Victoria Greene

New York

Mr. Luciano and I had been sleeping together for over five months, he had suggested that I leave my job and he would look after me but I refused, wanting some independence. Though I agreed to move to an apartment to a safer area which he paid rent for. He also bought many gifts and my closet was filled with designer clothes and expensive jewels. I was saving money on the side because I knew one day he would get tired of me and I would have nothing left.

"What ya thinkin' 'bout?". He said from behind me. I looked at through the vanity mirror. It was his 36th and were going out to eat dinner at some fancy restaurant and I was busy doing my make up.

"You". I said my gaze meeting he's through the mirror and I felt giddy when he smiled at me. I was starting to develop feelings for him and that scared me.

"Me huh". He said kissing me on the neck before he took out something from his pocket and draped a diamond necklace on my neck.

"Ya like it?" He said kissing my neck as he clasped my necklace.

"I love it thank you". I replied.

"Good". He said and the phone started to ring.

"I need to get that". He said as he walked to the table with the telephone. He picked it up and I watched him talk through the mirror.

"Baby I told ya I' m busy tonight". He said and I felt a pang in my chest when I realized that he was talking to one of his other women. I had agreed to share him but I had no idea that I would develop feelings for him.

"Listen I'm takin out one of my gals for my birthday I'll call ya later". He said.

"Ya can come over tomorrow, and wear that red underwear that I like cover ya self with a coat. Ya don't need clothes for what I have planned for tomorrow". He said as he turned to look at me and then winked at me. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. I wanted a real relationship with him and not just s*x. He hung up the receiver and I went back to doing my make up.

"Are ya almost done". He asked.

"Mhmm". I replied not trusting my voice. I finished up my makeup and I finished my outfit with a mink coat to protect myself from the cold. It was November and winter had taken full force. We left the room, he tried making conversion but I merely hummed in reply. We arrived at the restaurant and he led me in. We sat at the table as a waiter took our orders, I saw the judgmental look in his eyes. A n***o woman being with a white man those days usually meant she was his wh*re and in a way, I was his wh*re, a white man's wh*re.

"So another year". I said.

"And I feel as young as ever". He smiled taking a sip of his champagne.

"Happy birthday Charlie". He said looking in his eyes.

"Thank you, baby". He said reaching over the table to kiss me.

"Are we interrupting something". A man's voice said and we broke the kiss. I looked up seeing the olive-skinned man with a red-haired fox clinging to his arm.

"Joey, how ya doin'". He said getting up from his seat and kissed the man on the cheeks.

"This is Victoria". Mr. Luciano said and I smiled at the man.

"My my Charles has always had a taste for the finer things in life". He said taking my hand and gently kissing it.

"This is Regina". Joey said pointing to the girl on his arm.

"Nice to meet you". I said.

"Likewise". She nodded.

"So we having a little party over there. Wanna join us". Joey asked

"I thought we going to spend the night alone". I whispered to Charles.

"I'll make it up to ya". He whispered.

"Where ya seated?". He asked Joey and he led us to a table full of people. I was not enjoying myself as I clung to Mr. Luciano like he was my lifeline. I was sure I seemed like an insecure little girl. The table was filled with loud chatter, almost everyone had a cigarette and scrunched up my face in disgust. What annoyed me the most was that they kept on speaking in Italian and I could not understand a single word

"I need to go to the ladies' room". Regina said getting up and moving from the table.

"I need to piss". Mr. Luciano said as he put out his cigarette. He got up and left the table and I was left alone with these unfamiliar men.

"So uhm Victoria where you from?". Joey asked taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Alabama". I replied.

"Uhh, a southern belle umm". He said and I smiled at him.

"It's okay you can relax. We might look frightening but I promise you we all gentlemen here". He said obviously noticing my uncomfortableness. I nodded and took a sip of champagne to cool my nerves.

"There you go". He smiled at me before returning to his conversation. I realized that Mr. Luciano and that girl Regina had been gone for a while. And as if on cue she walked back in well more like limped and I furrowed my brows wondering what happened to her. He followed less than a minute later and when he sat next to me I finally realized what happened. I felt sick to my stomach but I decided to keep quiet. When the party was done I rushed to the front of the restaurant as Mr. Luciano's driver pulled up.

"Take me home". I said as the tears formed in my eyes.

"What the f*ck was that?". Mr. Luciano said as he got into the car closing the door as his driver pulled away.

"Just please take me home". I said looking at Guissepe and he gave me a sympathetic look through the review mirror.

"Guissepe we goin' to my place". He said.

"What the f*ck is wrong with ya". He said looking at me.

"No no Guissepe take home please". The tears were falling down my face at this point.

"What the f*ck is going on". Mr. Luciano's voice rose.

"I know what you did with that broad!".I cried looking at him.

"You know I have other women". He said.

"Yes but that does not mean you should do it when I'm there". I said as I began sobbing.

"I'm not entertainin' this". He scoffed.

"Why?". I shouted in his face.

"Cause ya acting like a f*ckin child". He said and I shut my mouth. He was seventeen years older than me and that might be the problem here. Maybe I was still stuck in a fantasy of a little girl where she gets her prince in the end.

"Stop the car I want to get off". I said suddenly.

"Don't listen to her, she's throwin' a tantrum". Mr. Luciano said taking out his cigarette and lighting it.

"I swear to God Guissepe if you don't stop this car. I'm going to jump off".

"Ignore her". Mr. Luciano said calmly taking a drag of cigarette as if he didn't care that I was hurting. I looked at him for a while and I turned and opened the door of the moving vehicle. I put a leg out ready to jump but a pair of arms grabbed me halting my movement".

"What the f*ck is wrong with ya?". He shouted.

"Get off me!". I cried flailing my arms and kicking. The car stopped and I jumped off and walked to the sidewalk where I broke down in tears. It was dark and I had no idea where I was but I knew I didn't want to be anywhere near him.

"Why are ya doin' this to yourself?". He sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Leave me alone". I cried as I hugged my knees and began rocking back and forth.

"Listen I was honest from the beginnin' 'bout the nature of our relationship". He said as he paced up and down.

"It was supposed to be just s*x, no feelings, no emotional attachment just s*x. But why do I feel as if I'm dying inside". My voice cracked as I broke down in tears. He sat next to me and took me in his arms as I continued sobbing. My mind told me to leave him but my heart couldn't. I could change him, was how I rationalized staying with him.