Fear and Love

Stuck and Can't Get Out

    Living with anxiety isn’t the easiest mental health issue to deal with. Let’s be honest no mental health issue is, for one girl anxiety started so young she didn’t know what it was and had to handle every up down worse than normal kids. To top it off she is a wolf with even more built up energy than a normal human.

         Chapter 1 Stuck and Can’t Get Out

Kailey is not the normal goddess, every man wants. She is the alphas daughter of the dark knight pack her father Sebastian was an amazing pack leader but as a farther he treated his daughter below the help. All pack members know her rank, but treated her as her father did, beat her smack her around, and more. The only two wolves who didn’t were the head staff Mrs. Bailey and Jackson. Mrs. Bailey made sure Kailey ate and Jackson made sure she trained and was at her best. As an Alpha female she was much stronger than most wolves due to the alpha gene, but her father didn’t want her trained, he didn’t want a daughter as a first born but with no sons before his wife died Kailey was the only child, but he wasn’t handing the pack over to her he was giving it to his next in command Derek’s first son Eric and his second son Jackson would become beta. Sebastian saw his daughter a frail weak girl, he didn’t want that for his pack.

Sebastian in his office called for his daughter to the office, beat and tired Kailey came in. Kailey “Yes father, what can I do for you?” Sebastian “Don’t be smart with me!”  Instantly Kailey bowed and kept her head down. Sebastian” In one week we are hosting the Alpha meeting, where as you know all visiting Alpha, Beta’s, and Gamma and mates come and renew treaties, and other business that needs to be handled. You are in charge of cooking all the food and I expect nothing but the best, as well as you will have a fitted outfit and will need to have someone do hair and makeup show we can show our pack in the brightest light. I expect you on your best behavior, and if you follow through since that Saturday is your 18th birthday, I will grant your wish to leave the pack for good, no coming back.”   The one thing Kailey wanted was to get away this pack would never accept her as alpha since her mother died and all she had to do was get through one more week. Kailey” Yes Father, I understand and thank you.”  Sebastian” Don’t think me, you should have been a boy, but we are here now and I do not want you to lead this pack. You are dismissed.”  Kailey left the room and the countdown begins.

Derek Beta” Sir are you sure you want to do that? She is your daughter. A low growl escaped Sebastian’s lips. Derek “Sebastian you know what I mean, we grew up together you know I mean no harm.” Sebastian “I know, it’s just she’s a girl she can’t lead this pack. She’s never even trained and I can’t trust that a female can take this pack where we want it to go.” Derek “Seriously? Whose fault is that? I’ve been telling you for years she needed to be in training but you wouldn’t do it. You were afraid, you’ve treated her like s**t below omegas, and that’s not even the worst thing, you’ve let the pack treat her like s**t beat her up slap her and have done nothing.”  Another growl slipped Sebastian lips. Derek” Don’t, you know I’m not scared of you. You know that. You also know I’m speaking the truth.” Sebastian “I am not discussing this any further, she’s gone by the end of week either way. I can’t have her hear any more.” With his alpha tone Derek as beta couldn’t do anything but obey his command, and walk out.

As Derek was walking out, he ran into his son Jackson. Derek” Son what the hell, why are you so pissed off?” Jackson” Is it true, is he really going to let her go?”  Derek was confused how in the hell did Jackson know.  Derek” Let’s go to my office and we will talk about it, the alpha is already in a bad mood and we don’t need your head ripped off either.” Jackson “Fine.”  Heading down the stairs both men caught a glimpse of Kailey in run down t-shirt and jeans and hair pulled up in a short pony tail. The bruises still healing on her face and arms. That fired up Jacksons wolf and he let out a growl making Kailey jump. Derek “Jackson!” Jackson” Sorry Kailey max was upset sorry.” Kailey “Oh I’m sorry, I’ll go finish the down stairs. “She hurried down the stairs but looked back and gave Jackson a smile letting him know she was okay.

Once in the office Derek sat down and so did Jackson in front of the desk. Jackson “So what the hell dad, I thought you said she was going to stay. Why is he pushing her to leave?”  Derek “Son, he’s the alpha and it’s his daughter and while I don’t agree with his decision or the way he has treated her we must respect his decision. Have you been training her as I told you to?”  Jackson “This is so stupid, she’s our alpha, she can fight, better than some of our most experience fighters. She can do it; he just needs to give her a chance.”  Derek “Son, this is his decision, we will make sure she has enough money and clothes to get her started and from there if she is as smart and strong as you and Mrs. Bailey say then she will find her way.” Jackson “Dad, what if she is my mate, then what? I won’t let anyone hurt her, it’s killing me watching her get hurt as it is but if my wolf is as sure of himself and knows more than I do, we can’t lose her. Her father can’t hurt her anymore if she is mine.” Derek “Son, don’t go challenging the alpha, not right now, let’s get through this week, and I’ll talk with your mom and we will figure this out.” Jackson “Fine dad, but I mean it she can’t leave.” Jackson stormed off and Derek now had a headache today couldn’t get worse.

