The lost love

Love Confusion

It was all well everything was going okay we were happy, We were not in the same department but still we spent most of the time together we have many same subjects and I always need Jack's help to do my assignments and projects and he always make time to help me even if he himself was busy but he was always there for me and never dissuaded me.

Now from a few days he started to become more and more friendly with a guy Ian from his class from the way Ian talk anyone can tell he is interested in him and I don't know why but his affection towards jack make me jealous. He take care of Jack always asking him for food and water make Jack laugh on his jokes Jack was my friend but I never really took care of him like this and now when he is doing so I am feeling more and more jealous.

It was almost a month since we met Ian and now I reach at the limit of my jealousy many events in  between these days make me realize that I myself have feelings for Jack and his closeness with Ian making me realize that, but I am confused how can I like him I am not gay for sure I had many affairs with the girls but never felt attractive towards a boy I am not homophobic but this sudden change in interest making me lose my mind.

This week too ends we had a party at Ian's club basically his father's but he called it his and are ready to go well I don't  feel like going but i have to go first to accompany Jack as he was begging me to and secondly I want to make sure Ian don't make any move on Jack. I don't want Jack and Ian to be together as I am sure I like Jack and I want him to be with me. Jack must have notice my change in  behavior so he asked "Anything wrong with you these days you seem quite distracted and moody and lost" I wanted to tell him right away but I was afraid that if anyone knows about me being gay I may lose my cool dude image I don't want to lose my Image and I also don't want to lose him I was confuse desperate and afraid all at once. "Nothing really I am just tired and don't feel like going"  he was amazed by my reply "You don't feel like going to the party You are not Michael where is Michael  what did you do to my friend??? " he laughed at his own lame joke making me chuckle too " you can talk to me whenever and whatever you want you know that you might get a proper advise and you also must have known that I won't be judging you for anything." I wanted to tell him at the very moment but I want to be sure first myself I want to accept it by myself first before telling him."I am aware of this quite well..... I was cut of when his mobile started to ring cut my talk short "Hey Ian .... Yeah we are just on our own way ..... No no no you must not have think like that I will never ditch you ......HAHAHahhah ..... no no no I am not like them..... we will see it in minutes ..." and the crazy phone calls ended I don't like the way he was talking to Ian "What did he need he can't wait? " " he thought I am not coming as I am a book warm I may ditch him for the party." "You should have" He must have sensed the irritation in my voice "What makes you quite grumpy Mike" I heard my nick name after a long time he was the only one to call me with this name "I don't like this friend of yours he is annoying that's why I don't want to come to his party" : you came here with me and as for liking Ian he is a good guy but still you don't want to talk to him just greet him once then talk to me after all you are here for me" "yeah yeah and we reached here" as i parked my car Ian come running out of the club cheerfully "I am very very happy that you make it thank you for coming too Michael"he seemed to be happy but not for my arrival he was faltering himself on Jack fully and his flatness making my jealousy worsened but I promised myself I won't throw him any fit so I just smiled at him and say "my pleasure by the way I was actually dragged here so no need to thanks me but thanks Jack" He holds Jack's upper arm and take him with him "Come Jack I'll introduce you to my other friends " Jack look towards me and I give him an assuring nod to tell him I am following him. Jack seemed to be happy around him but nowadays he seems uncomfortable whenever he is with him he drags me too he seems like he don't want to be left alone with him. Ian introduce us to many of his friends most of them seems like drunk already and some seems like they already know Jack then we started to enjoy the party Jack is a light drinker so he always keeps it slow but Ian is stuffing him with one after another drinks a girl comes to me and my attention converted to her from Jack i offer her a drink and after a while of talking she ask me to join her for dance I turned my head to face Jack to inform him that I am going for a dance as soon as I turned my face I saw Ian offering some peanuts to Jack and Jack was too much drunk to even remember that he is allergic to many things and peanut is one of them "Hey man .... Stop ..." I grabbed Ian's hand he had already stuffed some in Jack's mouth " spit it out Jack don't chew .... " I ordered Jack and motion bar tender to give me a bowl and water bottle " ....Jack gargle man ...." Ian seems confused " What is your problem ....I didn't feed him on poison man ... Chill " I was focused on Jack but I turned my head towards Ian "He is allergic to peanuts so you basically feed him poison" so back off..... "i turned to Jack again when he pulled on my jacket sleeves "I am okay I didn't swallow any of it and its not Ian's fault he doesn't know and I didn't pay attention to what I eat so basically its my fault and you can enjoy now I am fully sober now .... " he smile a little after mentioning me to enjoy " you are not paying attention to what you are eating so where were your attention ....... checking out someone ....." I replied in a teasing tone. To which he smile widely while punching me on my shoulder playfully.... from a distance I heard a voice "Are you done here can we go to dance now?....." I totally forget that the girl from before was still waiting for me I turned towards Jack "We should get you checked .... We ...." he cut me mid sentence and gave me assuring look "I am perfectly fine no need to rush You can enjoy...... pretty lady waiting for you and let me also check out someone for me too." he chuckled but his last words make me even more jealous there are many men who was checking him out and top of them was Ian and I don't know why but I don't like it ... He then turn towards the girl and tell her "if you want to dance with him you have to drag him with you or else he will be clingy to me..." and after saying he starts to talk to Ian .... I don't want to go but still I decide to go with the girl...... we went to the dance floor and started to dance.

I was looking over to where Jack is every five to 10 mins to make sure he is okay and the strange thing was I caught Ian checking me every time as if he wants to see that I still paying attention to Jack or my attention is diverted from him while talking to Jack and this make me more suspicious of him .... suddenly the girl I was dancing Kissed me the kiss was hot and tempting but it last only 5 minutes and I broke it because I realized I imagined Jack while Kissing her which clears my feelings towards him more and more and frustrated me of blurring my vision to see who I am .... I have an urged to tell Jack that I started to feel towards him but How can I , I am a straight guy ..... who was always attracted towards girls then why now I am attracting towards him..... I looked towards the place where Jack is sitting ... but addition to my shock he was not there anymore nor was Ian. may be Ian was waiting for my attention to divert from Jack and he got his chance  It felt as if I lost him and a thought of him being with Ian occurred to me and it hurt me, but then I can't ignore the way Ian was checking me so I decide to go find Jack....... I was about to go when the girl pull my hand "Where are you going.... we didn't finish yet..... " I replied to her "I am just going to check my friend ....if he needs anything ...." she cut me mid sentence "He is not a baby he can take care of himself why are you so worried about him and beside that he has that other boy with him so let him be ..... " I thought for a moment then was about to say something again but she again kissed me she caught me off guard and slip his tongue in my mouth it was hot and my body starts responding towards her kiss and kissed her back with the same passion ...... and for some seconds I forget about Jack but after the few seconds thoughts of Jack and Ian kissing with the same passion as us broke this second hot kiss " what is your problem ... " she spatted in anger "I ...I can't do this I ... have to find my friend " I only manage those words while leaving her and dance floor behind and go to search for Jack I tried to call him ..... thanks to him he answered the call but before listening or speaking he cut the call I tried again and his phone was switched off ... I started to look for him again I asked a server there for him no one saw him but one of the female waitress tell me he saw two guys in the alleyway beside the bar .... So I decided to check there .....I was stunned at the scene I experienced on opening the door to the alleyway .....