Saturday
2000 Words
Amara woke up before her alarm.
For a few seconds, she lay still, staring at the ceiling. Then she remembered.
Saturday.
She was going to meet Kieran Hawthorne's daughters.
The thought made her sit up. She looked at the clock beside her bed. It was barely past six.
"Why am I awake this early?"
She pushed the blanket aside and got out of bed.
As she walked towards the bathroom, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired. She had spent most of the previous night thinking about Kieran.
Not about him as a man.
At least, that was what she kept telling herself.
She had been thinking about the arrangement, the rules they had discussed, and the two little girls she was about to meet.
She had wanted a child for so long, but she had never imagined that her path to motherhood might begin with someone else's children.
She wasn't sure whether that frightened her or excited her.
She got ready and chose a simple dress. She wanted to look presentable without looking as though she had spent hours trying to impress anyone.
When she finished, she looked at herself again.
"You're only meeting children," she whispered.
It sounded convincing.
Almost.
By the time Amara came out of her room, her mother was already in the kitchen preparing breakfast.
"You're awake early."
"I have somewhere to go."
Her mother paused.
"Today?"
"Yes."
"Where?"
Amara reached for a cup of water.
"I'm meeting someone."
Her mother looked at her carefully.
"The man you've been talking to?"
Amara nodded.
"Yes."
Her mother's expression changed.
"Is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine."
"Then why do you look nervous?"
Amara laughed softly.
"Do I?"
"You're my daughter. I know when you're nervous."
Her mother smiled.
"So, tell me. What is he like?"
Amara hesitated. She and Kieran had agreed that their arrangement was private, but her mother was still her mother.
"He was married before."
Her mother's smile faded slightly.
"Married?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"It ended."
Her mother nodded.
"Does he have children?"
"Yes."
"How many?"
"Two daughters. They're twins."
Her mother stared at her.
"Twins?"
Amara nodded.
"I didn't know you were considering a man with children."
"I'm not sure if I'm considering anything yet."
Her mother sat down.
"Well, children are children."
Amara smiled.
"I know."
"And you like children."
"Very much."
Her mother gave her a knowing look.
"I know that too."
She reached across the table and touched Amara's hand.
"Just be careful."
"I will."
"Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to accept something because you're thirty four."
Amara lowered her eyes.
Her mother continued softly.
"Marriage is important. Children are important. But you are important too."
Amara swallowed.
"Thank you."
"If he is a good man and he respects you, take your time and see where it goes."
Amara nodded.
She didn't tell her mother about the agreement. She didn't tell her that love wasn't part of it.
Those things could wait.
"Eat something before you go."
"I will."
"And don't come back too late."
"I won't."
Her mother called after her as she stood.
"Amara."
She turned.
"Be yourself."
Amara smiled.
"I will."
But as she walked back to her room, she wondered whether being herself would be enough.
Kieran's house was already awake by the time Amara's taxi stopped outside.
She paid the driver and stepped out.
For a moment, she stood looking at the large house.
She had seen it from a distance before, but seeing it up close reminded her just how different Kieran's life was from hers.
Everything looked neat, quiet and expensive, but not showy.
She adjusted the strap of her handbag and walked towards the entrance.
Before she could knock, a member of the household staff opened the door.
"Good morning, ma'am."
"Good morning."
She stepped inside.
The house was quiet.
Then she heard laughter.
A child's laughter.
Her nervousness returned.
The staff member led her inside.
Kieran was waiting.
He wore a simple white shirt and dark trousers. He looked almost exactly as he had the day before.
Serious.
Calm.
Controlled.
"Good morning," he said.
"Good morning."
His eyes moved briefly towards the clock.
"You came on time."
"I try to."
Before either of them could say anything else, two little girls appeared from behind him.
Amara's eyes softened immediately.
The girls were identical. Same dark hair, same bright eyes and almost the same curious expression.
Kieran turned towards them.
"Lily. Lucy."
The girls stepped forward.
Amara smiled.
"Hello."
"Hello," Lily said.
Lucy remained slightly behind her sister.
Amara didn't force her to come closer.
"I'm Amara."
"We know," Lily replied.
Amara glanced at Kieran.
"Your father told you about me?"
Lily nodded.
Lucy finally stepped forward.
"I'm Lucy."
"And I'm Lily."
Amara smiled.
"It's nice to meet you both."
Lucy looked at her dress.
"You're pretty."
Lily immediately looked at her sister.
"That's not what you're supposed to say first."
"What am I supposed to say?"
"I don't know."
Amara laughed.
Kieran watched the exchange.
There was something natural about her with the girls.
"Come in," he said.
Amara stepped further inside.
The twins' room was one of the few places in the house where colour seemed to exist everywhere.
Their toys were arranged in baskets. Books filled the shelf, and drawings covered part of the wall.
Two beds stood on opposite sides of the room.
Amara looked around.
"This is beautiful."
"I drew that," Lily said.
She pointed at a picture.
Amara walked closer.
"You did?"
Lily nodded proudly.
"What is it?"
"Our family."
Amara looked at the drawing.
There were three figures.
Kieran.
Lily.
Lucy.
She smiled.
"You drew your daddy very tall."
"Because he is tall."
Lucy pointed at the drawing.
"And you forgot his hair."
Lily frowned.
"He has hair."
"You didn't draw it."
"I forgot."
Amara laughed.
Kieran stood at the doorway.
He found himself smiling.
Amara noticed.
Their eyes met for a second.
Then Lily pulled Amara towards the bookshelf.
"Read this."
Amara sat on the floor.
"Okay."
The girls settled beside her.
Kieran remained standing.
Amara opened the book and began reading.
Her voice was soft and patient.