Down in the kitchen Kailey was sitting at the bar and Mrs. Bailey was giving Kailey her breakfast 2 massive sticky cream cheese Cinnamon Rolls, 3 blueberry pancakes, 6 eggs with cheese, onion, butter, garlic, 8 pieces of bacon and 2 sausage links. Mrs. Bailey gave me a quick smile and started making me a plate, Kailey didn’t even notice I was staring at her. She wasn’t no stick skinny she wolf, she was curvier then the others and she had just the most beautiful blue eyes that draw you in and you just get mesmerized. Her stomach wasn’t flat and it had some love I wanted to touch and as if my mind wasn’t already in the gutter my member shot straight up as I watched her lick and suck the icing off her fingers. Jacksons eyes went black with lust and his wolf Denaryn was itching to come forward. As soon as her scent hit me it was a beautiful vanilla cinnamon baked roll it’s so sweet and I couldn’t get enough. Mrs. Bailey noticed what was happening and threw one of the little kids balls at me and that snapped me back, to not only Mrs. Bailey smiling and giggling, but there Kailey staring at me so confused and scared and I didn’t want that, “She shouldn’t be scared of us, we were made for her.” “Denaryn we know this, but she’s only 17 and we know her history we’ve watched as everyone has hurt her and done almost nothing due to alpha command.”  Mrs. Bailey “Jackson? Is everything alright?” That snapped me out of the conversation with Denaryn, “Yes, everything is great Mrs. Bailey, and thank you for this scrumptious meal.” Mrs. Bailey “I didn’t make it, Mrs. Kailey did all on her own, and it tastes as if I made it, I didn’t lift a finger.” Kailey just looked up and smiled but quickly looked back down at her plate. Jackson “That’s awesome.” Shoving a bit of cinnamon roll in my mouth and taking his seat next to her and just for a second their legs brushed against each other and lighting sparks hit both of them, Kailey jumped out of her seat and kneeled down, Jackson just looked at her what was she doing. If she felt what I felt she shouldn’t be kneeling she needs to be in my arms.

Kailey “I’m so sorry sir Jackson, I should have moved.” I can’t believe his leg touched me and what were those sparks? It couldn’t be, no way, I can’t have a mate in this pack. While Jackson has protected me from what he could without scrutiny, but when her father went at her he couldn’t do anything. No matter what sparks, I need to leave this pack I will never be respected or wanted here. I’m grateful for the beta’s taking me under their wing especially their mom Alexis made it a little easier after my mom passed.  Jackson “Kailey stand up I’m not mad at you, it was my fault, please come eat with me.” As if his soothing words calmed everything in her body she stood up and sat back down next to Jackson, his hand on her hip and sparks were shooting through her, what the hell was happening.  Jackson stuck in the position hand on her hip and didn’t want to move.  Moment broke as soon as Kimmy came in screaming her head off.  Kimmy “b***h get off my man, and get back to doing laundry, I need my red dress for a party tonight and I need it!”  On cue Kailey got up and started to walk away, but Jackson wasn’t having it. Jackson “Kimmy go f**k yourself, I am not your man. One night of making out when I was drunk doesn’t make me yours. Also, Kailey is the Alphas daughter show some damn respect.” Kimmy “Jackson baby you know that isn’t true, you know the night at the lake was more than just making out, you loved shoving it in me and feeling it all. For that b***h even the alpha doesn’t recognize her, and has told us to treat her as nothing, so I will.”  Kailey was disgusted by what she was hearing and the look on her face killed Jackson, it wasn’t true but for Kailey she knew Kimmy was digging at her and it was working. Kailey “I’ll leave you two and go get the laundry done. Kimmy your dress will be at your door by 3pm.” Kailey walked out and Jackson was left with the w***e she wolf.  Jackson “Really Kimmy? I don’t even want to be with you like that, and you know that. Why be some b***h when she didn’t even do anything to you?” Kimmy “You’re mine and that’s that. Ill see you escorting me to the party this weekend, right?” Jackson “No, find someone else.”  Jackson walked out and Mrs. Bailey had a major smile on her face. Kimmy left standing alone, “I’ll do anything to have Jackson as mine, anything!”

