Under The Stars

15

“A Craig and Gail Carson were brought to us about an hour ago after being involved in a collision.”

“What?” I suck in a breath. “Those are my folks. Are they okay?”

“Mr. Carson escaped with minor injuries. Mrs. Carson suffered severe cranial trauma and was airlifted to our facility. I’m sorry to be blunt, but the sooner you can get here, the better.”

My vision goes blurry. The phone drops from my hand and clatters to the floor as I try to steady myself on the wall.

I can’t breathe.

“Alina?” I hear my name, but it’s distant, muddled.

Why can’t I breathe?

Jax’s face appears in front of me. “Sweetheart? What’s the matter? Your director sent me to find you. They’re ready to start.”

I look up at him. I’m trying to find the words, but I can’t talk because I. Can’t. Breathe.

My hands claw at my blouse, the silky fabric suddenly choking me. If I can just get it off maybe it will relieve the pressure pushing down on my chest.

“Whoa, Alina.” I feel hands grab mine, pulling them from my body. “Alina.” His voice is sharp and authoritative. It cuts through the fog and helps me focus. Worried forest-green eyes stare into mine.

“Mama... hospital… please,” I rasp out. It’s barely coherent, but it’s the best I can do. I collapse into Jax’s arms, tears staining his shirt.

His torso pushes against my cheek with his abrupt intake of breath. “Your mom’s in the hospital?”

I nod against him.

“Which hospital, sweetheart? I need you to tell me where to take you.”

I rack my brain, trying to remember what the lady on the phone said. “CHI Medical.”

We make it to the car. Jax holds my hand while he shifts gears. It helps, but what I really need, who I really need, is Chase. I try to call him. Over and over and over.

Please, Chase. Pick up. Can’t you feel me breakin’?

No answer. Eventually, it goes straight to voicemail.

I can’t breathe.

The ride to the hospital

is a blur, but we make it. Daddy’s pacing in the waiting room with a white bandage on his arm and tears on his face. I rush into his arms and the pressure in my chest starts to ease.

“Daddy, what happened?” I cry. “Are you okay? Where’s Mama? Have you talked to Eli?”

He brushes my hair with his hand, shushing me. His voice cracks as he tells me everything will be alright. He says God has a plan, and all we have to do is pray.

So that’s what we do.

We sit in small plastic chairs and we pray.

A couple hours later and my panic has calmed. Jax’s solid grip on my hand and Daddy being alive and well has helped me fight through the shock. But I’m scared. Mama is still in surgery, and nobody has told us anything.

Jax curses beside me.

“What’s wrong?”

He’s on his phone, but as soon as I ask, he puts it away. “Nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart.”

His smile irritates me. “Jax, don’t treat me with kid gloves. I could use the distraction. Tell me what you were lookin’ at.” I’m being nosy and I know it, but I don’t care. Anything to escape this purgatory.

“I was just scrolling f*******:. Dumb stuff to pass the time.” He won’t meet my eyes. The tingling at the base of my spine has me apprehensive. What else could make this day any worse?

“Jax. Please.” I put my hand out. “Just let me see.”

He purses his lips as he stares at me. Finally, he heaves a sigh and hands his phone over, his screen lit up.

When I see the picture of a smiling Lindsay next to a sleeping Chase, wearing his shirt and in his bed, my heart shatters into pieces.

When Mama dies two hours later, those pieces turn to dust.

15                                

Chase

Twenty Years Old

An arm on my chest is what wakes me. I run my hands down my face, groaning. I reach over to pull Goldi further into me, but instead of soft curves, I grasp sharp angles.

The f**k?

I look down and see bleached blonde hair, not the honey-blonde I was expecting. Lindsay? What the hell? Throwing her arm off me, I scoot back.

She stirs, blinking groggily. “Chase?”

“What the f**k are you doing here?” I see my phone on the desk, and I jump out of bed to grab it.

My forehead wrinkles as I realize it’s turned off.

I look around, trying to get my bearings. The sun is streaming through my blinds, which means I’m officially f****d because my window faces east. That means it’s morning. I slept through Goldi’s recital.

Fuck. f**k. f**k.

