The Cost of Feelings

2.The knock

Anita lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, her mind drifting between memories of home and the new world that surrounded her. She had finished unpacking her few belongings hours ago, arranging them neatly on the shelves and in the small closet, trying to make this strange room feel a little more familiar. But the quiet was heavy, and each passing minute reminded her that she was truly on her own.

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts, making her sit up. She hesitated, then swung her legs off the bed and padded over to open it. Standing in the doorway was a girl with smooth, dark hair falling in glossy waves over her shoulders. She looked flawless, her eyes lined with a soft touch of makeup, and she wore a pale pink sweater that looked softer than anything Anita had ever owned. In one hand, she gripped the handle of a sleek suitcase, a designer label flashing briefly in the light.

The girl—Ella, Anita remembered from the hostel assignment sheet—stepped into the room without a word, glancing around as if searching for something familiar. Anita greeted her softly, but Ella only offered a distracted nod, setting her suitcase beside the empty bed.

Anita lay back down, unsure of what else to say. The silence between them grew, filling the room like a presence of its own. She could hear Ella unpacking in near-silence, the faint sound of her bracelets clinking and the careful placement of her expensive perfumes and lotions on the dresser. She moved slowly, almost reluctantly, as if each action weighed on her.

After a while, Anita heard a quiet, muffled sound. She glanced over and saw Ella sitting on the edge of her bed, her head bowed, her shoulders trembling. Small, choked sobs escaped her, and Anita realized she was crying, her hands clutching the edges of her bedspread.

“I… I don’t want to be here,” Ella whispered, almost to herself. “I never wanted this, but they didn’t listen…”

Anita watched, feeling a pang of empathy for her roommate. For all her polished looks and designer clothes, Ella seemed as lost and vulnerable as she felt. In that moment, she understood that they might be more alike than she had realized—both of them grappling with the uncertainty of this new world, both feeling out of place in their own ways.