Virgin And Pregnant

03-You're A Disgrace!!

Anita's POV

We got back from the hospital a while ago

Mama had lunch alone since Colton's not home and she'd rather eat alone than eat with me

I went out to the back to visit Papa

I'm sitting on the grass with my folded crisscross

I tell him everything

Without leaving a single detail out

"That's it Pa" I shrug and smile "That's how my day went"

"Now, I'm gonna go make dinner before I get my head chopped off" I chuckle a bit

"I'll see you Pa" I say getting up "I might come see you this night but if I can't I'll definitely be here early tomorrow"

I walk slowly away from the tree "Bye Pa, I love you"

I press my index and my middle finger to my lips and blow a kiss

Then I turn around and head right for the kitchen door

So, I'm making Roast chicken and vegetables

"Anita" I hear mama yell, she sounds upset

Oh what now?

"Coming Ma" I call as I run towards the living room

"Anita, earlier today I asked you a question" she yells and I suck in a deep, steadying breath

I just nod when she raises her brows

We left the hospital an hour ago and I know for a fact that pregnancy test aren't ready in an hour

Even good, well-facilitated hospitals get them done in hours

How did that crappy place get it out do fast?

And send it over too in just an hour?

"I asked you if you are a virgin, what was your answer?" She yelled and I flinched

The words wouldn't come out, they just wouldn't

"What was your answer goddammit?" She yelled again and I swallow the words stuck in my throat

Take a deep breath and speak, Anita

"Yes, I'm a virgin"

"Did you lie to me?" She yelled again and I just shook my head no

"You f*****g told me you were a virgin. You lied to my f*****g face" she yelled and took a step toward me

So, I took a step back

She tosses a piece of paper my way and I move to catch it

Looking at the words in the paper, my eyes widen

"Care to explain?" I hear mama's harsh voice say

"No, this is wrong, I'm not pregnant" I raise up the piece of paper that confirms mama's suspicion of me being pregnant

"Right, of course" she spits out in disgust, sarcasm dripping from her tone

"There must have been a mix up...maybe they mixed up my sample with someone else's, I'm not pregnant" I try to convince her

"Come on, you're still gonna keep lying? You disgusting slutty tramp" she moves towards me and raises her hand

I can't even move so I just close my eyes and wait for the impact

"I swear, mama, I'm still a virgin" I say with my eyes closed

1 second, no slap

2 seconds, nothing

3 seconds, still nothing

I start to open my eyes slowly

"Right, so what? You're pregnant with the messiah of this generation??" She laughs bitterly referring to how Mary conceived the Christ

I just stand there, without uttering a single word

"After all Marshall did for you, after all we did for you, this is how you choose to repay us?"

I just stand there now crying

I never cry for anything mama does anymore but just the mention of papa's name and I'm a sobbing mess

"Marshall took you in when your parents died in that explosion. He took you in and showered you with love when you were so traumatized, you couldn't even speak"

So, that's why she hates me so much. I'm not her daughter. She's not my mother

"You were so useless, but he loved you, he loved you even more than our own son and that's why I hate you, I hate you because you took a father's love for his child"

"I didn't take anything from anyone" I sob

"Shut the f**k up" she yelled " you robbed my son of his father's affection with your perfect grades and goody-two-shoes attitude even as a god damn mute"

"I didn't rob anybody of anything. Papa loved Colton just as much as he loved me"

"You were such a show off, you did everything right and made my boy look like a looser when in fact you are the real looser" she looked at me in disgust

That's why she hates me so much, she thinks I robbed Colton of Papa's attention

And that's why Colton hates me too

Papa is not even my father

My whole life is a lie

"You want to ruin the good reputation my husband worked hard all his life to earn" she yelled again

How does she not get tired of yelling so much??

"You and this stupid pregnancy of yours"

"I am...Not pregnant"

"You are a disgrace"

That hurt a lot, it shouldn't but it did

I shouldn't feel like this for anything mama does, she's never been nice to me anyway...she's never said anything good about me but this still hurts...it hurts so bad

"You have brought shame upon this family"

No, make it stop

It hurts so much, I felt my heart clench in my chest

You know that feeling when you can't breathe and it feels like your heart just stopped working and everything going on around you feels secondary and you can't hear anything

That's not what I'm feeling right now, I hear everything mama's saying, I understand all of it and it doesn't feel good at all...actually it feels worse than the worst feeling I've ever felt...I don't know why but it hurts so much

My heart beat increasing and my teeth close to chattering, my body shivering and my skin a sweaty mess as fresh tears form in my eyes

Why does it hurt so much?

Why is this happening?

Why me?

Haven't I suffered enough?

With everything and anything running through my mind, mama's ranting isn't helping at all

Oh my life