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I didn't even know what to say. So I just blinked at him. How had I completely misread his idea for tonight? "What do you usually do on Christmas Eve?"
"The guys do this anti-Christmas thing. It's not important."
He did have a tradition. We were finally getting somewhere. "Rob mentioned that earlier. What is anti-Christmas?"
"It's just what it sounds like. It's the anti-Christmas. It's hanging out with your friends instead of family. Drinking too much to prepare for the horrors of the next day."
The horrors? Of Christmas? Was he insane? Was I engaged to a complete lunatic? I blinked again. "You do hate Christmas," I said.
"I don't hate Christmas."
"Then why have an anti-Christmas on Christmas Eve?"
James shrugged. "You know Mason's relationship with his parents is strained." He didn't offer anything else.
"And yours with your parents," I said softly.
"Yeah."
His favorite memory of Christmas was his father reading to him. And now he hated Christmas because his relationship with his parents wasn't good. I couldn't fix that relationship. They wouldn't even meet me. But I could take his mind off of it. Anti-Christmas seemed like the best way to do that. Besides, he had finally shared a tradition with me. I wanted to experience it with him. "Let's do anti-Christmas."
He laughed. "Penny, we have reservations. Let's get going so that we're not late."
"Screw the reservations. I want in on this tradition."
"Penny, nothing about you is anti-Christmas."
"So teach me," I said.
"As much as I love teaching you lessons, I don't want to teach you not to have Christmas spirit."
"Well good, because you probably can't. But if doing this anti-Christmas thing is what you usually do, I want to do it. To new traditions, right?"
He raised his left eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
***
It turns out, I absolutely wasn't sure. The bar was dimly lit. And they weren't even playing Christmas music. What kind of place didn't play Christmas music on Christmas Eve?
The guy at the door stamped my hand to show that I was underage. Not that I wanted to drink. I wanted to wake up on Christmas morning refreshed and ready to go super early. I was itching to run back out into the chilly winter air. And insist on going ice skating by the Rockefeller tree. Or listen to the carolers we had passed by on the way here. Or drag him to church so we could sing the songs I looked forward to every year.
But I didn't say any of that. For the next hour or so...will it be that long?...I was going to do anti-Christmas. Bah, humbug!
We wound our way through the other patrons until we found his friends at table in the back.
"You came!" Rob shouted. "I told you they'd come. Pay up." He put his hand out.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Mason groaned. "You said you were going out to dinner." He slapped a stack of way too many bills into Rob's hand.
"Yeah, we all thought you were totally whipped," Matt added. He forked over a wad of cash to Rob.
"Do you guys make bets on our relationship?" I asked.
"Usually only how long it'll last," Mason said with a laugh.
I knew he was joking. Right? I liked James' friends. But Mason still kinda gave me the creeps. He always had a look in his eyes like he was judging me. Or my body. Or something. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But just like with Rob, I was getting used to him. And Matt was always nice to me.
I sat down in the stool that James pulled out for me and let him take my coat.
"Ow, ow!" Rob yelled. "You really dressed up for us."
"For him," I said and pointed over my shoulder where James was hanging up our jackets.
"Sure," Rob whispered and leaned forward slightly. "I told the guys we're all getting lucky tonight because you're handing out blowjobs for Christmas."
What. The. Actual. f**k. Why was he hell-bent on embarrassing me all the time? "Rob, for the millionth time, I am not putting my mouth anywhere near your penis."
"Well, that's good to hear," James said with a laugh as he sat down next to me. "Do you guys want another round?"
"Absolutely," Mason said. "Let me help you grab it. What'll you have, Penny?"
"Ginger Ale if they have it." My stomach suddenly felt upset. I needed carols. And snow. And to watch The Grinch, not be sitting with four of them.
When they came back with the drinks I took a sip and set it down. "Okay. So now what? Do we all talk about how much we hate Christmas?"
"No." Matt threw his hands over his ears. "We don't mention that word at all."
"Rob just said it a few minutes ago when he mentioned blowjobs."
"Blowjobs?" Rob said with a smile. "Who said anything about blowjobs? Are you suggesting something, Penny?"
I rolled my eyes. "So we just sit here and don't talk about tomorrow at all? So it's just like a normal day?"
"Exactly," Mason said. "A normal day where it's totally fine to be fighting with your parents and not be in a relationship."
"Okay, someone's had too much to drink," Matt said and pulled away Mason's whiskey glass. "Did you seriously just imply that you wish you were dating someone?"
Mason looked at me and James and then grabbed his glass back. "No."
Yes, maybe it was unnerving that it always seemed like Mason was assessing me. But he was sad that he was going to be alone on Christmas. And that broke my heart. He was lonely. Is that why they were all here? Because they were single on Christmas Eve?
"I have an idea," I said. "And please forgive me in advance because I'm about to say Christmas a bunch of times."
Matt groaned.
I looked over at James and he was smiling at me.
I turned back to the group. "I think you guys should let me hijack anti-Christmas. And show you what Christmas Eve is supposed to be like. Because this," I said and gestured to the sad bar, "is not what Christmas is all about. The only thing you've got right is that we're all together. So let's stop getting drunk and go have fun out there."
No one said anything.
"It's Christmas Eve, guys. It only comes around once a year. We can do this the day after Christmas. Please. I promise it'll be fun." I glanced back at James.
"I'll get our coats," he said. "You guys in?"
"Fine," Mason said. "But I'm not singing."
Matt pushed back his stool. "Ditto."
Rob downed the rest of his drink. "Let's Christmas Eve the s**t out of everything."
"That's the spirit," I said. I guess.
***
- Writer
