Called by the Goddess

Chapter 10: The Goddess Stone

“Wow” I said in awe, “breathtaking”! I slowly walked into the clearing in the forest, that was obviously the sacred space. Nobody had taken the time to describe it for me and I was glad, for seeing this without knowing what to expect was an experience that was truly magical.

There was so much to see! First, I saw the huge circle of stones that reminded me of Stonehenge, but the stones were further apart and without the horizontal stones on top, each stone stood on its own, without being connected. At one side of the circle was what looked like a stone altar. I had the feeling that this circle was even bigger than Stonehenge.

To the left of the circle, there was a brook that seemed to have its origin in a small lake, a spring maybe? With a beautiful, huge weeping willow next to it. To the right, there was a mighty oak, whose branches seemed to be glowing with golden sunlight, since the sun just hit the right angle. And behind the oak, I saw a little hill that seemed to have a path that circled around it and the top looked flatter than you would expect.

I felt a surge of power, of energy, coming from everywhere in this place, it was awesome. I never felt anything like this before. I slowly started walking towards the stones, slowly taking everything in. It felt like each stone and each tree here had its own personality and that suddenly felt totally logical to me. I was drawn to one particular stone and after looking at Granny, who gave me an encouraging nod, I continued to walk towards it. I reached out with my hand to touch it and felt like I was energized by this stone. I looked up in awe, it was so big and yet so gentle.

Granny gently took over the bag I carried with the cushions and blankets, I almost forgot that it was hanging over my shoulder, and lay down a cushion and blanket for me at the base of the stone I was touching and another one for her at the altar, which was right in front of ‘my’ stone. She motioned me to sit down and sat down herself facing me.

“Make yourself comfortable, my dear!”, she said. “You are going to meditate here and see what happens”

I immediately felt a rush of insecurity flowing through me. I did not like meditation at all. I could not seem to focus my energy and my mind always got in the way. But my teachers all told me that was perfectly normal in the beginning and that they really knew I had it in me. But for me it felt like a struggle, every time I tried.

I remembered my last meditation lesson that Jasmin gave me about two weeks ago. I got so frustrated that I put up my hands in the air and yelled “ugh, this is stupid, I never will get the hang of this!”

“Don’t worry about it, the Goddess chose you for a reason, you will get the hang of this, I am sure!” Jasmin had tried to reassure her.

“Yeah well, maybe the Goddess chose wrong”, I blurted out. I immediately flushed and hoped the ground would swallow me. “Oh oh, now I’ve done it, blasphemy and all that”. I looked embarrassed down at the ground, until I heard the burst of laughter coming from Jasmin.

I carefully looked up. Maybe I wasn’t in trouble after all… I was still getting used to the differences between the pack, where any sign of disregard for the rules or moral was punished swiftly and severely, and the order, where you were allowed, within reason, to voice your doubts and question how and why things were done.

“Whahaha, you should have seen your face just now!” she hiccuped, still giggling. I could not help but laugh with her, she had an infectious laugh, and I knew she wasn’t trying to make fun of me. And I felt very relieved that I obviously was allowed to speak my mind and voice my doubts.

“Lovely, wonderful Hekate,” she told me after she dried her tears from laughing and had regained her breath. “If only you knew how powerful you are, I could feel it the first time I met you. Now all you have to do is have the patience to learn how you can use that power. And that is a journey that will take you the rest of your life. Even Granny is not done learning yet. Like she always tells us: when I am done learning, it is time to retire!”

She had stopped there for a minute and had walked over to me, putting both her hands on my cheek and looking me lovingly in my eyes. “Believe me, sweet child, you have no idea how amazing you are doing… you are catching on very quickly, considering your age and your history and the fact that this is all new to you.”

Yeah, well, it did not feel that way, and I did not like feeling that I was failing at something. Especially not since I felt I had to prove to everybody (including myself) that I was worthy of being this chosen one.

I looked up at Granny, who was looking at me expectantly, like she just asked me something. “Sorry, I drifted off there, see, I will never be able to meditate properly!” I cried out in frustration.

