3. Travis
1104 Words
I didn’t recognize myself.
That was the first thought that surfaced once the storm inside my body began to settle, once the haze of heat and fury loosened its grip on my senses. The room was silent now, heavy with the aftermath of something I couldn’t fully comprehend.
And then reality returned. Violent and unforgiving. Raine stood there, tears streaming down his face, his body trembling, eyes wide with a mixture of fear and heartbreak that struck something sharp inside my chest.
But anger was louder. Anger always finds its voice first. “F*ck it,” I spat, dragging a hand through my hair as disgust crawled beneath my skin. “Get dressed, Raine.” My voice didn’t even sound human to my own ears. It was cold, jagged, stripped of anything remotely gentle. He flinched. God, he actually flinched. And something about that made my jaw tighten harder.
Because I knew that look. I had seen it before. On a man who had crossed me, a man who had owed me money, a man Harumi and I had beaten until he couldn’t stand. That same helpless terror. That same fragile vulnerability.
Except now… It was Raine.
And that thought should have softened me. But fury burned too fiercely. “You disgust me.” The words had left my mouth earlier, but they still echoed in my head like something irreversible, something I could never take back.
He dressed quickly, fingers shaking so badly he could barely manage the buttons of his shirt. Tears fell relentlessly, staining his cheeks, dripping onto the polished floor of my bedroom. I watched him. All rigid and breathing hard. Trying to cling to my anger because the alternative felt far too complicated. Because beneath the rage, beneath the betrayal, beneath the violation of trust. There was something else. Something dangerously unfamiliar.
When Raine finally stepped outside my room, I exhaled sharply, tension still coiled inside my muscles. It’s done. It’s over. Forget it, forget him.
But seconds passed. And he didn’t leave.
I sensed him before I saw him. His soft footsteps, somewhat hesitant. And then I felt it. That familiar warmth. Arms wrapping around me from behind. My entire body froze. Of all the things I expected. That was not one of them.
“I’m so sorry, Travis…” His voice shattered against my back. It was broken and fragile that I almost wanted to embrace him. Almost.
“I’m so sorry…” Tears soaked through my shirt as his face pressed against me, his grip tightening like he was holding onto something slipping away. “This is my one last try…”
My chest constricted. “I’ll say goodbye.”
Goodbye. The word landed strangely. It was uncomfortable, somehow. “I love you, Travis.”
Something twisted painfully inside me. “My One.” His voice was barely a whisper now. “Mi único.”
I couldn’t breathe properly. “I’m so sorry… I know I cannot erase what I did,” he continued, sounding so small. Silence swallowed the room. It was thick and suffocating. I should have pushed him away. Should have yelled again. Should have reminded him of everything he had done wrong. But my body refused to move. Because of his voice. His voice didn’t carry manipulation anymore or desperation nor reckless madness. It carried grief.
Finality.
And before I could process anything—
He turned me around.
His eyes were red, swollen, drowning in pain.
Then he kissed me. And by the gods! It was soft and he was trembling.
Nothing like the chaos from earlier. This kiss, this kiss felt like an ending, burying his own heart.
And for one disorienting second, I felt something crack inside my chest.
Then he stepped back and walked away. No hesitation. No pleading. No looking back. It was just quiet devastation. The sound of the door closing echoed through my mansion like a gunshot.
Then…. Nothing. I just stood there. Frozen in place. Mind blank while my heart is pounding. Minutes passed. Or maybe seconds. Time felt distorted, meaningless. But his words kept replaying relentlessly.
I’m so sorry, Travis.
This is my one last try.
I’ll say goodbye.
I love you.
My One.
Mi único.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Like a curse. Like something clawing its way beneath my skin. My hand rose instinctively to my chest. I then felt a sharp, unfamiliar ache. I frowned, confused and disoriented. “Why…” I murmured under my breath. My fingers pressed harder against my chest. “Why does it hurt?” The question felt absurd and illogical. It was infuriating that I wanted to carve my heart out with a knife. Because it shouldn’t hurt. It was Raine. A brat.
A foolish, reckless, irrational boy who had drugged me. Who had crossed every boundary imaginable. So why?
A soft tap against my shoulder shattered my spiraling thoughts. I turned abruptly.
Stavos stood there. Behind him are Vaughn, Klaus, Lance, Heaven and the others…my brothers, my constants, my unshakable foundation. It was a good thing Rafa and Samuel were not there. If they knew I punched their brother I'd be dead by now.
Their expressions were different. It was something akin to concern and something heavy. “You’re crying, Aderfos.” Stavos’s voice was quiet.
Only then did I realize. My vision was blurred. My cheeks are wet. My throat was burning.
Tears.
I was crying. The realization struck like another blow.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” I stared at him, speechless.
Because I didn’t know the answer. Didn’t understand the question and, most of all, I didn’t understand myself.
“Aderfos,” Vaughn said softly. “We are here for you.” Their voices blended together, that familiar unison of solidarity that had carried us through countless storms.
And suddenly….
Everything collapsed. The confusion, the anger. The unbearable ache clawing inside my chest.
And the dam broke. A raw, broken sound tore from my throat as tears spilled violently, uncontrollably. My knees nearly gave out as the weight of something I couldn’t even name crushed down on me. Because Raine was gone. Because goodbye suddenly felt real. And his absence already felt like a wound.
Fuck. The thought exploded inside my skull. f**k. f**k. f**k. Why does it hurt?! Why?! And beneath the chaos, beneath the tears, beneath the storm ripping through my chest. One horrifying realization surfaced. Why did I let him go? My breath hitched violently as my hands trembled. Why?! But the only answer was silence.
And the echo of a kiss that felt far too much like regret.
- Writer
