Walking into the bank with a tote for money and a gun in the car is the strangest feeling I’ve ever experienced. I have to actively remind myself I’m not robbing anyone. I explain to the teller that I’m buying a car, feeding her the story because I am self-conscious about cashing out so much money. I have no clue how often this kind of thing goes on at banks. Would a twelve-thousand-dollar cash withdrawal raise any flags, or is that an ordinary Monday for them? It feels like a ton of money to me, but I’m guessing it’s not as much as I think.
My hunch is confirmed when the teller hands over a stack of bills about an inch tall, and that’s being generous. She counts out the hundreds, and I realize my tote bag was a gross miscalculation. Clearly, I watch too much television because I was envi
