Called by the Goddess

Chapter 11: Trying to wrap my head around what happened

So that is what was off. The sun was in a different position in the sky than I had expected it to be. “Weird, it felt like I only sat there for no more than 15 minutes, how can this be? Where did the time go?” I just could not really wrap my head around it. I was still feeling very lightheaded, which did not help much either.

“Here, sit down and eat this, that would make you feel better”. I took the huge sandwich from her and bit into it without really looking. I was starving… “Oh yum”, I said when the taste of chicken and avocado reached my taste buds. “This is heavenly!”

Granny chuckled. “You always had a good appetite, and after an experience like you just had, your sense of taste and smell can be heightened”.

I put the last piece of chicken that had fallen out of the sandwich into the paper wrap and put it in my mouth, licking my fingers clean. I looked up at Granny, hoping she had another yummy surprise for me.

Granny smiled, reaching into her bag. “Here you go, with much love from your dad. Bob came by yesterday evening and brought it over, when you already were sleeping”

“Oh, I'm sorry that I missed mr. Winger, I would have loved to say hi!” I said, at the same time I could not help but licking my lips in anticipation. If it is something with love from her dad, that it must be yummy and probably even her favorite.

“Yes!” when Granny opened the air tight container it had been in, the air smelled of double chocolate and salted caramel cake, her absolute favorite!!

“Bless you dad!” I thought to myself, after I had taken my first heavenly bite. “You are welcome my love, glad you enjoy it!”

“Woah, did I just mindlink to you, I didn’t intentionally, hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

“That’s ok and yeah, you did, although it feels different, more subtle than usually, so I wasn’t caught off guard. I am working on decorating cupcakes, so it is quite normal for my to have a slightly dazed expression”

I chuckled as I imagined the look he was describing, I always teased him with it. “Good luck with those cupcakes dad, I miss you!”

“Miss you to, my little cupcake”

I looked up to see Granny look at me intently. “Was that your dad I sensed you communicating with?” she asked with a little frown.

“Yeah, suddenly he was just there in my head, I did not really mean to, but the taste of his cake made me think of him and that seemed to have made me reach out to him. Luckily he was in the middle of decorating loads of cupcakes, so he already had a dazed expression on his face anyway”

I suddenly came crashing down from the high I felt after connecting with my dad… I felt like I was going to break. “What is happening to me Granny? And why do I feel so weird right now? And what happened with the time, for me it felt like just 15 minutes or so… and why do you look so worried?” I rubbed away the tear that had escaped from my eye.

“I will answer all those questions for you, my dear”, Granny said with a reassuring smile. “But first, you tell me what happened.”

“I reached for the connection with the stone, like you said. And then I felt a rush of energy entering me and I felt like I was in kind of a bubble and that I drifted off somehow, like I dissolved and merged with that energy. I heard a voice, I thought it was the stone talking to me, but then the voice told me that she was the Goddess and I started doubting myself, like, thinking I was making this all up or something and my eyes flew open and I saw you rushing towards me and everything went kind of dark” I summed things up. “And now I still feel like I am not really here, like a part of me is floating out there somewhere. I feel exhausted and I am afraid. I am not sure if I want all this, if I am fit to be the chosen one, or if I even want to be...¨ and with that I really started to cry.

Granny rushed over and hugged me. “There, there, Kate, everything will be ok. You are overwhelmed, no wonder, my sweet child, you carry a burden bigger that most of us can carry, but we are all here to help you!” She let go of me, wiped away my tears and smiled.

First let’s make you feel a little bit more grounded, she said. She rummaged through her bag, taking out a bottle of water. Here, you drink, you probably need to be hydrated.

I took the bottle and took a sip. Oh wow, Granny was right, I only now noticed how thirsty I had been. I drank the whole bottle in one go.

“Better?” Granny asked me. “A little bit” I confessed.

“Ok, now for the grounding part. Relax into the tree. Don’t worry, this oak won’t have the same effect as the Goddess stone.”

“Wait, what did you call that stone, you did not name it before I had my experience right? Because the voice I heard also called it the Goddess stone… so… does that mean that I really heard the voice of the Moon Goddess in my head?” I asked as I felt myself going pale.

“Yes, that stone is called the Goddess Stone, and yes, I only named the stone after your experience. But don’t worry about these things right now, that can wait, first let’s make you feel better. So… focus on the tree, ask the tree to help you ground yourself. Make yourself comfortable and take a deep breath. In through your nose, and real slow, breath out through your mouth, just make a tiny hole so you feel the pressure as you breath out, that should help you calm down a bit”.

She was right, I didn’t know how or why, but I did feel myself relaxing a little bit more. Not much, I still felt like breaking down, but I slowly started to get a grip again.

“Take my hands, Kate, I will help you, together with father Oak”. I did as she asked. Her hands felt nice and warm and I felt a feeling of peace flow from her hands through my whole body.

“Now envision that every bit of you that touches the ground sprouts roots, like the roots of the Oak you are leaning against. Let your roots connect with its roots and feel how you get anchored and replenished by mother earth through these roots.”

I focussed on these feelings. They really seemed to work, I felt relief flood through me.

“Good…” Granny continued. “Now, let go of all your doubts and troubles. Just give them to mother earth to transform”

“Wow, that felt like a burden was lifted”, I said surprised. During my practice sessions with Tara and Jasmin, I never felt anything like this.

Granny smiled. “Good! Do you feel like you are able to walk back home again?”

I scanned myself quickly, and nodded. “Yeah, I should be able to manage”

“Good, let’s go and get you home and in bed. The rest of your schedule for today has been cancelled, I already let Maya know she shouldn’t expect you for training this afternoon”

“Ok”, I replied, not really knowing what else to say. I was still surprised by obligations, schedules and rules not being set in stone, it made me feel uncomfortable.

Granny looked at me sideways. “Kate,” Granny started in a serious tone, “I just put you through an ordeal, I thought you were ready and that it would help you, but I didn’t expect things to unfold this way this quickly. It was too much for you and I apologize for putting you through this. So don’t feel like you are the one failing because you have to take the rest of the day off. High priestesses orders and all that, so just comply and be grateful for it, you’ve earned it!” she smiled.

“Thank you”, I said, feeling exhausted yet again, but relieved at the same time. I longed for my bed and somehow I still felt like crying. So many mixed emotions!

Granny seemed to sense my mood, because she came closer to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. Automatically I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and it felt comforting, walking home this way.

“Off to bed you go my dear, I will wake you for supper!” Granny said when we came home. She did not have to tell me twice. I kicked off my shoes when we entered through the back door, went upstairs and fell right into bed, sleeping before my head touched the pillow.