Down in the laundry room Kailey worked on Kimmys dress so wanting to destroy it, but knowing freedom on the line she would just let it go.  Music started on her phone it was a text from one of the alphas regarding the party.  Alpha Andrew “Hey Kailey, just wanted to confirm that its noted that our beta and gamma females that will be with us this Saturday and their food allergies, of peanut butter and fish. Hope you have a good rest of the day.”  Just like Alpha Andrew to make sure his pack members are well taken care of. Kailey “Yes sir, its been noted with all staff, and I will be over seeing all food prep and service, and I will make sure no allergies come in view of both your females. Thank you and you as well ”  Alpha Andrew “”  That is a first alpha Andrew smiled back, man today is just weird. My 18th birthday is Saturday and I can’t wait; one last party and I am out of here finally.

The omega staff was amazing, and always sweet with Kailey, not one omega looked down on her and respected her. She was grateful at least not the whole pack was against her. Omega Janna stopped by and started a load for Gamma Bryan family. Janna “Everything okay? You seem more down today then others?” Kailey “I’m okay, just can’t wait for my wolf to come forward and see what she looks like.” Janna “Totally it is nerve racking but whole heartedly know your wolf is there for you when no one else your wolf will never turn her back on you.” Kailey “Thanks Janna.” 

Aaron: What do we have here, two she wolfs who need me now.” Forcing Kailey’s arm to wrap around his waist. Uncomfortable Kailey pleaded to Janna to help, but Janna backed away and was out of the room.  Kailey out of fear twist herself out of Aarons arms. Kailey “Aaron will you knock it off, I don’t want you. Nor would I ever f**k you.” Not knowing where the outburst come from, she knew to be ready for the pain. Aaron wasn’t one who would knock her out completely but he would do some damage. Aaron “You b***h, you don’t talk that way to a gammas son. I should bust your ass for that, but you are lucky, I have other things to do today.” Like that Aaron walked by Kailey and punched her straight in the ribs at least cracking one or two. Kailey went down and didn’t move waiting for the punishment to be more, but Aaron walked out the room and left her there. 

Eric was walking back from a training session when he passed the laundry room, he saw Kailey laying down and crying. He went over to her, she covered her head waiting for another blow. Eric “Kailey it’s Eric, what happened?” Kailey looked up and saw Eric 6’7 lean chiseled chest dark brown hair with just a tinge of gold highlights, the brightest green eyes, and the voice that could soothe an archangel. Realizing her mouth was wide open almost drooling she shut it and snapped her eyes away keeping her mouth shut, she didn’t want any trouble to prevent her from not leaving. Eric knew Kailey wouldn’t tell, he knew the reprimand she would get from her father and even worse beating, Eric picked her up cradled and took her to the medical bay for Dr. Hemal so he could make sure she was really okay. Jackson happened been coming down to see Kailey when he saw Eric with Kailey in his arms cradled like a baby holding her side. Denaryn growled this time loud. Eric “Jackson shut the hell up she’s already been through hell; we don’t know need you scarring her further.” Jackson “Who did this?” Eric “You know Kailey won’t tell us; her father will just punish her further.” Jackson “This is getting ridiculous, what’s going to happen when she becomes alpha, everyone is going to lose their shit.”

 Eric “Jackson you know as well as I alpha Sebastian will never let that happen.” Jackson “I know.” Dr. Hemal “What can I do for you boys today?” That’s when he saw Kailey Dr Hemal “Not again!” Eric “I found her in the laundry room on the floor, holding her side, I’m going to take it she was either beat down or kicked down.” Dr. Hemal “I swear this child takes the hell more and more. Lay her on this bed here and will one of you stay with her, please I’m afraid she won’t be able to take too much more of this.”  Jackson “Eric I’ll stay with her; you go let dad know and get training over with. I’ve got this.” Eric “Are you sure? I can stay here too, she’s my little sister, even if mom and dad didn’t have her as their own.” Jackson “Seriously I can do it; you know dad needed to talk to you anyway about reports and everything.” Eric “Alright, but I won’t take long. Text me if anything changes.”  Jackson “I will. Let’s just hope it isn’t too bad. Whoever did it will have to face us.” Eric “You know it.”