Granny chuckled and said “My dear, being able to let yourself being taken away like that, unaware of your surroundings, whether it is by your own thought, a book, or other ways of accomplishing that, is one of the goals of meditating”

I studied Granny’s face. Did she just say that to make me feel better? Granny let out a sigh. “Enough with the self doubt Kate. Stop filling in what you think you should experience when meditating, and just start living it and experiencing it. Stop asking so much of yourself, you are only meditating a couple of weeks, you can hardly expect you are having the same experiences as Jasmin, Tara or myself, who have been working at it for decades. You didn’t learn to make those fluffy pancakes in one try, now, did you?”

I thought back to my first ever try of baking pancakes myself and chuckled. “No, they were horrible and tasted awful. I never forget the look on mum’s face when she tried them” I chuckled, feeling a lot better.

“Ok then, make yourself comfy against your rock, and close your eyes. Let my voice guide you and just see what happens.”

I did as she said and closed my eyes.

“Now then, go back to the connection you felt with the stone, when you first saw it. Focus on the feeling, the attraction you felt”

“How did she know I felt that?” I pondered to myself. “Oh yeah, right, she is Granny and knows those things and it was probably kind of obvious”. “Kate, focus, don’t drift away, listen to Granny now!” I tried to calm myself.

“If you drift away”, Granny said right on cue, “just get back to my voice and focus on your breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth, good girl! And then go back and feel the energy of the stone, let the stone speak to you”

“Could stones talk? She probably meant that metaphorically…” my mind drifted off again. “Right, back to the stone Kate” and I focussed my attention on the stone and I suddenly felt the connection with this stone that I felt before. Ok, let’s focus on that feeling.

“Good job, Kate”, I heard the soothing voice of Granny. “Now just keep on focussing on that feeling and see what happens”

I felt a rush of energy surging through me. It was like I was in a bubble of energy and I felt myself fade away, no other way to describe it. I did not know where my body ended and the energy began. But it wasn’t scary or anything, it just felt like drifting away, powerful, yet peaceful.

“I am so happy you finally found me, now let me help you find your power” I heard an ethereal voice inside of my head. “So, stones can really talk?” was the next thing I thought. I heard a slight chuckle inside my head. “Maybe they can, in their own way, but I can certainly speak through stones, especially this one, since it is not called the Goddess stone for nothing”

“What, you are meaning to tell me that you are…?” I couldn’t finish my thought before the answer came. “Yes Hekate, you who are named after the dark side of me and who has been chosen by me, I am the Moon Goddess”

My eyes flew open and I blinked a couple of times. I started to get up, but immediately felt dizzy and had to sit down again.

“Woah Kate, easy my dear, don’t get up to soon”, Granny said, while rushing towards me.

“Amazing how agile she still is at her age”, my mind wondered, before I fainted. I woke up because I felt a splash of cool water in my face.

“Stay down Kate, you will be fine in just a moment, but for now, take your time!” Granny told me. She took off my shoes and put her hands on my feet. I only really noticed the buzzing feeling around my head and upper body, when it started to fade away, as if it flowed down to my feet and into the earth via Granny’s hands.

“There you go! Put your hands, palms down, on the ground as well, and let all the excess energy flow to mother earth.” Granny instructed me.

I tried to do as she said and for a moment it felt like the earth was a big fluffy pillow that supported my body and I could feel myself relax.

“Good girl. Try if you can sit up now, gently!” she said and helped me into a sitting position. “Maybe not lean into the Goddess stone right now” Granny told me when she saw me looking around for support.

Granny helped me put my shoes back. “Ok, now, try if you can stand up. Gently, I will support you. Focus every step on the contact you are making with the earth. Good! … Now, let’s walk to that wonderful oak there, we can rest and talk a bit there. Yeah, there you go, sit against the trunk of the tree, let it support you and help you get back on earth!”

I did as I was told, I sat down, looked around me and something felt off. Then my stomach started to rumble loudly. Granny chuckled. “Your appetite is still good I hear, that is a very good sign. Luckily I brought lunch!”

“Lunch? Did she really say lunch?”

I must have had a very puzzled expression on my face, because Granny smiled at me and said “Yes dear, it is twelve o’ clock, you sat for hours against that stone!”