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Chapter Eleven (The Luna Park)

Aref returned home, deeply immersed in a sea of thoughts, drowning in an ocean of doubts and confusion that pushed him into a profound state of discomfort and alienation from everything around him. He spent a long period engulfed in silence and bewilderment, distancing himself from everyone, including his beloved grandfather.

That period weighed more heavily on him than any burden he had previously borne. Even the words of Abu Al-Hikma seemed trivial compared to what Aref felt now. During the time leading up to his encounter with the researcher in that heated debate, Aref had convinced himself that Abu Al-Hikma was just a sarcastic man who often left his intentions ambiguous. He always left matters vague and claimed his words were mere jokes. With this reasoning, Aref managed to deceive himself and overcome his doubts and obsessions until his meeting with the researcher—a meeting that devastated his mind before his heart and drained him of the remaining shreds of faith and submission he once had.

Aref started to feel that the faith and certainty he had prided himself on, his belief in God, had become a form of foolishness or madness—an illusion of metaphysical fantasy. He struggled in vain to cling to the remnants of his faith, which now resembled ashes scattered by the wind or a feather caught in a storm. These thoughts built a massive barrier, isolating him from his supposed faith and the God he once considered the wisest of creators and the fairest of judges.

He stopped attending religious sermons he had always been keen on and immersed himself in scientific books and research, especially those presented to him by the researcher he debated. These works were smuggled into the religious library through bribed guards who ensured their secrecy from Antar’s oversight.

The researcher, seeing Aref's love for reading and critical thinking, targeted him as a potential mind open to reasoning rather than blind submission. The smuggled books presented scientific ideas challenging Antar's doctrine, which dominated the library with works glorifying Antar and his decrees. These texts perpetuated the notion that faith in Antar, his messengers, and his commands was the essence of life and the key to success.

Aref had always been one of the staunch believers in Antar after a long struggle with the doubts that had haunted him since childhood. Perhaps it was to please his beloved grandfather or to align himself with the preaching and repetition of Antar’s sacred texts, which he once accepted wholeheartedly. Over time, Aref became a devoted believer and a fierce defender of the faith. However, his recent doubts forced him to confront the contradictions in Antar’s teachings and question the infallibility of the sacred texts.

Aref became reclusive, barely eating, consuming amounts insufficient even for an infant. His grandfather, Nesr, noticed the change in his grandson’s behavior, recalling the visit of Abu Al-Hikma and the peculiar transformation that followed. Despite Nesr's repeated attempts to engage Aref in conversation, to share his burdens and alleviate his worries, Aref evaded every opportunity, claiming illness confined him to his room. Even his fiancée, whom he cherished above all, became someone he avoided with fabricated excuses, leaving Nesr to fabricate explanations to maintain appearances.

Realizing the situation couldn’t continue, Nesr decided to confront Aref directly, determined to uncover the reasons behind his withdrawal and transformation. Knocking insistently on Aref’s door and receiving no response, Nesr entered to find his grandson immersed in reading the smuggled scientific research. Aref, startled by his grandfather’s sudden appearance, rose hesitantly to greet him. Nesr, with a mix of sarcasm and sorrow, addressed him, expressing concern over Aref’s recent behavior and detachment.

Their conversation revealed Aref’s internal struggle. He confessed to Nesr his growing realization that the reality he once believed in was, in fact, a grand deception orchestrated by nature and the whims of fate. Aref described life as a labyrinth of illusions, a metaphysical charade that manipulated human consciousness.

Despite Nesr’s attempts to counter Aref’s assertions by emphasizing the importance of faith and the divine wisdom of Antar’s teachings, Aref rejected these arguments. He dismissed Antar’s doctrine as a fabricated narrative, a means of control perpetuated by fear and blind adherence. Aref argued that the concepts of divine justice and morality were mere constructs, manipulated to maintain societal order and suppress intellectual freedom.

As the dialogue progressed, Nesr’s worry deepened, while Aref’s resolve strengthened. He declared his intention to seek knowledge and truth, abandoning the illusions of faith. Nesr, overwhelmed by concern for Aref’s safety in a society dominated by Antar’s followers, remained silent, burdened by the fear of the consequences that could befall his grandson.

Abu Al-Hikma’s unexpected arrival added another layer to the exchange. His sarcastic remarks and sharp observations further fueled the tension between Aref and Nesr. Abu Al-Hikma’s presence seemed to embolden Aref, who found validation in the old man’s wit and critical perspective. Yet, Nesr grew increasingly uneasy, perceiving Abu Al-Hikma’s influence as a threat to Aref’s already fragile faith.

The chapter concluded with the unresolved conflict between Aref’s pursuit of truth and Nesr’s desperate hope to protect his grandson from the perilous path of doubt and defiance. Abu Al-Hikma, ever the provocateur, observed the unfolding drama with a mix of amusement and intrigue, leaving the ultimate resolution uncertain.