PART-TIME LOVER, FULL-TIME FRIEND [ONE SHOT]

ONE SHOT

[ Part-time lover, full-time friend ]

I often wonder what would I become if I'm not a coward.

Looking back, I think that I can be more than just a wallflower inside the room and a wishful thinker. I honestly did not see myself becoming self-reliant, independent, and courageous. The funny thing is... I tried so hard to become someone else for them to accept me.

"Hey! Agatha? What's up!" The 'popular guy' from another class called me.

I walked faster because people might hate and bully me if they see me talking to James. I did not even glance at him.

"Good morning, Agatha!" My soul almost left my body from shock.

James is in front of me, smiling ear to ear.

"What do you want?!" I tried to hold back my anger because I feel like all eyes, are on us, on me. I rolled my eyes at James.

I walked past him and never say a word. It's only 9 AM but my day was already ruined. Before my class starts, all my classmates were talking and smiling while looking at me. I knew that it's because James approached me a while ago.

I sighed. "Just let them do whatever they want. It'll pass." I keep on chanting it inside my mind.

It is a tiring day. No one wants to talk to me or be near to me. I even saw my name written on the wall of our school restroom.

"Ur A B*tch, Agatha!"

"Ugly Agatha"

"Don't dream too much, Agatha"

I'm not affected when reading those mean words. As far as I can remember, I didn't eat for a week because of sadness. They don't ruin me. They only ruin themselves. They're all giving me too much time and attention just to degrade me.

"I heard they are all hating on you again." James just pops out from somewhere and now I remember who put me through this hard time again.

"And thanks to you," I said in a sarcastic tone. I smirked while looking at him.

Since James and I were childhood friends, I can be myself in front of him. I can roll my eyes at him. I can say what's on my mind without any judgments. But that was before when my life was pretty simple and normal.

As I turned 18, my aspects of life changed. I refuse to indulge in the presence of people who thinks dragging people down is fun. I hate it when people think being mean is okay. I hate it when people spread rumors, with or without any basis. Who has the right to do that, right?

James and I always walk home together. We're pretty close but I told him not to talk to me when we're at school. He's popular with girls and I'm just an ordinary schoolgirl with a failing grade.

"You're in deep thoughts again? I'm sorry. I broke my promise again. I gave you another headache." James put his hands above my shoulder. Just like before, he's acting like we're a train. I'm the captain and he's my passenger.

I laughed.

"See? You're smiling again!" he said.

It's summer and we have a summer getaway with all the senior students. My professor gave us a pamphlet to see the beach resort we are planning to visit. Everyone in class is excited.

"Are you going?"

The prettiest girl in our school miraculously talked to me. I didn't say any word to her, I'm speechless. Everyone in school praised and loves her. She's smart, model-type, artsy, and rich. She's also the captain of the cheerleading squad to our basketball team, and James is the Captain Ball of it. From what I have heard, she's the rumored girlfriend of James as of now. I never asked James about it because I don't care.

"Hmm, I don't know if I'm going. Why?" I finally found the perfect word to say.

"You better come! My friends and I wanted to talk to you for a very long time." She said in an excited tone. I'm just staring at her and trying to think of what could be her intention.

She looks like she wanted me to ask her the reason why she wants to talk to me. I sighed.

"What is it?" I fake a smile. She sits in front of me and happily discussed her plans for the school summer getaway. "My friends and I wanted you to join our cheering squad!" I looked at her, not buying the things that she said.

She wrapped her hands in mine. "Well, you see... you're pretty. You might discover your talent if you join us. I remember, I didn't really see myself becoming a cheerleader but here I am."

It's been three days since Emily talked to me and invited me to be part of their team. I know that deep inside, I wanted them to like me. I wanted to become part of the popular circle. I wanted to feel wanted. Is being popular happy? Is being admired feels nice? Will it matter if I become friends with them?

I didn't tell James that I'll join the summer getaway. He said that he'll not go if I'm not going.

