“No!” He slammed his fist into the doorframe. “I’m not talking about your body. Why weren’t you in my head?”
I couldn’t speak. I put my head down on my knees, trembling and wishing I could disappear.
“You left me alone out there in the dark and in the cold with our dead f*****g child. You didn’t feel the bitter wind slicing through my hands as they went numb and could barely hold the goddamn shovel! Do you know what it feels like to cry with the wind and snow battering your face? It feels as though your eyes will freeze and turn to glass just before they finally shatter into a million pieces. I could barely see what I was doing and I was terrified that I might lose him in the drifts. I was utterly terrified that I might slip and hit him with the shovel and have to find a way to tell you