Kailey was wide awake listening to the conversation and was glad the Black boys would always be there; thank you moon goddess for that. Then the pain hit, and a cry escaped her lips, and like that Jackson was over her, his hands moving the hair out of her face, and trying to soothe her, and the sparks started again. Jackson “Kailey what hurts? Talk to me please?” Kailey looked up into Jacksons eyes and he was concerned but also his eyes were black. Kailey “It’s just my side it really hurts.” Jackson “Can you let me see please so I can let Dr. Hemal know, please?” Like that Kailey moved back on the bed fear in her eyes.

Jackson “Kailey I won’t judge you know that.” Knowing his words spoke truth, she moved to raise her shirt. Right there on her side Jackson saw it a massive bruise and a lump on her side, he also noticed every delicious curve he wanted to have his hands and mouth on. His eyes were going black.  Kailey “Jackson, Jackson! Go get Dr. Hemal please.” That snapped him back, damn if it wasn’t for her being hurt, she be claimed as his right here right now. Jackson “Yes sweetie, I’ll be right back.” As if on cue Dr. Hemal walks in. Dr. Hemal “Alright Kailey let’s take a look with this ultra sound and see what’s going on.” Jackson “Dr. Hemal her side is really bruised and there’s a bump.” Dr. Hemal “Thank you Jackson we will figure out what’s going on.” The ultra sound started and Dr. Hemal wasn’t pleased, well Kailey bad news you have internal bleeding and two broken ribs, good news we can get this fixed asap and with your wolf soon to be here you will heal up in no time. Now I am going to ask you, who did this to you? Whoever it was needs to be punished, and I will make sure of it.”

Kailey looked between Jackson and Dr. Hemal and had so much fear she wouldn’t speak. Kailey “I can’t, it was my fault, I out spoke and I shouldn’t have.” Jackson knew that meant she wouldn’t say a word, no matter how bad she was hurt she still wouldn’t give up the perp, now that’s a strong girl.  Dr. Hemal “Fine, I can’t press you, but whoever did this knew that this would happen and still hit you.”  Kailey “I understand.”  Dr. Hemal “Jackson I will have the anesthesiologist in a few minutes and this procedure will take less than an hour.” Jackson “I’ll stay right here and wait for her.” Dr. Hemal “Kailey I am going to give you this shot for pain and it will make you feel like you are high, so please just keep talking to Jackson okay and when the anesthesiologist comes in you will count back from 10 and you’ll be out and back with us within about 1hour possibly 2hours.” Kailey “Yes sir.” 

    Jackson “I’ll be waiting right here for you; I will not leave till you tell me too.” Kailey “Thanks, but don’t you have a girlfriend to get back too.” Jackson “Kimmy? Oh god no! Please wouldn’t touch that with a 10-foot pole.” Giggling Kailey grabbed her side. Kailey “Don’t make me laugh.” Man, this girl was shining so bright why couldn’t anyone else see it. She was amazing and sweet and funny. Jackson “Okay, I am sorry, I don’t want you in anymore pain.” Kailey “Please Jackson, I know that you have other things to do then sit with ugly old me.” Jackson “Kailey Nichole that isn’t true. You are a beauty from an outter world, every man should be falling at your feet.” That set the giggle fit again.

Anesthesiologist came in and administered the sleepy meds, and within three minutes Kailey was out like a light. Jackson couldn’t resist he had to, he kissed her right on the lips light soft, the sparks were flying so strong. He stepped back just starring down at the beauty in his sight and vowed with Denaryn anyone touches her again we rip them apart. Looking down at Kailey she was smiling, that is one smile he wanted to stay forever. Jackson waited what seem like hours and Kailey was finally being rolled back in. Dr. Hemal came in to give him the update he is be waiting for. Dr. Hemal “So we went in and stopped the bleeding and repaired what we could surgically, and as long as her wolf comes in, she will be fully healed quickly, if her wolf doesn’t come then she is in for at least 2-3-month recovery time, so no heavy lifting, no bending. She will be on bed rest for the time being.” Jackson “It was that bad damage? I am not leaving her side; she needs to heal.” Dr. Hemal  “She will be staying here at least for 24hours for me to watch over her, but after that she will need to go with someone who can make sure she is staying off her feet totally until she is healed, Like I said if her wolf comes in then this will be healed by Sunday, but if it doesn’t she will need to be on complete bed rest.” Jackson “She will go home with me and stay at my place, once you have released her.” Dr. Hemal “Good. I have a few other patients, so I will leave her here in your capable hands.”

Jackson just looked back at Kailey and couldn’t resist climbing in bed with her, being gentle as possible and wrapping himself around her, not ever wanting to let go. Kailey started to slightly move coming out of the anesthesia but she quickly quieted down and was asleep.