It's the day of our summer getaway.

James invited me to go to a food carnival. I declined his invitation and told him I have a fever.

"Finally! I thought you decided not to come!" Emily said.

All her friends were there, and smiling at me. They all greeted me and said that they all approved Emily's plan. Emily and I share the same room.

"Agatha? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Emily smiled.

"Sure! What is it?" I smiled back.

"I told you a while ago that you're part of our team right? But... you need to experience that initiation so that, you can be officially part of us."

"Yeah. Sure!" I said. I can't hide my excitement.

"Good. So, come to the abandoned house near the forest. You know that, right?"

"Yes. I know where it is."

I didn't ask her anything or why are we going to the house. I know that we're not allowed to go there because it's dangerous. I didn't hesitate nor think of anything else. All I know is that, finally, I can have friends and become popular.

It's now midnight.

I'm now inside the house that Emily said. "Emily? Guys? Where are you?" I said in a low tone.

5 minutes have passed and no one seems to be here. I decided to go back to the hotel and talk to Emily. I opened the door and there's a tall man outside the door. The moon is shining so bright but I can't recognize his face. All I see was his silhouette.

"Who are you?" I asked. He didn't say a word.

He slowly walked towards me. I stepped back. "Who are you? Where's Emily?" My voice is already shaking. He's not saying any word.

The tall guy cut the distance between us and forcefully grabbed my wrist. I couldn't find any strength to run and scream for help. The guy pushed me down. I'm lying on the floor. Crying and begging to let me go.

I tried to run but he pulled my long hair and forced himself to me. I screamed at the top of my lungs but no one seems to hear a thing. I remember that we're in the middle of the forest. Who would come here in the middle of the night, alone and vulnerable? Only a fool would do that. And clearly, I am that fool.

He ripped my clothes. I'm still begging him to let me go.

"No! Please! Stop!" I pleaded.

"Don't do this to me.. don't ruin my life. Please!" before I almost lost all the hope that's left on me. Someone kicked the guy on top of me. When I saw the tall guy got thrown away, the mysterious guy punched the tall guy in the face and kicked him in the stomach. I heard the tall guy's voice hurting. I started to cry harder and cover my ears and closed my eyes.

Someone grabbed me and scooped me up as I cry.

When he put me down, I couldn't stop crying and shaking from fear. I feel the warmth of his hands as he put them on my face.

"I'm sorry" I heard a familiar voice.

I slowly opened my eyes. I saw James, crying. "I'm sorry. If I only find this place early, this thing wouldn't happen to you." James' voice cracked. He's trying to hold his tears back. He hugged me so tight.

I cried so hard. All the things that happened to me a while ago finally sink in. I am saved. James saved me. What if James wasn't there? Am I still alive after that? Why would Emily do this horrible thing to me?

James confronted Emily and all her friends. She got kicked out of the school and was given one-year of community service, as well as her friends. For the guy who tried to r**e me. We found out that it's Emily's older brother. I already forgive him but I still decided to sue him for what he did to me.

Emily planned to ruin me and my life. James hated him since day one because he didn't like her attitude. To hurt James back, he made a plan to hurt me to hurt James.

"Are you okay?" James and I were heading home.

"Of course! I've realized a lot of things because of what happened to me." I said

"Good! I'm happy for you"

"Me too. From now on, I will be who I wanted to be. And thanks to you. Thank you for being a good friend to me. Thank you for saving me, for saving my life, James. I'm forever grateful to have you"

James and I hold hands as we walked home.

I realized that I should choose a person whom to trust wholeheartedly. I mean, wanting to fit in isn't that bad. But trying to become someone else is not healthy. It makes us a bad person, it makes us insecure and it makes us look stupid. Fooling ourselves can kill us. It's only a matter of time because it's draining. Having one true friend is enough. One true friend is worth more than a thousand people. I am really happy that I finally know the true meaning of friendship, self-love, and contentment.

There's more to life than being a lonely person trying to fit in, in this mad society.