'

Hmm... that looked good enough. I didn't want to totally freak him out with a text message. Pausing before I hit the send button I couldn't help but wonder if we could really work it out. What if we couldn't?

Sent.

Well there is no going back now. Waiting for a reply was like watching a character fulfill all the horror movie stereotypes: Two left feet, tripping, splitting up and screaming. It was painful to witness.

Ding.

That was faster than usual! Reading the response aloud I felt my brow crease.

I agree hon. We'll talk about it tonight? Love you, Tom x" He sent such a short message.

I better get on with my report otherwise I'm going to end up working late into the evening. There's no more use in thinking about it till later. I guess I'll have to wait just a little bit longer.

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The hours flew by at an incredibly slow speed and I soon found myself pacing in the kitchen, I just couldn't sit still. It was 6:48pm.

He was almost 60 minutes late home and my worry was increasing by the second.

Buzz. Buzz.

Checking the message I felt my frown deepen into sadness as I read:

'Sorry honey can't be back to'Sorry honey can't be back tonight. Having to pull overtime see you soon. Tom x' .

A small smile tugged at the edges of my lips as I slid down the cupboard to the tiled floor with a sniffle. I loved him so much but even as I begin to believe we're about to make progress he always takes a step back.

I wanted to support him in everything he does but he makes me doubt his honesty by lying about late night pub crawls with coworkers. I wish he loved me as much as I loved him because at this rate we might not last much longer.

Forcing a fake 'I'm not bothered' reply was hard enough however in reality my salty tears were unstoppable.

"Okay babe, love you x"

It then clicked he didn't tell me he loved me. He had never sent me a text without informing of his love. A large hole started to widen and deepen in my heart as my fear set in. I don't think i'll be able to live without him if he left.

Sobbing into the palms of my hands I sniffled and wiped my nose. I was being pathetic. Grow a backbone Lili! Still embarrassed by own weakness, despite no-one else being present, I tidied up my appearence heading back into the louge.

As I drank away my sorrows into the bottom of a wine glass, I watched the TV mindlessly. i had no idea what was on but whatever it was couldn't hold my attention.

Most people my age would be out partying and enjoying life but here I was alone at home drinking wine. We married young, to be exact I was 18 and he was 25, I was now almost 19 and I felt as if my life was slipping away.

I don't regret marrying Tommy but I wish it had been different. That I had been normal. My only hope was and still is, is to make him happy. I think I'm failing in that department otherwise he would push to be at home more.

Shaking my head, I changed into my pajamas and got ready for bed. I might as well try and get some rest since I start work again tomorrow.

If I kept my focus on the animals I have the possibility of getting through the day with minimal waterworks.

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"Hey Liliana!" I glanced over my shoulder to meet the gaze of my best friend Eddie.

"Hey Ed" We gently hugged each other in greeting.

"How have you been flower?" I don't know why but ever since I started this job and met Eddie I had been called 'Flower'. A nickname I guess...

"I've been better." I whispered feeling tears spike at the corner of my red and swollen eyes again.

"Oh flower come 'ere" he pulled me into a tight embrace with my head resting on his chest. "I'm here for now, tell papa Edward whats wrong"

Sniffling I looked upwards peering into his oak brown gaze, he was like the big brother I never had. And so I told him everything from the loneliness to the disconnect between my husband and I.

As I finished he wiped a tear away from my cheek; placing a kiss upon my forehead with a light chuckle.

"Well I won't ever leave you, never" His reassurance sounded sincere so I couldn't help but stand on my tiptoes placing a peck on his cheek. To an outsiders view we may have looked like a couple at first glance.

Immediately aware of the tension of the action of affection quickly I "became aware" that I was now late to feed the wolves.

Putting an arm lengths reach between us I quickly indicated towards the path to the food stock. An awkward silence ensued but Eddie simply nodded in understanding and let me go heading in the opposite direction.

Time for this zookeeper to get to work and take care of our resident the wolf pack.

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After feeding the Alpha wolf nuzzled at my leg in acknowledgment.

"Okay Jeffery you horny wolf" I smiled

"I may hold the position of Luna in this pack but I'm not mating with you" laughing lightly at my own joke, like the lame person I was, I rushed my hand through the back of his fur.

He purred loudly and licked my hand much like a little pupper. Yep this is what I work here for! As I went to pull away and leave a low growl resounded from the big male in protest.

"I'll be back later silly" He c****d his head to the side unable to understand me.

Once outside the enclosure I made my way to the snake hut. It was time for Mambo's weekly check up. Inside the reptile area of the zoo the temperature was much warmer and I could already feel the humidity frizzing up my hair.

Great.

Walking through the staff only doors I arrived in the back room where Al was feeding our resident black widow, Anya, in her case.

"Hello Al, how ya been you old fart?" He was a 52 year old man with wisps of grey hair pined in a comb-over and a stocky build. I'm pretty sure hes been working at the park for over 30 years. Looking up at me, he faked being hurt and placed a hand to his heart.

"Old?" a tiny wobble laced his tone with a pout. I broke down into a fit of laughter at the sight of a man, old enough to be my father, stropped like a small child.

"I'm only kidding bobba" I hummed kissing his cheek lightly.

"I know kiddo, just messing" a gingerly grin spread across his cheeks as he amused himself. Joining in his positivity I proceeded to pass through the room to the sink to wash my hands and put on my gloves.

"Going to check on Mambo again Lil?" I nodded a short reply.

"Well your phone has been non-stop ringing in your locker so when you get back you best check it. Might be that hubby of yours"

Hesitantly I stopped what I was doing and glanced behind me to be met by a stern glare.

"Sure thing, sorry I thought I left it on silent." Al grimaced in obvious disbelief and as much as I loved him he was a bit snobby sometimes.

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Finishing up the body examination of the 40 cm snake, my mind drifted to the mysterious phone calls. I mean Thomas knows not to call when I'm at work and Eddie's cleaning out the elephant enclosure.

Okay, I don't have many people that I'm close to but I struggle with social interaction so give me a break.

The walk to my locker was slow and staggered from all the sleepless nights I'd been experiencing lately. Typing in my code, I twisted the lock; quickly snatching my vibrating phone from my bag.

627 missed calls from unknown? Jesus Christ!

"Hello, Liliana here"

"Yes hello there, is this Mrs Dylan? The wife of Thomas Dylan? Of whom I am currently speaking to?"

"Yes this is she,"

"My name is Owen Grey and I am a representative of the authority." he paused momentarily gaging my reaction. "I am calling to inform you of your husbands induction to the Final solution."

With those words the world began to spin from its hinges. White noise muffled his voice into the background as reality set in. Oh god no! Why Tommy? Its not fair! What if he dies? I cant live without him!

My thoughts ran at 100 miles an hour as I sunk to the floor tears streaming down my cheeks. This cant be happening. I wont let it!

"Ma'am? Mrs Dylan? Are you okay? Ms?" Mr Grey sounded slightly worried but not the least bit surprised by my response. Just how many times had he done this before?

Telling families that a loved one is now a lab rat, a thing to be experimented on for the"good"of the world.

"Y-yes?" my words were teared stained and a stuttering mess.

"Allow me to explain everything once you come down to the authority offices in London. Accommodation will be provided as well as any other needs. Just call this number, as I am your now connection officer, if you have any questions"

Nodding in a daze I mumbled a strained muted "Okay, see you soon" and hung up the phone.

What was I going to do?

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This is chapter two, what do you think???