“Chase, what’s wrong?” Lindsay pushes back the covers, sitting up in my bed, stretching her arms above her head. Shock filters through me as I notice she’s wearing nothing but my shirt.

Mistaking my wide eyes for something it isn’t, she smirks. “Looks good on me, doesn’t it?” She sweeps her hands down her body.

“What the f**k, Lindsay?”

My phone vibrates in my hand as it powers on, diverting my attention.

25 Missed Calls. 10 New Voicemails. 7 Text Messages.

My stomach knots.

Lindsay stands, coming close to peer over my shoulder. “Your phone wouldn’t stop ringing yesterday afternoon, so I turned it off. Thought you could use the rest instead. I know how tired you’ve been from school and work.” She rubs my arm.

I remember her leaving yesterday afternoon. Obviously, once I fell asleep, she decided to show back up. I am seriously regretting leaving my front door unlocked.

I shrug her off, my teeth grinding. “That’s just great, Lindsay. I had an alarm set. You knew I was supposed to be going home. Do you have any idea how hard you’ve made things for me?”

She scoffs. “Please, Alina will forgive you. She always does. You obviously needed sleep.”

Her words are a punch to the gut. Self-loathing beats my insides with the fact that even she realizes how shitty I’ve been to Goldi. “Care to explain why you’re even f*****g here? Or why you took it upon yourself to put on my clothes and sleep in my bed?”

“I was tired, too.” She lifts her shoulders. “I didn’t have anything to wear that was comfortable. I didn’t think you would mind.”

“Of course I f*****g mind,” I snap, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I don’t have time to deal with you right now. Make yourself useful and go start some coffee.”

I look down at my phone, pulling up Goldi’s name and pressing call. I just need to explain. She’ll understand.

She has to understand.

The phone rings, but her voicemail picks up. I try Jax next. No answer.

Shit.

I open up my text messages.

Goldi: I’m sorry about earlier, It’s just hard with you being gone.

Jax: Hey, bro. Excited for you to be back! Whoop! Let’s chill tomorrow after you get your Alina time.

Goldi: Are you almost here? We need to leave soon for the rec hall.

Goldi: Chase. Answer your phone!

Goldi: I’m having Jax take me. If I wait any longer, I’ll be late.

Jax: Dude. Where the f**k are you?

Goldi: I’m done.

This is bad. This is really f*****g bad.

I go to my call log next. Most of them are from Goldi. My eyebrows furrow as I realize there’s a string of them during the time of the recital. I keep scrolling.

Jax.

Jax.

Jax.

Becca.

I stop short, my thumb hovering over the screen. Why the f**k did Becca call?

I go to my voicemail and skip to the one from her, pressing play.

“You know, I’ve met a lot of assholes in my life, but you really take the cake. You better stay gone, Chase Adams. Do you hear me? I don’t want to ever see your face around here again.”

Becca’s always been a b***h, but her reaction to a missed recital is alarming. I move on to the most recent message from Jax.

“I tried, Chase. I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I watched as you made f****d-up choice after f****d-up choice, and I always stood back. But this… you better call me back, bro.”

I’m definitely missing something.

I try Alina again as I pull on the first pair of jeans I find, and a black tee. She doesn’t answer, so I pull up f*******:, desperate to find some clue as to why everyone’s freaking the f**k out. Lindsay sashays back into my room, two mugs of coffee in her hands. I don’t look up. My eyes are too busy staring at the photo on my timeline. My stomach bottoms out so fast it makes me dizzy. I collapse onto the bed.

“Here’s your coffee, Chase.” Lindsay sets the mug on the nightstand. I grab her wrist, holding her in place.

She tries to wrench it from my grasp, but I tighten my grip. “Lindsay, what have you done?”

She peeks at my phone screen, a smirk taking over her face. “We look good in your bed, don’t we? Honestly, Chase, I was tired of waiting for you to man up and make a move. I figured a little push in the right direction was needed. Get that lapdog of a girlfriend out of the way so you wouldn’t have to pretend anymore.”

My mouth parts in shock. “You posted this so Goldi would see?”

She smirks. “A girl can hope.”