Begging for survival

Chapter 20 - The Truth

Max POV

I’ve been thinking about what Nat said. Maybe she is right, maybe there is something still to be done to make it all better. I should give it a try.

“Where are you going you i***t”, I hear Alexandria shouts from behind me as I go toward the woods.

“Why would you want to know? We are not friends anymore, remember?”I say as she follows me.

“Don’t you play this f*****g card with me, Maximus, that one was on you” again with the f*****g name. I stop and turn to face her and she stops too.

“You are right, Alexandria, I f****d everything up, now I’m trying to” she cuts me off.

“Fix it? Do you really think this is fixable?” she says frowning her eyebrows.

“I don’t know, but I have to try something, I’ll be leaving soon and this maybe my only chance to talk to her” I say in desperation.

“And you think she will just forgive you!” she mocks.

“Hell no, and that’s not what I’m looking for Alexandria. Although I’ll beg for it, she deserves at least that”, I say irritated with her mockery.

“And what comes after that?” she asks like it’s obvious.

“I’ll grovel?” I say not really sure.

“Same thing dipshit” she says annoyed.

“Then I’ll let her do whatever she wants with me, shout , yell… I’ll let her beat the s**t out of me, I’ll even give her my dagger and let her stab me with it as many times as she wants…even if it kills me, hell, I hope it does” I raise my voice.

“Max, don-” and it’s my turn to cut her off.

“And if she does Alexandria, you have to promise you won’t do anything to her, or let anyone do. I know you kicked me out of your life but I know what would happen to you if I was gone … and you can’t take that out on her” I demand.

“Why the f**k are you talking like you are going on a suicide mission?” she asks with suspicion and I say nothing.

“You are, aren’t you mother fucker”, she realizes the true reason behind my visit.

“Why do you care, Alexandria?” I ask realy wanting to know, she said she never want to see my face again, so I’m granting her her wish.

“You just said you know what your death will do to me, asshole, so what kind of question is that?” she says shoving me. I try to say something but she shuts me up.

“ Yes, I kicked you out of my life, but you know I’ll always take you back… and how dare you put such a burden on Leila… killing another person, her mate of all people. Do you know how that will f**k her up even more, you selfish son of a bitch.” Okay, I didn’t think about that, I thought I’d be doing her a favor, offering her a sacrifice, giving her her revenge.

“I… I guess I didn’t think that through… I just can’t take it anymore … what happened that night… the guilt has been eating me inside for three whole years. I can still hear her screams like she is standing in-front of me, Alexandria, the horror in her eyes, it was the same look in your eyes when you knew… a monster, a filthy, murdering lying monster… that’s all I am now” I say with a broken voice, trying so hard to keep the tears from falling, but I guess one escaped any way… no amount of tears will ever wash what I did away.

“That’s not true, that’s not how I see you, you are not a monster, you just made an unforgivable mistake and you are paying the consequences” she says with sorrow.

“I still have to talk to her, Alexandria” I plead.

“Okay, you will go talk to her, but not today, and definitely not alone… I won’t let you get yourself killed, I mean I’ve been keeping people from killing your annoying ass ever since you stepped foot in this pack, I guess I’ll keep doing that in other packs too” she says with a shrug , then gives me a hug.

Does she forgive me? I doubt it. Feels sorry for me? maybe. But she loves me. I know that, just not the same way I love her.

Her hugs always heal me a little, that’s why I’m never the one to let go first.

“Better break that hug before we start kissing” she says laughing as she heads back and I follow. I’ll always follow her.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” I say chuckling, but it’s all I do. Dream, Dream about you.

Amelia POV

I haven’t gone to the cottage since I last saw Dean, it was too much. We haven’t been this close since the wedding.

He saved me from that marriage, from Richard, and from the rogues. He always saves me.

No, he is the reason why James is dead. He and his brother, it should have been them… maybe just Derek… no, father always said it was both of them, they begged him to go out with them, they even hid behind him when the hunters came, leaving him exposed. They didn’t even warn him.

But he jumped in a second to save me, and didn’t hesitate before throwing Richard out of the window, ughhhhh.

I’ve barely gotten out of my room. I don’t know what happened. I was acting so strong and cold but he melted all that away by just being near. f**k me.

“Yes, f**k you”, the ever ray of sunshine Amal says, and I ignore her like I usually do.

“Shut up Amal, you weren’t there yet when I lost James.”

“Neither were you, nor was father. You don’t know what really happened."

“Alpha Louis said, that Derek said that's what happened.”

“Yes, alpha Louis, was a very trustworthy man” Amal mocks. She doesn’t get it, she didn’t feel the loss, so I shut her out yet again.

But she got a point; Alpha Louis was a slimy man to say the least. I can’t remember how many times I helped clean up Dean's wounds from his father’s beating.

Maybe dad was too trusting? Or maybe I’m just looking for anything to get Dean off the hook. Anyway, I need to talk to my dad.

It’s way too early for anyone to be up, but I really need to talk to him, he won’t mind me waking him up, right?

As I approach my father’s room, I hear arguing coming out from the room, and the door is slightly open.

I get closer and I recognize beta Jackson’s voice, I also hear Dean’s name. What the hell are they talking about?

I get closer and now I can hear everything clearly.

“I don’t give a s**t Michael, you make your daughter reject him and marry my son like you promised or I’ll go to Derek myself and tell him what really happened that day”, Jackson threatens.

“What happened is they got my son killed” Dad says firmly.

“You’ve been lying for so long that you believed your own lie”, Jackson chuckles. What is he talking about?

“They were the ones supposed to die, not James” Dad snarls.

“And they would have if you hired adequate people to finish the job. Hell you didn’t even make sure that your son wouldn’t be with them”, Jackson says and the world stops. Everything Dad ever told me was a lie? i can’t even breathe.

Dad is the reason why my brother is dead, not Dean. He wanted to kill Dean and Derek? I can't even fathom what I just heard.

“You shut your f*****g mouth right now”, Dad growls and I see from the slight opening of the door that he got Jackson pinned to the wall.

“Of course, James would jump infront of them to protect them. He was a great man and a better alpha than you will ever be”, he taunts dad while still being pinned to the wall and my father punches him.

I can’t wait to see what happens next. I heard enough. My Dad killed my brother, and told me it was my mate’s fault. How could he do this to me? Why do this to me?

I just run, bare foot, through the woods to the one place I feel safe, to the one person that makes me feel safe, to my mate.

I reach the cottage and all I can do is scream, scream his name.

“Deaaaaannnn”

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Hello guys, what do you think about that ? poor amelia.

I also wanted to say thank you Donza Gregory for the photos that you've posted on the f*******: group. I absolutely loved your Max❤