Am I Enough

The Morning After

Chapter 5

Dahlia

The next morning, I drove into the school car park, parking up. I sat back in my seat and let out a deep breath; I wanted to forget the entirety of yesterday. Life at school was embarrassing as it is. I didn't need to add to that by making a huge “mistake” like taking all my clothes off and kissing some stranger in the woods. Giggling at the thought of it, I grabbed my bag and stepped out the car; looking around, not many people were staring, maybe they had moved on. That thought quickly dissipated when I clocked Saint charging at me. He had the coldest expression on his face. Saint: “WHAT THE F**K DAHLIA! YOU JUST LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?” Well, now everyone was staring at me, he stood in front of me looking puzzled Dahlia: Look can you keep it down, like you said it was a mistake, so just leave me alone” i looked at him with anger in my eyes; pushing past him Dahlia: “Just leave me alone, yeah?” I stormed away into the school and to my first lesson. I don't need this, I don't need to be getting involved with another boy that's just gonna mess me around, I deserve better; I'm worth more.

And with that, I didn't think about him or that kiss again until my last lesson of the day. I thought he'd got the message, I thought he understood that it was over. He made himself very clear and so did I. Dahlia: “I thought I told you to leave me alone”. I asked him with anger clearly showing on my face Saint: “Babe, I have this class. It's just a plus you're here too”, amusement written all over his face and a killer smile to go with it Dahlia: “Seriously, you take Art” I laughed, he didn't look like the type. Without warning, he had turned himself around on his stool and dragged me between his legs. Saint: “So you're gonna sit next to me, Babe”. I couldn't believe his audacity. We shared the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced. I didn't even feel those things with Noah, then he pushed me away and told me it was a mistake; now he’s calling me babe and caressing my arm. Dahlia: “WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU”. I shouted “I'm sorry I thought you ever so delicately stated whatever happened was a mistake and from the way you looked at me yesterday you wanted nothing from me”. I stared at him in utter shock; was there something wrong with him or something?

Before he could reply, Mr Shelby walked into the classroom. Mr Shelby: “Dahlia, decide what you're doing. Either sit down or leave. It doesn't really bother me, but I have decided now so I can get on with the lesson”. I sat down with a sigh and got my sketch book out and started to draw. I had been drawing for 10 minutes and I slowly dragged my eyes to Saints book and saw the most beautiful drawing of a girl's face, water droplets dripping off her face…..wait, that was me. Saint: “beautiful isnt she? I haven't been able to get those eyes out of my head”. He turned his head slowly, he looked straight into my eyes and i couldn't help but look back Saint: “It's funny, i known you long time, but you have some kind of hold on me. I tried, but I don't want to stay away from you”. I can't do this, I just can't. I don't know what it is, but I can see a tortured soul in his eyes and I know he’s nothing but trouble. Typical bad boy, I can sense it. I'm gonna get hurt if I have any kind of relationship with Saint, but he's right. I feel this pull too.

I'm not gonna sit here and admit that he has the same hold on me, i'm not gonna tell her that i feel this strange pull, that i'm intrigued and attracted to him. I turn around and distract myself with my drawing. I don't know what it is about art but i find myself getting so enthralled in, it calms me and fills me with so much joy. Somewhere quiet; sketchpad and pencil hand is my happy place. Without paying attention i find myself drawing an eye, his eye. God his eyes, dark mysterious but you can see the pain in them, once again i was thinking about that kiss how i felt when he touched me. I was broken out of my trance when the school bell rang; how has it been an hour already? Saint: “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, i don't know why because as i was putting my things away he was dragging me down the hallway and out the fire exit to the school field. Dahlia: “Saint, i thought i made it perfectly clear to you. Leave. Me. Alone.” i said in the sarcastic tone i could use on this boy. Saint: “I know but i just want set the record straight, about yesterday…..please” he said giving me the most sincere look a boy like him could probably give.

Dahlia: “Go on then. I’m listening”. I waited tapping my foot looking frustrated then he said something that truly shocked me; Saint: “Okay, well for starters, i didn't mean to make you feel the way i did, i just…its just im a mess and i don't want to drag you into it. I live a horrible and shocking lifestyle but I love it. I drink and do d***s, i smoke and i'm the perfect definition of a manw***e”. I didn't know what to say to any of it but before i could utter a word he gently pushed me against the wall and smashed his lips hard against mine and i easily fell into kissing him back but as quick as i fell i came to my senses and pushed him away. Dahlia: “NO! Look, i admit i feel something but i am not willing to put myself at risk of getting hurt! We've known eachother what 2 days?! And in those 2 days we've made out twice and you've seen me in my underwear!” i breath heavily staring into his eyes Saint: “Twice” Dahlia: “Hhuh?” Saint: “Twice, i've seen you in your underwear twice.” I couldn't believe him, he’s really starting to piss me off Dahlia: “Is this some joke to you, huh? Look its fine, im fine dont worry. I'm not gonna get in the way of you “amazing” lifestyle. So how about we both go our separate ways i'll leave you to your business and you leave me to mine” before he could say or do anything i shove past him making sure he knew where we both stood and stormed off. I cant believe him, he's right though i dont want and need to get involved with a guy like that.