Italian Mess

Special Chapter: The Heissler Family

4 years earlier

Today is my Grandpa Heissler's 75th birthday. It's an accomplishment not all old aged people can reach. Only very fortunate ones get to enjoy life at this pristine age. My parents organized a party for him at this 5-star hotel. At 75, they ought to give him the best.

A formal event gathering cousins, relatives, and family friends who haven't seen each other for a while. The time to dress up, reconnect, and have fun. You mingle with each of them while they ask you if you were dating someone, verify if the rumor is true, what college program I'll be taking, et cetera.

I pace back and forth, clutching on my necklace. I've seated and stood up several times. Anxiety was sinking its teeth down unto my skin. I could hardly get it out. The silence of my hotel room was deafening.

Breathe.

Social events were okay for me, but I hated it when it was my family. Their opinions and how annoying they can be, pestering you about your life, is suffocating. I do well when I don't know the people because they're people who I shouldn't please. My family has to be pleased in every decision that you make. If you don't, you're in the room's spotlight, whispers everywhere. If I were to bring a date, I'm rumored to be a slut. I was a drink they devoured.

I've been the talk of the town last year. They knew I failed in a subject. They called me stupid and useless in the family. My cousins who were studying at Ivy League Schools looked down on me. They didn't know that I failed because I kept opposing my teacher's views in class. What would it be this year?

I straightened the dress they forced me to wear. They instructed us that all his grandchildren wear matching dresses and suits fit for the 1920s.

I head to the ballroom where the party is already in full swing. The later I come in, the better so I can avoid relatives with their petty talks. I inhaled as my chilly hands turned the knob of the double door.

When I sneaked in, cousins who were glaring welcomed me as if I was the one they were waiting for. I smirked and raised my eyebrow at them.

I squint at the blaring lights that greeted me. The room filled with gold, black and white motifs accented by feathery designs, shiny pearls, and sparkling diamond ensembles. It was tempting to walk the red carpet that leads to the stage. To complete the theme, there was a giant glass tower in the middle. Grandpa Heissler's party theme was The Great Gatsby. His guests were busy huddled together.

I found my way towards where my parents were sitting.

"Where were you? The programme started hours ago," He gestured to the seat across them in this circular designed table with an annoying feathery centerpiece, "Take a seat, Soleil, Where's your brother?"

My brother, just like me gets annoyed with family gatherings, wasn't here. I grip my glittery clutch harder, my nails slowly digging in it. Lucky b***h. We were supposed to be here an hour ago and my little brother was no show.

My throat runs dry, "I don't know where he is,"

The Heisslers' eyes were fixed on the stage. My parents did an outstanding job of choosing the band. My cousins performed tonight and I missed it on purpose. They always loved the praise they get when they perform. It was their way of making me feel like I'm a talented useless cousin of theirs. I closed my eyes, biting my lip as the noise continued to fill the ballroom.

I stay glued unto my seat, not bothering to do anything but watch every movement. A party supposed to bring joy, but it brought the opposite to me. I tap my toes to the beat of the music. Hold on.

I savour the boisterous laugh of my aunts and uncles but most especially watched my Grandpa Heissler sway to the music that filled the air entertaining his family and friends' tables around. As for the celebrant, he wore a shiny maroon suit that made him stand out. His guests who wore distinct sequined dresses and suits continue staring at him in awe.

Grandpa Heissler slipped beside me. My parents gave him a smile, acknowledging him. "Happy birthday," I kissed him on his cheek as I welcomed him next to me, "Enjoying the party?"

"Well, you're late, Soleil." His eyebrows creased, shifting to another demeanor.

I fish out a reasonable answer, "There's no such thing as late for Italians,"

"Shame," He bolted away, grabbing more drinks.

Before I could react, they called my dad up on stage to give a speech. A round of applause filled the air. He was the eldest son of Grandpa Heissler, but he was not his parents' favorite. My mom accompanied him, clutching his arm. There was silence, all ears were his.

"I'd like to thank all of you who came today, family, and friends. Seventy-five is a precious age. You don't look like your age and you don't act like it too. Dad, I'm blessed to have a father whose greatest gift to me was his strength. Always remember that many love you. Keep enjoying life!" He chuckled, "But before I give a toast, I'd like to express how happy I am that my daughter is taking up business in one of the best Ivy League Schools in the country this year and how we are all given a chance to gather today. Cheers!"

I yelp clenching my fist and slammed it to the table. What? The clanking of wine glasses together overthrown the noise I made.

My mom was smiling beside him as she clung to his arm, also raising a glass. Everybody's eyes were on me as they congratulated me, raising their glass in recognition of my achievement. I put on a fake smile, nodding to everyone.

Their grin showed satisfaction with how people reacted. They stepped down like they just conquered the world and proudly made their way back to their seats. My parents and I talked about this. I told them I was taking Communication Arts or an English major.

"What was that all about mom? Dad?" I whispered audible enough to be heard across the table. "I'm not asking for attention. I even still get it when I try to avoid it. This time, you're the one dragging attention to me with things that aren't true."

The music played for the guests to dance. They huddled like we were in a meeting in the middle of dancing relatives. "You know, your grandfather is so hard to please. That'll make him feel better on his birthday!"

"Make him feel better with lies? We've talked about this. I told you, I'm taking up Communication Arts or get an English major!" It's clear on how they looked at me. They agreed on one thing. That I was going to college taking a business program. Where is it coming from?

"Isn't Aury going to take the business? You can enroll with her. She's your best friend. Doing things together would be fun." My mom insisted.

I couldn't utter the right words. I voiced out what I wanted weeks ago. Dad continued, "The Ivy League School wasn't a lie. You already got in, Lei. Just change the program you're going to before your classes start."

My hands have gone cold and my breathing went heavy. I clenched my teeth together tightly. My jaws sharpened.

"Lei, listen up. We know what's best for you. You'll excel in taking up a business program and your grandpa would like us so much better. This is a helpful move. We'll benefit from it. You're treated like an outcasted grandchild, your dad is the disliked son, I'm the least interesting daughter-in-law after my family's debt." I should've changed my mind about attending this if this is what I get. "You're the sun of our family, the only one who'll save us,"

My parents did this in order not to shame ourselves. I know that both sides of my family are such a pain in the ass. "Lei, prove them wrong. Take business." I shrug.

My parents are the ones that held me together in these functions. They're my rock, reminding me I should be kind in everything. Their wisdom kept me going. They were my voice whenever I'm voiceless.

Until they weren't.

I convinced myself that one day I might get out of this toxic system.

This was the start of a new, unexpected chapter of my life. A change I didn't want. This gives room for chaos and toxicity.

I stood up, "Yes, fine, I'll do it!"

I stormed out of the room.

Here's to saving my family for the first time. I'm now a pawn.