Slowly waking I feel a warm embrace, not knowing who it was she panicked and started to move but with all the meds it was futile, once she got a whiff of the scent she instantly calmed down it was Jackson he had this forest rain and beach sand scent and I was calm. He didn’t need to do this but I wasn’t going to fight it if he was. Samantha “He is hot, isn’t he?” That voice about made me jump awake but realizing it was just my wolf I settled my blood pressure. Kailey “Yes he is, and who are you?” Samantha “I am Samantha your wolf.” Kailey “You decide know to start talking to me? Yes, Jacksons hot but he isn’t mine, he already has a girlfriend we are nowhere near his type.” Samantha “I came forward as mother goddess planned. We are a team Kailey and I’ll never leave you. If you only knew the plans mother goddess had in store for us, you would flip.” Kailey “Well tell me, what plans? because as far as I am concerned, we are leaving this pack Saturday no matter what.” Samantha “What? No, you can’t we belong here this is our pack.” Kailey “Well Sam newsflash they don’t want me here nor want a female alpha so once Saturday comes, we are out.”  Samantha “What if we find our mate then what?” Kailey “We will be rejected anyway; we aren’t some pretty she wolf. We have major fat all over our body and let’s face it wolves want beautiful girls not ugly ones.” Sam “Will you stop that; our mate will see past all of that and see the beauty in us and will love us no matter what.” Kailey “Okay Sam, I am going to sleep now I need to recover from getting hit earlier.” Sam “Already done, I’m here now so your wolf abilities have already healed you.” Kailey “Seriously that quickly, dang you do come in handy lol. I’m still taking a nap; I don’t really want Jackson to move.”  Sam “Get some good sleep Kailey, good things are coming our way just wait.”  Like that everything was quiet and Kailey fell into a deep sleep, not waking up till the next morning.  

Realizing Jackson had moved she popped awake looking around and found no one in her room. The worst fears started running through her mind, and her heart started to race, and then it was like she couldn’t breathe. Within minutes she heard the bathroom door open, and started to relax Jackson just needed to relieve himself.

Jackson “Kailey you alright? You look really pale, do I need to get Dr. Hemal?” Kailey “Realizing she was still in a panic she just shook her head.” Jackson “Alright, just calm down everything’s okay.” Taking his spot next to the bed in a chair, all Kailey wanted was for him to be next to her in the bed, he calmed everything in her in all honestly all the beta boys did, their dad raised them right and always were around.

Jackson “Kailey? Kailey? What’s going on that head of yours?”  Coming back to reality Kailey was staring right into Jacksons eyes, and the most beautiful smile on his lips.

       Jackson “Kailey?” Kailey “Yes, Jackson I’m fine, just thinking.” Jackson “I see that, but about what?”

To be honest if she told him he would reject her anyway, at least in her head that’s what she thinks would happen.

Kailey “It’s just I have to get everything taken care of for the Alpha meeting that’s happening in 4 days now since I’ve been held up here.” Jackson looking a little a miss of how this girl could just jump back in to normal routine, couldn’t she see and feel what he did. Jackson “I know, Mrs. Bailey has kept up everything, and it’s on track. You know Mrs. Bailey can handle it and you rest.” Kailey “No I have to handle this, if my dad found out I didn’t, then I’ll lose everything, I got to go.” Trying to get up Jackson was right there and pend her back down the shooting sparks coming back through harder faster, and Kailey about flew back in the bed, Jacksons eyes went black, Denaryn “Mate!”  Kailey backed ad far as she could up from the bed but Jackson had a grip on her waist. 

        Denaryn “Mate, don’t be scared.” Jackson looking through saw Kailey was freaked out, while she was raised around wolves seeing one take over or even seeing a wolf in person was a little bit of adjustment. Jackson “Let me back out, she’s scared back off, she isn’t use to this.” Denaryn “She’s our mate mother goddess chose her for us.” Jackson “I know that, you know that but she doesn’t trust wolves remember, her father our Alpha.” Denaryn “Fine.” Denaryn whimpered and let Jackson back, but it was to late Kailey was so scared her heartbeat and blood pressure were through the roof, Dr. Hemal came in Kailey what’s wrong? Oh, Jackson um I will leave you two mates at it, just call if anything is wrong.” As quickly as Dr. Hemal came in he was back out. “Mate he can’t be our mate Sam, we are leaving on Saturday, this can’t be happening.” “Kailey this our mate but he isn’t our first mate.” “Wait, what he’s not our first mate, what the hell does that mean?” “Well mother goddess has a plan for us and you just have to trust her.”