The girls listened closely.
When the story ended, Lucy immediately asked for another.
Amara laughed.
"Another one?"
"Yes."
"Don't you have school?"
"It's Saturday."
"That's true."
Lily looked at her.
"Do you teach on Monday?"
"Yes."
"What do you teach?"
"Grade One and Two."
The girls exchanged a look.
"Really?"
Amara nodded.
"We're six."
"I know."
"We're in the same class."
"I know."
Lucy looked at Kieran.
"Can she teach us?"
Kieran's expression remained calm.
"She already knows how to teach."
"Then she can teach us."
Amara smiled.
"We'll see."
Lily frowned.
"Everybody says we'll see."
Kieran sighed.
"Because you ask too many questions."
Lunch was quieter than Kieran expected.
At one point, Lucy dropped her spoon.
Amara picked it up.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Lily looked at Amara.
"Do you cook?"
Amara smiled.
"Yes."
"What do you cook?"
"A little bit of everything."
"Can you make pancakes?"
"Yes."
Lucy's eyes widened.
"I love pancakes."
"Me too."
Kieran looked at his daughters.
"We have pancakes every Saturday."
Amara looked at him.
"Then I suppose I'm already late."
It was a simple joke.
But Kieran smiled.
"Apparently."
Their eyes met for a second.
Then both looked away.
After lunch, the girls took Amara outside.
Kieran followed.
They sat in the garden while the twins played.
Amara watched them run around.
"They're lovely."
"They can be difficult."
She smiled.
"They're children."
"That doesn't make it easier."
She laughed.
Kieran looked at her.
"Do you always defend children?"
"Almost always."
"Even when they're wrong?"
"Especially when they're wrong."
He shook his head.
"That explains a lot."
"What?"
"You teach young children. You have too much patience."
Amara smiled.
"Maybe."
I think they just need someone who will listen to them."
Kieran looked at her.
"They have people."
"I know."
"Then what do you mean?"
Amara hesitated.
"Sometimes children can have people around them and still feel alone."
He stared at her.
She looked down.
"I've seen it with my pupils."
Something about her answer stayed with him.
Before he could respond, Lucy came running towards them.
"Amara!"
Amara turned.
"Yes?"
"Come and play."
Amara stood immediately.
"Okay."
Kieran watched her walk away.
He didn't know what to make of her.
She wasn't what he had expected.
That was becoming a problem.
By late afternoon, Amara was preparing to leave.
The girls followed her to the entrance.
Lucy held her hand.
"Are you coming again?"
Amara smiled.
"I don't know."
Lily frowned.
"Why?"
"Because your father and I still have things to discuss."
Lucy turned towards Kieran.
"Daddy."
"What?"
"Tell her to come."
Kieran looked at Amara. She was trying not to laugh.
"That's not how this works."
"Why?"
"Because adults have to make decisions."
Lucy folded her arms.
"I think you should decide quickly."
Amara laughed.
Kieran shook his head.
"You two are becoming too involved."
Lily looked up at him.
"We like her."
Kieran went quiet.
The words were simple, but they carried more weight than the girls understood.
He looked at Amara.
She seemed touched.
"Thank you," she said softly.
Lucy hugged her.
Amara froze for a moment, then bent down and hugged her back.
Lily joined them.
Kieran stood a few feet away.
He watched his daughters cling to a woman they had met only hours ago.
Something uncomfortable moved through his chest.
It was too close to hope.
And hope was exactly what he had promised himself he wouldn't allow.
Amara eventually stepped away.
"I should go."
"Come again," Lucy said.
"I'll try."
"You have to."
Amara smiled.
"I'll see what I can do."
She looked at Kieran.
"Thank you for today."
"Thank you for coming."
She nodded and stepped outside.
The girls waved until she reached the waiting taxi.
Amara turned once and waved back before getting inside.
The taxi pulled away.
Kieran remained at the door until it disappeared.
Only then did he close it.
Lily looked up at him.
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Do you like Amara?"
Kieran looked down at her.
"That's a strange question."
"Answer it."
He almost smiled.
"She's a nice woman."
Lucy shook her head.
"That's not what she asked."
Kieran looked at both girls.
"Go upstairs."
They laughed.
"You didn't answer!"
"Upstairs."
They ran away.
Kieran stood alone in the hallway.
His house suddenly felt quiet again.
Too quiet.
He had invited Amara because he wanted to know whether she could fit into his children's lives.
After one afternoon, he had his answer.
She could.
The more difficult question was whether he wanted her to.
And that was something he wasn't ready to answer.
The taxi dropped Amara near her family's house as evening approached.
She thanked the driver and walked inside.
Her mother looked up immediately.
"You're back."
"Yes."
"How was it?"
Amara smiled.
"It was fine."
Her mother studied her face.
"Only fine?"
Amara took off her shoes.
"They're lovely girls."
"Then you like them?"
Amara smiled.
"I do."
Her mother nodded.
"That's good."
Amara walked towards her room.
She stopped briefly.
"Goodnight, Mum."
"It's still early."
"I know. I'm tired."
Her mother smiled.
"Go and rest."
Amara entered her room and closed the door.
She sat on her bed.
For a while, she simply stared at the wall.
Then she smiled.
She remembered Lily's serious face, Lucy's endless questions and the way they had both hugged her before she left.
She had wanted a child for years.
But perhaps she had been wrong about one thing.
Maybe motherhood didn't always begin with giving birth.
Maybe sometimes it began with a child reaching for your hand.
Amara quickly pushed the thought away.
She wasn't their mother.
Not yet.
Maybe never, but she will put her heart into caring for them the way she knows.
She had to remember why she was doing this.
At least, that was what she still believed.
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