DERAILED AND DAMAGED

Chapter 6: THE PARENTS

I stood outside my parent’s house for a long time before knocked.

The old stones walls looked the same as ever- cold, too perfect and very lifeless.

The door opened to Nanny-another one, younger, unfamiliar

“Miss Ash,” She greeted, smiling warmly. “It’s been a while. Your mother’s in the sitting room.”

I nodded, stepping inside. The air smelled of polish and roses, like always.

Mom sat upright o the couch, spine straight, expression unreadable.

“Mom,” I said softly, forcing a smile. “It’s been a long time.”

She returned a brief nod. “Your father’s in his office. He wants to see you.

Of course he did.

Before I could speak, Dad appeared in the doorway, holding a file.

He didn’t even look at me properly-just a quick glance, sharp and dismissive. I guess I wasn’t even surprised at all, I was already used to that treatment.

“We have a meeting,” he said curtly. “Both of you. Now.”

The walk to his office felt like stepping into a courtroom.

The moment the door closed, a glass flew past my face and shattered against the wall.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he roared. “Going to that woman’s funeral?”

I could feel the glass bruising my face but I didn’t say a word, at all.

I didn’t move.

“James, stop!” Mom snapped, rising from her chair. She is already here and nothing happened actually, she said.

I kept my eyes on him. I’m sorry for not reporting to you but I’m not sorry for going there to show my last respect because that woman was like family to me, I said.

His hand came down fast and the next thing that I felt- a sharp slap on my face that echoed in the silence.

I could see the look of indifference and something else across Mom’s face- guilt but was quickly replaced with indifference like as if she doesn’t care whether I was hurt.

“We gave you this life,” Dad hissed, gripping my collar. “And we can take it back anytime we want.”

I clenched my hand tightly and felt like my fingers were going to break.

“James, release her now,” Mom said quietly.

“She’s not our toy. She’s done what we asked. She has helped us and we have helped her. This-” her voice trembled “- this isn’t ownership. It’s a transaction. And no one here is the Master.

Her words stunned both of us. It was the first time she’d spoken for me since that accident. This was the first time I was seeing her say this much and it was because of me, to say I wasn’t surprised.

He released me with a shove.

Diana, no Ash, she corrected herself immediately.

“Come,” Mom said quickly. “To my room. Now.”

I have something to show you, she dragged me along as we left Dad in his office looking like he wanted to murder someone.

I guess he has always hated my gut actually but I don’t care because the feeling is mutual.

She didn’t look at me as we entered the room maybe she would have seen the line of smile on my face. The moment the door closed, she quickly released my hand with disgust like it was scorching fire.

To say I didn’t feel bad actually was an understatement, I thought I was beginning to make progress with her, I guess it was just a long-life wish and maybe Cinderella stories aren’t real.

“What were you thinking? She hissed. Trying to shoot Lucas Davids? You could have been caught.” she shouted at me.

I froze. “How did you know that?”

I’m very sure did not announce to anyone that I was going there, I said immediately.

I could see the look of guilt flashed across her face which told me everything.

“You’ve always been watching me, keeping tabs,” I whispered. “You never trusted me.” I shouted at her, as she lost her balance and nearly hit the table.

“Stop-”

“Have you ever considered me your child, even for one second?” I grabbed her hands. “Just once?”

She quickly looked away from me immediately and I couldn’t even see her reaction. No answer.

I dropped her hands and laughed- a bitter, self- depreciating sound. “That’s what I thought.” That was more like it.

“Diana-”

“It’s Ash.”

I guessed that got to her, she stopped.

I turned towards the door, the silence between us colder than any slap.

Be safe mom, “Don’t worry, I’ll make this easy. I’ll stay at a hotel so as not to bring trouble to your doorstep.”

Why was I even telling her, I don’t think she even gives a f**k about my whereabouts, I said as she just shrugged her shoulders and walked away without a single word.

I laughed at myself. You fool, I thought.

Did you really think you were ever going to replace her?

Grow up. They will never accept you. They will never love you, was all I thought as I carried my load out of the house- bitterness in my chest heavier than the silence.