THE BURDEN
873 Words
The days after the filing blurred together.
Vanessa stopped counting. She woke, she moved through the house, she went to bed. The hours had no shape. The rooms had no warmth.
She hadn't told Adrian about Nina. Not yet. The truth sat in her chest like a stone, heavy and sharp. Every time she looked at him — across the kitchen, in the hallway, passing each other like ghosts — she felt it press against her ribs.
Tell him. Tell him who she really is.
But she didn't.
Because telling him would mean admitting she had known. It would mean explaining Frank, the investigation, the years of silence between her and her sister. It would mean unraveling her own lies.
And she wasn't ready for that.
---
She started spending more time at Derek's apartment.
Not every night. Not in the way she used to. But she needed somewhere to go. Somewhere the walls didn't remind her of Nina's perfume.
Derek didn't ask questions. He just let her in.
"You don't have to talk," he said once.
"Good. Because I don't have words."
They sat on his couch, not touching, both staring at the television without seeing it.
"Derek," she said.
"Yeah."
"Do you ever think about telling Adrian? About us?"
He was quiet for a long moment. "Every day."
"Why don't you?"
He turned to look at her. "Because I'm a coward."
She laughed — a dry, hollow sound. "So am I."
---
Nina noticed the change in Adrian.
He was quieter now. More present, but also more distant. He held her like he was afraid she would disappear. He said I love you like a question.
"What's wrong?" she asked one night.
They were in her apartment. The city was dark. He was sitting on her couch, staring at nothing.
"Nothing."
"Adrian."
He looked at her. "I filed for divorce. I told Vanessa about you. And I feel like I should be relieved. But I'm not."
"What do you feel?"
"Empty."
She sat beside him. Took his hand.
"It will pass," she said.
"Will it?"
"It has to."
He pulled her close. She rested her head on his shoulder.
If you knew the truth, she thought, you wouldn't be holding me like this.
She didn't say it. She never did.
---
Vanessa called her mother's number one afternoon.
The line was disconnected. Of course it was. Mei-Lin had been dead for three years. But Vanessa needed to hear her voice — the recording, the old message, anything.
"You've reached Mei-Lin. Leave a message."
Vanessa listened to the recording three times. Her mother's voice, frozen in time.
"Mom," she said. "It's Vanessa. I know you're not there. I know you probably wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. But I need to tell you something."
She paused.
"Nina came back. She's been here for months. She took a job at Adrian's company. She's been sleeping with him." Her voice cracked. "She's destroying my marriage, Mom. And I don't know if I deserve better. I don't know if I deserve anything."
The machine beeped. The message ended.
Vanessa set down the phone and stared at the wall.
---
Derek ran into Nina at a coffee shop.
It was an accident. He was picking up a latte. She was at the counter, waiting for her order. Their eyes met.
"Nina," he said.
"Derek."
They stood there, strangers who knew too much about each other.
"How are you?" he asked.
"Fine. You?"
"Fine."
The barista called his name. He took his coffee. Didn't leave.
"Nina," he said quietly. "Be careful."
Her face tightened. "What do you mean?"
"With Adrian. With all of this." He glanced around, lowered his voice. "Vanessa knows. About you and him."
Nina's blood went cold. "What?"
"She knows. I don't know how. But she knows."
Nina gripped her coffee cup. "Does she know who I am?"
Derek hesitated. "I don't think so. Not yet."
Nina nodded slowly. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Just —" He stopped. Shook his head. "Just be careful."
He walked away.
Nina stood at the counter, her hands shaking.
Vanessa knows about the affair. But she doesn't know I'm her sister. Not yet.
She had time. Maybe.
---
That night, Nina didn't tell Adrian about Derek's warning.
She lay beside him in her narrow bed, watching him sleep. His face was soft, unguarded. He looked younger. He looked like someone she could love for the rest of her life.
If he knew the truth, he would hate me.
She reached out and touched his cheek. He stirred but didn't wake.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry for all of it."
The room was dark. The city was quiet.
She didn't sleep.
---
Vanessa sat in her car outside Nina's apartment building.
She had driven there without thinking. The lights were on in Nina's window. She could see shadows moving — two figures, close together.
Adrian is up there. In her bed. In her arms.
She gripped the steering wheel.
I could go up there. I could knock on the door. I could tell him everything.
But she didn't move.
She sat in the dark, watching the shadows, until the lights went out.
Then she drove home.
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