Pitch black. That’s what I woke up to, my heart slamming against my ribs. For a second I honestly thought I was back at the Chen house, trapped in that little storage room with its stale air and walls that felt like they were closing in. Then it hit me, the mansion. The job. My new room.
I groped for my phone on the nightstand. 3:17 AM. The screen’s glow burned my eyes. I was about to drop it back down when I heard it.
A moan. A woman. Loud. Way too loud for these walls, walls that looked like they were built to keep everything private.
“Oh god! Yes!”
I froze, my breath stuck somewhere in my chest.
Another sound. Louder. It didn’t sound real too dramatic, too practiced. Like the kind of moaning meant for show, not for someone actually losing themselves. I knew that sound. I’d heard it through the walls of Mateo’s bedroom. I’d heard it on the phone that night everything shattered.
But this wasn’t my husband.
This was my boss.
“f**k! Right there! Kai!”
She screamed his name like she was praying to him, like he was doing something holy.
My stomach twisted. I should shove earbuds in. Pull a pillow over my head. Do literally anything but lie here listening to my boss screw some woman a few doors down.
But I didn’t move.
A low male grunt followed, deep, raw. It made something tighten low in my stomach. Then came the rhythm of a headboard slamming into a wall. Hard. Over and over.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Each hit seemed to echo through the mansion, through me.
“Yes! God, yes! Don’t stop!”
Her voice rose higher, desperate now. And I could see it in my head without even trying, her on her back, bent over, riding him, him over her, taking whatever he wanted.
And my body… betrayed me.
Heat built between my thighs, shameful and unstoppable. My n*****s ached under my thin sleep shirt. My breathing picked up.
Stop, I told myself. This is wrong. Stop.
But I’d been starving for years. Three years of Mateo’s rejection. Three years of watching him give other women what he refused to give me. Three years of my body going untouched, unloved, unfelt.
And now, in the dark, with my boss a few doors away, my body didn’t care about right or wrong or professionalism.
I pressed my thighs together. Covered my ears with my hands.
Didn’t help. The sounds still came, soft but steady, a reminder of what I didn’t have. What I’d probably never have again.
The moaning kept going. Up and down. Like a tide. Different positions. Different rhythms. The kind of session that left you wrung out and boneless after.
I’d never had that. Not with Mateo, who treated s*x like a chore and was done in five minutes. Not with my high school crush, Danny whatever, who fumbled through my first time in the back of his car at nineteen.
That had been my “first time.” Quick. Awkward. Painful. I’d bled and spent the next week panicking I was pregnant, too embarrassed to buy Plan B, convinced my life was over.
Didn’t get pregnant. Still don’t know if Danny was sterile or if I just got lucky. Either way, the whole thing had been underwhelming.
So yeah, my s****l history was one long string of mediocrity. And now I was listening to someone else being absolutely destroyed in the best possible way.
Time warped. An hour. Maybe more. I only knew the sounds wouldn’t stop.
At some point my hand drifted under my sleep shorts without me even realizing. My fingers pressed against my underwear, dampness there, proof of my body’s betrayal.
Don’t. Don’t you dare.
But God, I was desperate. Empty. And the sounds, Jesus, the sounds were doing something to me I couldn’t fight.
I touched myself through the fabric, hating every second. Hating how good it felt. Hating how much I needed it. Hating how pathetic it was, getting turned on by my boss with someone else.
The woman’s moans built again. “I’m going to, oh f**k, Kai!”
I bit down on my lip to keep quiet as my fingers moved faster. Shame and need twisting together in my chest. This was wrong. So wrong.
But I couldn’t stop.
When it hit, it was quiet. Just a shudder, a muffled gasp, a rush of relief more than anything like pleasure. Her scream hit almost at the same time, echoing through the hall.
And then silence.
I lay there, my hand still between my legs, tears sliding out of the corners of my eyes.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I’d just gotten off listening to my boss screw someone else. Gotten off on sounds that weren’t meant for me. On a fantasy about a man I hadn’t even met yet.
I was disgusting. Pathetic. No better than those women at the interview who’d just wanted Kai Rylan’s bed.
Except I didn’t want to f**k him. I just… I just wanted to be touched. Wanted. Desired. I wanted someone to look at me the way Kai probably looked at whoever was in his bed. Like I was worth it.
I cleaned up in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, not looking in the mirror. I couldn’t stand to see myself right then.
Back in bed, I yanked the covers up to my chin and stared at the ceiling until the sky started to lighten.
I didn’t sleep again. Couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard those sounds. Felt the echo of my own pathetic release. Remembered I was twenty-five and had never, not once, experienced what that woman clearly had tonight.
By the time my alarm went off at six, I was wrung out, ashamed, and more confused about myself than I’d been in years.
Day two of my “new life,” and I’d already proven to myself that I was exactly as pathetic as everyone always said.
The kitchen was buzzing when I dragged myself downstairs. Chef Antoine barking orders at two assistants I didn’t know. Mrs. Carmen talking with Thomas. Sofia setting up a breakfast tray.
She spotted me and grinned, all teeth. “Heard them, didn’t you?”
My face burned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh please. Master Kai’s bedroom is like three doors down from yours. The whole wing probably heard.” She didn’t look fazed, just amused. “He does that a lot. Different woman every night, practically. Sometimes the same one for a few days if she’s particularly good, but usually…” She flicked her hand. “One and done.”
I stared hard at the coffee I was pouring. “That’s really none of my business.”
“It’s not,” Sofia said cheerfully. “But you’re going to hear it a lot, so you might as well get used to it. Unless you want to invest in really good earplugs.”
Lucia appeared like she’d been waiting for her cue. Her eyes swept over me, rumpled clothes, dark circles, and she smiled sweetly.
“Rough night?” she asked. “Master Kai keep you up?”
“I slept fine,” I lied.
“Sure you did.” Her smile sharpened. “Get used to it, new girl. He has a healthy appetite. Though maybe you’ll get a turn if you beg nicely enough.”
“I’m just here to work,” I said, my voice tight.
“That’s what they all say.” Lucia leaned on the counter, admiring her perfect nails. “But then they hear him with other women, and suddenly they’re doing everything they can to get his attention. It’s pathetic.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not pathetic,” I said, meeting her stare.
Something flickered in her eyes, surprise maybe, or annoyance that I pushed back. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”
She sauntered off. Sofia rolled her eyes. “Ignore her. She’s just bitter because Master Kai has literally never looked at her twice despite all her efforts.”
“Good to know,” I muttered.
Mrs. Carmen appeared beside me, her voice gentle but firm. “Master Kai wants to meet you this morning. Nine o’clock. His office.”
My stomach dropped. “Oh. Okay.”
“Don’t be nervous,” she said kindly. “Just be yourself. Answer honestly. And whatever you do, don’t try to flirt with him.”
“I wouldn’t,”
“I know, dear. But I felt I should say it anyway.” She patted my arm. “You’ll do fine.”
I wasn’t so sure.
The next two hours were a blur of nerves. Helping Sofia with small chores, trying and failing to eat, checking my reflection in every shiny surface.
By 8:55 I was outside Kai Rylan’s office, my heart pounding like it wanted out.
This was it. The moment I’d been dreading and anticipating all at once.
I was about to meet the man who held my future in his hands.
The man whose s*x sounds had kept me awake and made me come like some desperate voyeur.
I wanted to die.
Exactly at nine I raised my hand and knocked on the heavy wooden door.
“Come in.”
The voice was deep. Rough. A voice that didn’t need to try to command attention.
I turned the handle. Stepped inside.
And froze.