Victoria Greene

Gone

Another three months went by and Charles grew more distant from our son, he had only seen him once in those three months and always made excuses for not seeing him, I gave on trying to make him visit Joseph. I could not force someone who didn't want to be a parent to be one. It was the summer of 1935 and Joseph was almost six months old, I decided to go to college. I had graduated from high school in 1932 but my parents could not afford to send me to college, which is why I moved to New York to go work instead. Charles was taking care of us very well and I could afford to pay my college tuition,I decided to hire a nurse to look after Joseph's. Whilst I was at school. It was my first day of college and I was extremely nervous.

"Okay he's feeding schedule is on the notice board, I've put his milk in the icebox. Please make sure he doesn't miss his nap otherwise he will be cranky the entire day and he's teething and has bit of a fever so I have some medicine for him in his nursery". I rushed with a sigh.

"Relax Ms. Greene, I have looked after babies for over twenty years". The dark-skinned woman said softly and I nodded. Joseph coughed and I rushed to his playpen, feeling his forehead which was a little hot.

"Maybe I shouldn't go today. He's sick". I said picking him up.

"Ms. Greene, he will be perfectly fine. All babies have a minor fever when they are teething". She said as I held my son rocking him feeling the tears sprinkling from my eyes. I had made sure to choose one of the best nurses in New York but I still felt uncomfortable with leaving my son with a stranger. A part of me feared that he would bond her and forget that I was his mother.

"Now, you just need to go to school and get that education". She said I was gently taking him from my hands and he began crying. I tried reaching out to take him.

"He will be okay, he just needs to get used to you leaving him". She said gently rocking him at that moment I wanted to take my baby and hold him in my arms until he was no longer upset. What broke my heart, even more, was that he was trying to reach out to me, I felt like the worst mother in the world. I sighed and gently kissed his caramel-skinned forehead and dark curls that resembled his father's ones when he didn't gel them down.

"I love you baby". I said kissing him again before I took my bag and walked out of the house. I got a cab that dropped me off on campus. I was extremely nervous when I stepped into the building, first of all, it what rare for women to attend college back then, secondly, it was even rarer for n***o women to attend college and lastly it was unheard of for a n***o woman with a child attending college. I was afraid that they would judge me for having a baby without being married first. I looked at the timetable that I was given and realized I had Education first. I was taking a degree in Education and I wanted to be a mathematics teacher since that was the subject that I was good at. I looked around for the lecture room realizing that I was lost.

"Excuse me". I said to the pale-skinned woman dressed in a red dress.

"Yes". She said looking at me.

"Would perhaps know where this room is". I said showing the paper.

"Oh, of course, I happen to be going to the same place, come on so we won't be late. I'm Pearl by the way". She said as we continued walking to class. I felt like a different person,I was more than just someone's mother, more than a stupid girl who fell in love with a man who refused to commit to her. I could officially call myself a college student.

My first was great I met a few people and we went out for coffee after our classes. As much as I enjoyed being away from home I missed my son dearly and wanted to go back to him. I took a cab and when we arrived home, I was met with a frightening sight. Cars were everywhere in front of my lawn and it was not just any cars it was police cars. My heart rate increased and I began shaking. I took out a bill and paid the driver before rushing out.

"Mam you can't go in there". One of the officers said.

"My son is in there". I said running into the house as he tried holding me back. I screamed when I saw the scene before me. My son's nurse was lying on the floor with a bullet between her eyes and the place had been ransacked.

"Where's Joseph". I said softly.

"You must be Ms. Victoria Greene". One of the officers said.

"Where's my son?". I said not having time for formalities and he sighed giving his partner a look.

"No". I said shaking my head and I ran to his nursery.

"Joseph". I said looking in his crib finding it empty.

"Joseph". I said running into my bedroom and finding it empty. I searched the entire house.

"Joseph baby where are you?". I was crying frantically at this point looking under my bed in the icebox everywhere.

"Victoria". That deep familiar voice said and I turned around to look at him.

"Where is he, please tell me you have him". I said as I watched Charles freeze, he seemed distressed.

"Where's my son, could someone tell me where my baby is?". I screamed frantically and Charles grabbed me trying to calm me down but I fought him.

"Where is he?". I screamed.

"I'll find him I promise, they won't get away with this". Charles whispered into my ear and in that moment I realized what he meant. My knees buckled but he caught me.

"No, please my baby". I screamed as he tried to comfort me. I felt like I was dying, I had never felt that much pain before. They took my baby and I regretted leaving him, I regretted choosing my education over him most of all I regretted having a baby with a man like Charles.